Author Topic: Farewell after seven years' service - no card, no gift, and no speech for you!  (Read 8931 times)

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SadieBaby

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Please listen to others here and let it go.  I think your husband perhaps already said and did too much.  Yeah, it doesn't seem fair, but life isn't fair and it comes off as petty to be so upset about the lack of a parting gift, especially when he did have a lunch in his honor. 

Otterpop

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Please listen to others here and let it go.  I think your husband perhaps already said and did too much.  Yeah, it doesn't seem fair, but life isn't fair and it comes off as petty to be so upset about the lack of a parting gift, especially when he did have a lunch in his honor.

Absolutely this.  It stinks that he wasn't given the big send off but it might have been quashed by one toxic person, not the entire office.  It may not have been personal, the environment could have changed.

This happened to me 20 years ago and it stung for a long time.  Turns out our poisonous office manager was insecure about anyone outperforming her.  She harassed people until they quit one by one,  then said "Why should we celebrate, they're leaving US."  I got the hasty lunch after 4 years, beat it out of there and only looked back once (contacted an old colleague).  The atmosphere had become more toxic and turnover was through the roof.

Take the lunch as a kind gesture and move on to a better place.  (((hugs)))

ladyknight1

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My current career plans have me switching from the remote part of my organization I am currently with to a particular department of the main organization in two years. At that time, I will have worked at current place for 8 and a half years. I honestly don't think they will do anything, as the last few lower level employees have not had anything done for them when they left. It will be a big deal for me, changing from hourly to salaried and beginning my graduate career as well, but we will have a family and friends celebration and be done with it. I usually have low expectations from other people for things like that, and if anything does happen, it can be a pleasant surprise.

One of our prior employees left the organization as a whole a year ago, with much boasting about how much better her new organization was going to be and she burnt a lot of bridges when she left. Less than a year later, she managed to get another, lower level position at my organization, but it was very hard for her because she had treated people harshly upon her prior departure. The office had a big party for her during her initial departure, but I took that day off.

OP, I believe your DF needs to let it go. I hope he has a few days to lay that disappointment to rest and prepare for his new position.

reflection5

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Your DF, and you should ask yourselves the following questions: What do I want to accomplish? If you complain, what's the result you want to see? Would a card and speech at this late date make everything better, or would it feel hollow?

Personally, while I know that this hurts, I wouldn't do anything about it. Complaining now isn't very far from a 5yo complaining that the pinata at his birthday party didn't have enough candy.

Good answer.  Exactly what I was thinking.

OP, from the information provided, it does seem that something was ‘going on’ re: the supervisor who doesn’t like DF  Of course, that’s just conjecture.  Or, maybe prior to DF’s transfer it was decided to trim down the farewells to just a lunch.

DF got a farewell lunch.  He should just move on.  (He should not have complained to co-workers - that will definitely get repeated.)

(btw, going to HR :o or writing a complaint letter is a HORRIBLE idea.  That would haunt DF forever, and make him the butt of jokes and snide remarks behind his back.)


« Last Edit: March 29, 2013, 01:26:36 PM by reflection5 »

cicero

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I agree with the others - and I'm sorry for your DH's sake, it's *really* bad how he was treated.

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ClaireC79

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Did the other people leave the company or transfer and leave the branch?

That may be where the disconnect comes in because with a transfer they are leaving but not completely leaving so I could see less of a big deal being made

bansidhe

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Here's another vote for saying nothing and letting it go.

There are so many reasons this could have happened. It could have slipped through the cracks because some of the people involved with setting up the celebration were new and didn't fully understand the tradition. Or perhaps the full celebration doesn't apply to people who are transferring within the company, rather than leaving it entirely. Or perhaps the tradition is in the process of changing. When I first started with my company, we used to have big get-togethers in the break room when people left, complete with cake and speeches and the like. That tradition has died out for whatever reason.

In the worse-case scenario it is the doing of a malicious jerk but even if it is, pursuing the matter won't make DF look very good to anyone. It will just come across as petty and vengeful.
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gramma dishes

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I feel so bad for your husband.  That had to have really stung!

But I do agree with everyone else.  They way it stands it is at least possible that the event was 'planned' by someone who just didn't know the tradition and didn't want to ask anyone else.  It is also possible that because he's actually staying with the company, they didn't want to give him the "total and complete" farewell.  Or maybe it was done intentionally by someone who didn't like him. 

It really doesn't matter.  If it was intentional, word will get around.  It will be discussed among DH's coworkers who may feel horrified and embarrassed about the way this was handled.  But if DH complains about it to ANYONE it will simply make him look bad.  Let the others do the work for him.  Much better that he be the one his coworkers sympathize with than the one they make fun of for pouting.


GrammarNerd

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Yes, I can see why he feels snubbed!  But I agree: unless there's something more than just hurt feelings involved, he really shouldn't say anything.

I had something similar happen when I left my old company, and I DID say something to HR.  Because in a way, it was an HR matter.  My company sort of forced me out by playing games with me, changing my duties, changing my hours; essentially changing/eliminating the position that I was in.  I'd been there over 9 years by that point.  They said it was a 'resource issue', but I could see through that.  My wonderful coworkers took me out for a last lunch, and I appreciated that.  But on my last day, NONE of my supervisors or managers, past or present, came by to wish me well.  NOBODY talked to me regarding my departure, what I was working on or anything.  HR didn't come by to give me anything relating to end-of-employment materials, or about how long I would have computer or building access.  When my normal departure time came, I just walked out the door with the rest of my personal belongings and that was it.

I composed a message to HR, expressing my disappointment that despite my 9 years of service to the company with consistent good reviews, I didn't hear anything from even one person in HR or management about my leaving.  Not one 'we wish you the best' or anything.  From a security standpoint, nobody even stopped by to make sure I surrendered my security badge.  I set the email for delayed delivery, for about 5 minutes after I walked out of the door, so I was gone by the time it was delivered.  Of course, this is the company that fought my unemployment claim (and won....darn this state).  During my going-away lunch, even my coworkers were incredulous that no supervisors or HR had spoken to me yet, about anything, even security issues.  (Normally, employees were escorted out the door when they left, and for some, they were told to leave immediately when they gave notice.)

(In retrospect, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised after what happened with my birthday several years earlier.  Over the years, I was asked to sign so many birthday cards for coworkers.  There was always some mention of a person's birthday, possibly even cubicle decorations or a big sign, even if the birthday person took the actual birthday off or it fell on a weekend.  When my birthday rolled around this one year, I got....nothing.  No mention.  (My actual birthday was on a day that I normally had off, so I thought they would do something the day before.)  I was kind of bummed.  Then I remembered that the bowling outing was that weekend (the day after my bday), so I thought maybe they were saving the surprise for the bowling outing.  Nope; we just bowled.  Let me tell you, I didn't even want to sign the darn card when the next birthday rolled around, especially when it was for a person who was rude, grumpy and ill-mannered a lot of the time, unless she was trying to suck up to someone (and supervisors never did anything about it).)

Snooks

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Another vote for do nothing.  It sounds like this was all quite short notice, it may be that they didn't have time to organise a card and gift.  I sat through huge pot luck leaving presentations with gushing speeches, I got cornered by my desk given a card and about three words from my director after more than five years of service.  In the end it doesn't matter because you're moving on to something (hopefully) that you've chosen to do, take that with you not the send off.

*inviteseller

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I vote for do nothing.  He is still in the same company so he may cross paths with these people again and all he will be remembered for is sour grapes over not getting a token  and speech.  Maybe because it was just an intercompany transfer, they did not feel the need to do the big fete as he is actually still with the company.

LifeOnPluto

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Thanks guys. It seems like the overwhelming vote is to "do nothing", so this is what I'll be encouraging DF to do.

Some clarification on a couple of points people have raised:

1) Lesser Boss is aware of the protocol for farewells. It was him who gave the farewell speech for the contractor who'd only been there for 6 weeks;

2) The card/gift/speech is given to all people who leave the branch, even if they're still staying with the Organisation.

And there is another question: DF believes there is a strong chance that people from his Old Branch (possibly even Lesser Boss) might call him up and ask him for favours related to his old job in Old Branch (eg, "can you send me a copy of the letter template you devised for the Jones account, so I can use it for this new matter?" etc). Should DF acquiesce and do the favour for them? Or should he politely tell them that he no longer works in Old Branch, and they'll have to come up with their own template, etc?

Venus193

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I vote no on the favor because
  • he no longer works in Old Branch; not his problem anymore
  • after being slighted this could be a slippery slope.

Perfect Circle

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I vote for acting professionally.

It is a shame the custom of leaving wasn't followed but being difficult is only going to reflect on your partner and not in a positive way. Sending a letter template over is not a big ask, for example.
In all this talk of time
Talk is fine
But I don't want to stay around
Why can't we pantomime, just close our eyes
And sleep sweet dreams
Me and you with wings on our feet

Girly

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And there is another question: DF believes there is a strong chance that people from his Old Branch (possibly even Lesser Boss) might call him up and ask him for favours related to his old job in Old Branch (eg, "can you send me a copy of the letter template you devised for the Jones account, so I can use it for this new matter?" etc). Should DF acquiesce and do the favour for them? Or should he politely tell them that he no longer works in Old Branch, and they'll have to come up with their own template, etc?

If it was something that wouldn't take me long to do, I would just send it to them. Especially if I was going to be working with them in ANY capacity in the future.