Sales party: the bait and switch! Update #42, #48, #90, #109, FINAL #134

[Shoo]

She LIED to you.  Flat out lied.  I wouldn't even bother responding to her anymore.  Ignore her.

[RingTailedLemur]

"As I explained to you on the telephone, the health of myself and my baby precludes attending your sales party."

[rose red]

"As I explained to you on the telephone, the health of myself and my baby precludes attending your sales party."

I would do this, but make sure 100% this party is the sales party since you got the information second hand.  It sounds pretty likely, but there's that slim chance.

[Cami]

She LIED to you.  Flat out lied. 

And she lied to you for her own material gain, willfully ignoring the serious medical situation you are dealing with. I do not think I would feel a need to be friend with this person any longer.  I'd probably contact her and say, "I will not be attending your cosmetic sales party" and then cease contact with her.

[Judah]

I wouldn't send her a text or email. I would wait until she contacted me again about the party, then I'd let her have it. Not rudely, but angrily. Does she not realize how precarious your situation is to have been put on bed rest! And she wants you to risk your health and that of your child to attend a sales party! And she lied to you about it! I'm furious on your behalf.

But if you feel you need to send her something, I'd go with RingTailedLemur's response.

"As I explained to you on the telephone, the health of myself and my baby precludes attending your sales party."

[Miss Tickle]

She LIED to you.  Flat out lied.  I wouldn't even bother responding to her anymore.  Ignore her.

This.

You've declined.  If she refuses to acknowledge that, well, that's her problem.  If she attempts to "reconfirm" your attendance, I would straight up ask if it's a Cary-May party (or whatever) and then reiterate your position. And at that point it would be appropriate to let her know you don't appreciate her deception regarding the "party" and since she chose to pressure you about it, you'd prefer to be left off any invite lists for future parties.  If she argues with you again, I'd point out that having an unhappy guest at a sales party is no better than having an angry customer in your shop. They can turn sales (and recruitment) off like a faucet, particularly if they have any experience with MLM's.

[TootsNYC]

I absolutely wouldn't say "hope the party goes well." Not with what I know.

I'd say, "I'm on bedrest and am not willing to risk my baby's life to attend your Cosmetics Line party."

[Sharnita]

Honestly, I would not focus so much on the sales part. Even before you knew that you were unwilling to take the risks and she was pressuring you. That crosses boundaries no matter what kind of event she is hosting. You don't want to give the impression that if it had been a different kind of party the outcome would be different.

[doodlemor]

Not overreacting. What a self-centered witch!

I like this.  Short, accurate, and to the point.

Nemesis, I'm glad that you are home and you and your baby will remain in my prayers.

I think that your proposed answer is way, way too nice.  This woman is also not really your friend.  Considering her callous treatment of you and your condition, I think that there is something seriously wrong with her. 

Don't just tell her that your health precludes your attendance at the party.  She will then make plans to drop off the dang catalog so that you won't be left out of the **fun** -  aka  $sales$. 

I rather like Judah's suggestion of "letting her have it. 

I wouldn't send her a text or email. I would wait until she contacted me again about the party, then I'd let her have it. Not rudely, but angrily. Does she not realize how precarious your situation is to have been put on bed rest! And she wants you to risk your health and that of your child to attend a sales party! And she lied to you about it! I'm furious on your behalf.

I'm furious on your behalf, also.  If you aren't up to the anger and vehemence that Judah suggests, perhaps you could just tell her quietly that you are totally shocked that she would insist that you come to a sales party when you are on bed rest to protect your baby.  You could tell her that you want to take a break from your friendship with her for awhile, because her behavior is so upsetting to you.

[CakeBeret]

I agree fully with doodlemor. IMO this is not the time for a gentle "hope your party goes well" response. Your friend is suggesting you jeopardize your child's health for her financial gain, and she needs to be called on that.

[Eeep!]

Idefinitely wouldn't be sending a pleasant "hope your party goes well" text.  I am so mad for you. How hurtful!
I actually think that I would probably text her something like 'I just found out that your "party" is actually for [product].  I really can't believe that you would pressure me into risking the health of me and my baby for a sales party.  Thanks for letting me know what you really think of me. " But that probably wouldn't be that great of a response. But I really don't think it is wrong to let her know that you know it's a sales party. What a terrible terrible friend! Truly, - I can't imagine doing such a thing to any of my friends.

(I was on modified bedrest with my YDS and that was bad enough - hope everything goes well with the rest of your pregnancy!)

[Surianne]

Upon further reflection attending a party is just not worth the risk of my health or my baby's.

I love this.  Short and simple, and calling her on her tactics (pressuring you) without even having to say that you know it's a sales party.

[BeagleMommy]

Nemesis:

You are not overreacting.  This woman needs a good whack with a clue-by-four!  She's read your Facebook updates and STILL tries to pressure you into going against doctor's orders by going to her "party". 

Don't respond.  If she calls you or emails you I think the best phrase would be "I'm sorry that won't be possible.".

((((Hugs))))

[Luci]

Honestly, I would not focus so much on the sales part. Even before you knew that you were unwilling to take the risks and she was pressuring you. That crosses boundaries no matter what kind of event she is hosting. You don't want to give the impression that if it had been a different kind of party the outcome would be different.

This person is NOT a friend. She lied to you, wouldn't respect your health and the health of the baby, wants you to defy doctor's orders, and for no good reason.

A friend asks you if she can run any errands for you and brings a meal every couple of weeks and helps in other ways if she can.

I don't think I've ever been as furious about anything on eHell as I am about this right now.

Now take care of that baby and please remember 'no' is your best tool right now. This doesn't even deserve a 'No, thank you' after her continuing to not accept it the first time.

[TootsNYC]

A friend doesn't have to offer to help you every time.
And even if you're on bedrest, it's not bad for a friend to invite you to a gathering, not even a sales party.

But to pressure you, especially to lie to you to hide the self-benefitting aspect of the event?

That's a user, not a friend.