General Etiquette > Life...in general

“Now, who could it be? Could it be ... Satan?” AKA Dealing with Church Ladies

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gramma dishes:

--- Quote from: guihong on April 02, 2013, 06:34:24 AM ---...  When I arrived at the wedding the next morning, the room was transformed!  The CL had come out en masse sometime the night before and worked for many hours setting up.  That's not all-they stayed and served  :'(.  They refused to stay and eat (I of course ordered way too much food), but accepted a large donation to the church fund.   ...

--- End quote ---

Aww ... this is such a sweet story and a wonderfully refreshing departure from the other experiences so many of us have had.  But somehow, I have a feeling that these particular ladies never probably fit into the "Church Lady" category that others are talking about.  These sound like wonderful, sweet, inclusive, true and genuine ladies who happen to attend your church.   No sarcastic quotation marks for them!   ;)

Piratelvr1121:
Our church doesn't really have any cliques that I've noticed, though I've not been there for a year yet.   There are several groups but the main ones I can think of are the vestry, daughters of the king, and youth group and since many of the women of the church are in DOKs, vestry and have kids in the youth group and choir, there's definitely overlap and there's no real one group of "church ladies" that I have really noticed just yet.   

When I was providing dinner for the choir (we each take turns each week for the rehearsals) one of the older ladies came into the kitchen to help me set it up and she set the table while I got the dinner ready.   And when another mother and I were talking about what we'd like the youth group to do another older lady said "let me know what I can do to help!"


Queen of Clubs:
I think part of the difference between these two types of Church Ladies is that one is exclusive while the other is inclusive.  The cliquish ones only allow others like them into their group, so the mindset is perpetuated, and people who would volunteer end up being driven off to join other churches with more inclusive church ladies or stay in that church but don't volunteer because of the sheer amount of hassle it involves.  I suspect any cliquish church ladies would find it harder to get a good toe hold in the inclusive group as they'd be thoroughly out-voted by sheer weight of numbers.

scansons:

--- Quote from: gramma dishes on April 02, 2013, 10:18:16 AM ---
--- Quote from: guihong on April 02, 2013, 06:34:24 AM ---...  When I arrived at the wedding the next morning, the room was transformed!  The CL had come out en masse sometime the night before and worked for many hours setting up.  That's not all-they stayed and served  :'(.  They refused to stay and eat (I of course ordered way too much food), but accepted a large donation to the church fund.   ...

--- End quote ---

Aww ... this is such a sweet story and a wonderfully refreshing departure from the other experiences so many of us have had.  But somehow, I have a feeling that these particular ladies never probably fit into the "Church Lady" category that others are talking about.  These sound like wonderful, sweet, inclusive, true and genuine ladies who happen to attend your church.   No sarcastic quotation marks for them!   ;)

--- End quote ---

I don't know about that.  In fact, I submit that guihong's church ladies and the OP's church ladies could be exactly the same group just on different days.  On the wedding day, the woman who holds sway over the better angels of their nature stepped up and lead.  But the lady who has an ax to grind works in the office with the rector the most.  People are very rarely just one thing or another.  There is a deep duality to human nature. 

You could pick a day at random in my life and use the facts to make me look like the most horrible selfish person on earth.  You could take that same day and from another point of view make me look like a saint.  But I am neither. 

Likewise, especially in groups, sometimes it's all about who's asking, and who they ask. 

Poppea:

--- Quote from: scansons on April 02, 2013, 12:01:07 PM ---
--- Quote from: gramma dishes on April 02, 2013, 10:18:16 AM ---
--- Quote from: guihong on April 02, 2013, 06:34:24 AM ---...  When I arrived at the wedding the next morning, the room was transformed!  The CL had come out en masse sometime the night before and worked for many hours setting up.  That's not all-they stayed and served  :'(.  They refused to stay and eat (I of course ordered way too much food), but accepted a large donation to the church fund.   ...

--- End quote ---

Aww ... this is such a sweet story and a wonderfully refreshing departure from the other experiences so many of us have had.  But somehow, I have a feeling that these particular ladies never probably fit into the "Church Lady" category that others are talking about.  These sound like wonderful, sweet, inclusive, true and genuine ladies who happen to attend your church.   No sarcastic quotation marks for them!   ;)

--- End quote ---

I don't know about that.  In fact, I submit that guihong's church ladies and the OP's church ladies could be exactly the same group just on different days.  On the wedding day, the woman who holds sway over the better angels of their nature stepped up and lead.  But the lady who has an ax to grind works in the office with the rector the most.  People are very rarely just one thing or another.  There is a deep duality to human nature. 

You could pick a day at random in my life and use the facts to make me look like the most horrible selfish person on earth.  You could take that same day and from another point of view make me look like a saint.  But I am neither. 

Likewise, especially in groups, sometimes it's all about who's asking, and who they ask.

--- End quote ---

This is such a universally true statement about human nature.

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