Author Topic: Giving out a phone number without permission.  (Read 6486 times)

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MOM21SON

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Giving out a phone number without permission.
« on: March 26, 2013, 03:10:32 PM »
This happened to me today.  I changed my phone number a few months ago and today I received a call from someone I have not given to. 

The person that gave it insists they weren't rude, just being helpful.

Am I overreacting?

Dorrie78

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Re: Giving out a phone number without permission.
« Reply #1 on: March 26, 2013, 03:12:23 PM »
No, you are not wrong to be upset. I never give out someone else's phone number. I always take the number of the person who wants the phone number and give it to the person whose number is requested and let them make contact if they wish.

Judah

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Re: Giving out a phone number without permission.
« Reply #2 on: March 26, 2013, 03:13:40 PM »
This happened to me today.  I changed my phone number a few months ago and today I received a call from someone I have not given to. 

The person that gave it insists they weren't rude, just being helpful.

Am I overreacting?

Nope. You should never, ever give someone else's contact information without their permission. If some asks me for someone else's number or email, I take their number and pass it along to the person they're inquiring about. Never the other way around.
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Moray

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Re: Giving out a phone number without permission.
« Reply #3 on: March 26, 2013, 03:17:22 PM »
In general, it's very rude. However, I think there's a difference between my sister passing my new cell number to my grandpa and cousin bob giving it to his buddy that runs an MLM scheme.
Utah

jmarvellous

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Re: Giving out a phone number without permission.
« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2013, 03:23:19 PM »
I don't really find it rude without more information. If someone knows I don't speak with another person and gives my # out anyway, rude! If someone suspects the asker of unpleasant motives, rude! If the person is a mutual friend with no reason to believe I no longer want to speak with the other person, I will handle it on my end.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2013, 03:52:04 PM by jmarvellous »

Lynn2000

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Re: Giving out a phone number without permission.
« Reply #5 on: March 26, 2013, 03:40:57 PM »
Generally I think it's best not to give out a third party's contact information, but as PP said there are times when most people would say it was perfectly okay, like passing a new phone number on to relatives or mutual friends. For some people the "of course it's okay" zone is bigger than with other people and for some it's smaller; I think it's hard to make a rule about it because there could be so many exceptions.

So I would say, when in doubt, don't pass it on. If you find someone who is too loose with your contact info, asking them to stop is completely polite; they may not be rude so much as they just have a different comfort zone than you. If they don't stop after you ask, they are definitely rude.
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Surianne

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Re: Giving out a phone number without permission.
« Reply #6 on: March 26, 2013, 03:50:18 PM »
Depends on the context for me.  I've had people pass on my phone number in ways that were very helpful before. 

MOM21SON

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Re: Giving out a phone number without permission.
« Reply #7 on: March 26, 2013, 03:56:21 PM »
I think a "do not give my number out to anyone."  was very clear.

Surianne

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Re: Giving out a phone number without permission.
« Reply #8 on: March 26, 2013, 04:04:24 PM »
I think a "do not give my number out to anyone."  was very clear.

I'm sorry, you've totally lost me here.  I reread your first post and am not seeing anything about telling the person not to give out your number.  Are you saying you said that?  If so that's a very different question.

MOM21SON

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Re: Giving out a phone number without permission.
« Reply #9 on: March 26, 2013, 04:19:47 PM »
I think a "do not give my number out to anyone."  was very clear.

I'm sorry, you've totally lost me here.  I reread your first post and am not seeing anything about telling the person not to give out your number.  Are you saying you said that?  If so that's a very different question.

Yes, I said that. 

But, when I am asked for someones number, I always take their number instead and give that to the person.  I would never just give someones number.  There are many reasons that people may not want their number given.

Moray

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Re: Giving out a phone number without permission.
« Reply #10 on: March 26, 2013, 04:20:01 PM »
I think a "do not give my number out to anyone."  was very clear.

I'm sorry, you've totally lost me here.  I reread your first post and am not seeing anything about telling the person not to give out your number.  Are you saying you said that?  If so that's a very different question.

Yeah, that's pretty vital information. The unfortunate hazard of sourcing opinions here is that we can only go off of what you give us :)

If you explicitly told whoever not to give out your number, then of course it is rude. How could it not be?
Utah

Tea Drinker

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Re: Giving out a phone number without permission.
« Reply #11 on: March 26, 2013, 04:38:37 PM »
Even if you hadn't said "please don't give out my number," you can go back to the person and say "I realize you were trying to be helpful, but please don't give my number to anyone else." You can't unshare the number with the person who shouldn't have it (and they may or may not honor "please don't share this") but you can ask the person who gave it out not to share it further. Whether or not they were trying to be rude, it's a reasonable request for the future.
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Morticia

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Re: Giving out a phone number without permission.
« Reply #12 on: March 27, 2013, 12:22:54 PM »
I still recall how my mother learned this lesson. Many years ago, I answered the phone and was greeted with "You [expletives deleted]." I know the girl thought she was being funny, but we hadn't kept in touch, and I certainly was not at a level of intimacy with her where that would be acceptable. Actually, I'm not on that level of intimacy with anyone. I haven't spoken with her since, and don't feel I have missed anything this last quarter century.

When I explained to my mother what had happened, she agreed that she would always take a number to pass on to me.
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MonteCristo

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Re: Giving out a phone number without permission.
« Reply #13 on: March 27, 2013, 12:26:47 PM »
I was stunned just yesterday to discover that not giving out other people contact information isn't a universal rule.  My coworkers looked at me like I had two heads when I said you should never give out someone phone number without their permission.  Now I wonder how often they've given out mine!

zyrs

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Re: Giving out a phone number without permission.
« Reply #14 on: March 27, 2013, 12:27:20 PM »
If you told the person not to give your contact information out without your permission then they were definitely rude.