Oh man, do I have a story on this topic!
I met my DH through my AOL personal ad. I had it up for several years and met many interesting folks. Being single and never married/no kids, I created my profile to state that I did not want to date divorced men or men with children. I had to actually put this in the ad, because otherwise, I was just inundated with men IM'ing me with the thought that I would just LOVE to become a Celie to their Mister (a nod to The Color Purple there).
I was raised in a family with married parents, in a neighborhood in a time when single parents were the exception and not the norm. So I had no concept of "blended families" and didn't want to learn. I had already seen through my employment forays, what happens when someone gets involved with a man who has a crazy baby mama or nutty ex-wife. I had no baggage, so the person I wanted to spend my life with shouldn't have any either.
My personal ad also stated that if you wanted to respond, do so intelligently, with spell check and proper grammar. My feeling is that if someone doesn't take the time to write a coherent response, really, what is the probability that they'll take a relationship
I got one doozy of a response from a twice married man of two children, who could not spell to save his life. He assured me that his kids were different and that I'm a bitter old hag if I think otherwise, destined to die alone with a dozen cats at my side.
This guy was a loon. He wasn't attractive, wasn't the intellectual type I was seeking, and had kids. And two ex-wives. NEXT!
I informed him via email that he was outside of my dating
parameters. This wasn't good enough. He ended up having his 15 y/o daughter IM me and calling me all kinds of names in regard to what a bad person I was because I wouldn't date her dad.
. I contacted AOL and reported them via TOS. I never heard a peep again. Until.....
Last year (about four years after the above mentioned incident) a friend of mine lent me a dvd that another of her friends wanted to borrow. She told me who he was, and gave him my number so he could get directions to my house to get the movie. He calls, and I get subjected to the whiniest, nasally voice I've ever heard, with the sound of a mewling toddler in the background. Whatever. I give him directions and wait for the show.
He walks in, and for someone my age, he looked ten years older (I'm 35). He had on an outdated coat, with an outdated mustache and glasses to match. He also had a lovely muffin-top going on. I, on the other hand, was still in my size 6 skirt from work, and heels. DH sat on the couch, wearing his fleece hoodie.
I invite this yahoo in, offer him a drink, and we chat a bit, as we do have a friend in common.
As we're talking, he's telling me about his business, a dj/karaoke thing. Why does this sound so strangely familiar. Deja vu and all that. THen it hit me. I asked him if he ever had a personal ad on AOL. He said he did. I asked him the screenname, and lo and behold, it's Mr. Divorced with Kids!
I then ask him if he remembers *aolscreenname* and if it rings any bells. He stands up from his chair, points to me, and yells at me, "YOU WOULDN'T DATE GUYS WITH KIDS!" Dh pulls the strings to his hoodie, knowing that this is going to get ugly, but he lets me run with it. I'm a big girl and can handle this just fine.
I then went into the kitchen, where the last remaining printout copy of my absolutely fabulously written personal ad hung on the fridge. I bring it out to him, and ask if anything that I had written on my profile was misleading (like my age, weight, interests, etc. It was very truthfully written, if I say so myself). He agreed that he shouldn't have responded since he didn't fit the criteria. I gave him grief for having his daughter hassle me to the point that I had to contact AOL. The guy was truly shamed. He said, "But but but, I read your ad at the time, and you were soooo perfect for me, but but but but but, you wouldn't date men with kids!"
I replied that just because my profile seemed perfect for HIM, did not mean that he was what I was looking for. I mentioned his poor spelling, and he admitted he was a poor speller. I looked over to my wonderful, and quiet at the time, DH, and said, "HOney, why don't you tell Mr. GetaClue what you "do".:
He replies, dryly, "Uh, I'm a writer." (and my heart goes pitter patter!)
I then ask the guy what the deal is with the toddler I heard on the phone.
"Oh, she's my daughter I have with my girlfriend."
"OH, so, why aren't you guys married if you have a child?"
"Um, I've already been married twice, so I didn't want to go there again."
"Really. Wow. So she's good enough to have s*x with, and have your child, but not good enough to marry. Oh, yea, Mr. Divorced with Kids. I certainly missed out in life by turning you down. Yessirreebob!"
He made a quick exit, in which he forgot his coat and had to come back. I let him know that the chuckling he heard when he left was us laughing at him, not with him.
DH and I still laugh about this. What a marooon.