Author Topic: Sales party: the bait and switch! Update #42, #48, #90, #109, FINAL #134  (Read 33226 times)

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Nemesis

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Re: Sales party: the bait and switch! Update #42, upsetting #48
« Reply #90 on: March 31, 2013, 12:58:36 AM »
Op here!

I would like to start agin by thanking everyone for their thoughts and prayers! My next appt. with the obgyn is Wednesday, so here is hoping for some better news!

Anyway, I thought you might like a short update on what is going on with Sandra. Our mutual friend called me up this morning to ask how I was doing, and we started to talk about Sandra and her party. Apparently, I misunderstood Mutual Friend. It is NOT for Cosmetic Brand, but something like Cosmetic Brand, except worse. It is for some company that is pushing an antique French aromatherapy lamp and essential oils. The sales of this product are probably banned in France! The whole point to this company is to recruit since you don't earn anything much from the product sales. Plus the product is slightly ridiculous and difficult to use.

Sandra has been hooked on it since the end of last year. She gave Christmas gifts of these lamps to all her friends and relatives, together with her business card. During a gift opening session, she started to try recruiting people! She even invited a church group to her house for New Year's celebration and prayer session and gave her sales pitch there! She even invited several friends out for dinner, insisted to drive everyone and instead of going to a restaurant she drove them to the Stupid Lamp luxurious head office for a seminar and sales meeting! And people were stuck there since she was driving and paying for dinner, they didn't bring too much money out!

Many people have spoken to her and called her out on her actions, but she insists that she is just trying to give everyone a business opportunity and sees nothing wrong with it! She doesn't understand why everyone is not supportive of her.

When our mutual friend heard about the party that I was invited to, she said that she didn't have to know about the party to know that it is probably for Stupid Lamp. It is a good thing I didn't ask her whether it is a Cosmetic Brand party, because she could have honestly said no and then guilt me into attending her party after all!

The thing is that Sandra is not a bad person. She is actually very nice and personable. She just..well..does not think too deeply on things. That makes her quite an easy target for pushy sales persons and in this case, pyramid scheme recruiters. We just hope that she does not lose too much money in this endeavour...

chibichan

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Re: Sales party: the bait and switch! Update #42, upsetting #48
« Reply #91 on: March 31, 2013, 05:12:16 AM »
We just hope that she does not lose too much money in this endeavour...

Better add the words " or friends " to that sentence . How long has she been sucked into this ? I am surprised that people aren't crossing the street to avoid her by now .

You are in a good frame of mind about this . Concentrate on you health and your baby and spare no thoughts for Sandra . You may be able to resume the friendship later on , providing she returns to sanity .

If not , you may have to tell her " Stupid Lamp Company has possessed my friend and turned her into someone I have no desire to be around . I will be happy to see you in the future , providing you do not utter one word that is designed to get me to buy or use some Company's products ."

Wishing you the best of luck at your next appointment !
The key to avoiding trouble is to learn to recognize it from a distance.

Luci

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Re: Sales party: the bait and switch! Update #42, upsetting #48, #90
« Reply #92 on: March 31, 2013, 09:30:09 AM »
The last thing any pregnant woman needs, especially one at risk, is strange unecessary and unknown chemicals float around in the air! And along with the stress of being annoyed by a 'friend' and worrying about her...........well, you just don't need it. I hope you can distance yourself for a bit.

Still thinking of you and praying.

Virg

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Re: Sales party: the bait and switch! Update #42, upsetting #48, #90
« Reply #93 on: March 31, 2013, 11:32:10 AM »
Nemesis wrote:

"She even invited several friends out for dinner, insisted to drive everyone and instead of going to a restaurant she drove them to the Stupid Lamp luxurious head office for a seminar and sales meeting!  And people were stuck there since she was driving and paying for dinner, they didn't bring too much money out!"

...and...

"The thing is that Sandra is not a bad person."


I'll be the one to say it.  These two statements are incongruous, because the situation described in the first statement is premeditated and deceptive.  Someone who lies in an effort to force friends to sit through a sales pitch, and sets up the situation so that they can't leave when they discover the ruse, is a bad person.

"She just..well..does not think too deeply on things."

She thought out the setup of that "dinner" invitation pretty well.  The fact is that she has no problem with deceit and trickery when it suits her financial plans, she's proven that she'll knowingly push you into doing things that are bad for you to further her own plans (and will avoid giving you the real story to make it more likely that you'll comply) and her attitude smacks of doing it "for your own good" so it'll never get any better.  You said yourself that she's an easy mark for every swindler who comes along.  It's certainly not my place to tell you what to do with her, but personally I'd never bother speaking to her again because I'd constantly have to be on guard against the next get-rich-quick scheme that suckered her in.

Virg

doodlemor

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Re: Sales party: the bait and switch! Update #42, upsetting #48, #90
« Reply #94 on: March 31, 2013, 11:58:07 AM »
Nemesis wrote:

"She even invited several friends out for dinner, insisted to drive everyone and instead of going to a restaurant she drove them to the Stupid Lamp luxurious head office for a seminar and sales meeting!  And people were stuck there since she was driving and paying for dinner, they didn't bring too much money out!"

...and...

"The thing is that Sandra is not a bad person."


I'll be the one to say it.  These two statements are incongruous, because the situation described in the first statement is premeditated and deceptive.  Someone who lies in an effort to force friends to sit through a sales pitch, and sets up the situation so that they can't leave when they discover the ruse, is a bad person.

"She just..well..does not think too deeply on things."

She thought out the setup of that "dinner" invitation pretty well.  The fact is that she has no problem with deceit and trickery when it suits her financial plans, she's proven that she'll knowingly push you into doing things that are bad for you to further her own plans (and will avoid giving you the real story to make it more likely that you'll comply) and her attitude smacks of doing it "for your own good" so it'll never get any better.  You said yourself that she's an easy mark for every swindler who comes along.  It's certainly not my place to tell you what to do with her, but personally I'd never bother speaking to her again because I'd constantly have to be on guard against the next get-rich-quick scheme that suckered her in.

Virg

POD ever bit of this.

Sandra is not a good person.  Her behavior shows a high level of sneakiness. 

As the years go by she is going to be more trouble than she is worth. 

I'm still praying for you and your baby, too.

LeveeWoman

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Re: Sales party: the bait and switch! Update #42, upsetting #48, #90
« Reply #95 on: March 31, 2013, 12:00:45 PM »
I agree with Virg: she's not a nice person.

Tia2

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Re: Sales party: the bait and switch! Update #42, upsetting #48, #90
« Reply #96 on: March 31, 2013, 12:35:57 PM »
I agree with Virg: she's not a nice person.

This - she may be a charming person; she may be entertaining and good company at times but she is not nice, she is a manipulative liar who will say and do whatever it takes to financially profit from her so called friends.

She has obviously got away with this for a long time which is why she now feels she can go as far as she has.

I hope you and your baby are fine.  You shouldn't give this woman another thought - she isn't worth it.

snappylt

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Re: Sales party: the bait and switch! Update #42, upsetting #48, #90
« Reply #97 on: March 31, 2013, 06:39:04 PM »
I agree with Virg: she's not a nice person.

This - she may be a charming person; she may be entertaining and good company at times but she is not nice, she is a manipulative liar who will say and do whatever it takes to financially profit from her so called friends.

She has obviously got away with this for a long time which is why she now feels she can go as far as she has.

I hope you and your baby are fine.  You shouldn't give this woman another thought - she isn't worth it.

I find myself agreeing with the quoted posters.  Somehow, to me, this woman's behavior crosses a line.  As a reasonable outsider who does not know either one of you, based on what you've posted in this thread, she does not sound at all like a nice person to me.

rose red

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Re: Sales party: the bait and switch! Update #42, upsetting #48, #90
« Reply #98 on: March 31, 2013, 06:49:54 PM »
Of course she "nice."  That's how such people get what they want and get away with it.  Even now, after all that's happened and her attitude towards you and your baby, you think she's nice.  Please stop falling for the act and back away from her "friendship."

VorFemme

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Re: Sales party: the bait and switch! Update #42, upsetting #48, #90
« Reply #99 on: March 31, 2013, 07:35:31 PM »
VorGuy knew a guy like this back in high school.  It took fourteen years to realize that his "old buddy" from the track team was still acting like the high school jock that he'd been back then without an apparent inkling that he was now over thirty years old.......too old to be acting like a high school jerk jock!
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

Tea Drinker

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Re: Sales party: the bait and switch! Update #42, upsetting #48, #90
« Reply #100 on: March 31, 2013, 08:00:40 PM »
Of course she "nice."  That's how such people get what they want and get away with it.  Even now, after all that's happened and her attitude towards you and your baby, you think she's nice.  Please stop falling for the act and back away from her "friendship."

"Nice is different from good." Stephen Sondheim, Into the Woods
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Sales party: the bait and switch! Update #42, upsetting #48, #90
« Reply #101 on: March 31, 2013, 08:28:27 PM »
I think it's that dichotomy of nice vs. devious and self-centered that can make it really hard to distance oneself from a toxic person because you think "well, they're not all bad, they used to do this and they can be nice about that sometimes."   But when tallied up the worse parts of their personality outweigh the pleasant.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Pen^2

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Re: Sales party: the bait and switch! Update #42, upsetting #48, #90
« Reply #102 on: March 31, 2013, 09:03:01 PM »
Sandra had been told, many times, of how serious and upsetting OP's condition was. She continued to completely disregard this (e.g. "so are you still up for the party?"). This is not a momentary lapse of memory or a brain fart. She has done this several times, and has been told the facts of OP's conditions several times. This means her behaviour is no longer excusable as someone who is clueless and doesn't no any better--she has been told otherwise, and cannot be said to be hurting the OP due to cluelessness any longer. Maybe she's a "nice person" only some of the time? Because that's a great way to tell if someone isn't actually a nice person at all.

That said, there are two sides to every story, and although I cannot personally fathom what could excuse Sandra's rude, inconsiderate, and downright dangerous behaviour, there might be some reason. Everything she has said and done screams "uncaring and selfish", but whether or not this is the truth cannot be said. In the end, though, it's irrelevant.

Whether or not Sandra is a good friend, her actions are nevertheless taxing for Nemesis, who is not in a position to endure it easily. If the cause cannot be treated, treat the symptom. I honestly think it would be best for Nemesis, who needs as much time, rest, and mental strength as possible at the moment, to completely minimise contact with Sandra, or block her entirely, since Sandra has confirmed that her actions are only going to make a bad situation more stressful and worse for OP. Doing what is necessary, for your own safety or health, is never something you should feel bad about or hesitate over.

Many many hugs to Nemesis, and lots of wishes for strength.

SoCalVal

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Re: Sales party: the bait and switch! Update #42, upsetting #48, #90
« Reply #103 on: April 01, 2013, 12:45:24 AM »
Whether or not she started out as a nice person, I'd have an impossible time continuing to think favorably of anyone (much less continue to call that person a friend) who would put his/her desire to make money as more important than the survival of my unborn child.



Promise

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Re: Sales party: the bait and switch! Update #42, upsetting #48, #90
« Reply #104 on: April 01, 2013, 12:53:23 AM »
Your friend has been manipulated into a cult of pink. I'm assuming MK. They have had 50 years to hone scripts that are slick in order to not only coerce people to the selling parties but worse, recruiting them and getting them to spend upwards of thousands of dollars to start their business. She won't take no for an answer because she's been trained that a "no" means "I don't have enough information".  There have been directors in the hospital with cancer who are booking and recruiting because it will make a great "I-Story." These women will use funerals to make connections. It truly is cult-like training and manipulation. Take a look at pinktruth.com or send her there to see what thousands of women who were in these mlms have to say. For you, say "It is not in my best interest to go to this makeup party or to hear a recruiter's message. I am not going. Please respect my decision." If she continues, repeat the same script over and over.