General Etiquette > Life...in general

To be honest or keep my mouth shut (***Suicide mentioned****)

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*inviteseller:
That is exactly what I told my DD.  I said it was ok to be mad at him and I explained to her that suicide is selfish because, while their pain is gone, ours in overwhelming.  She just goes day by day and we talk alot.

TurtleDove:

--- Quote from: *inviteseller on April 03, 2013, 05:11:19 PM ---That is exactly what I told my DD.  I said it was ok to be mad at him and I explained to her that suicide is selfish because, while their pain is gone, ours in overwhelming.  She just goes day by day and we talk alot.

--- End quote ---

Great insight. My husband killed himself a year and a half ago, leaving me a widow at age 37 with a young daughter.  All I would add to your approach above is that while everyone handles grief differently, for me, things got immensely better once I decided that while my pain and anger is legitimate, it does no one any good to allow it to destroy my present life.  I am still alive, and I intend to be happy living my life.  Happiness is a choice, and not at all linked to life's circumstances.  It does no good to try to figure out "why" he did what he did.  He did what he did because he was insane in that moment.  No circumstances or explanation would suffice and be that lightbulb of "aha! THAT'S why he killed himself!!!!"  Best wishes for everyone affected by this boy's selfish act.

*inviteseller:
((((((((((((TurtleDove)))))))))))).  She hasn't gotten to anger yet, she is still in that awful 'what could I have said/done" phase, but we have talked about the stages.  The sad part is, my ex husband, her father died exactly one month before her friend did this so she has layers of grief to work through.

gramma dishes:

--- Quote from: *inviteseller on April 03, 2013, 05:50:08 PM ---...    The sad part is, my ex husband, her father died exactly one month before her friend did this so she has layers of grief to work through.

--- End quote ---

Oh, wow.  She really got hit with a double whammy, didn't she?  Her Dad and one of her best friends so close together?  That would be difficult for any of us!

TurtleDove:
How awful - I am so sorry. I hope your DD soon realizes that there is nothing she could have done. Hugs for everyone.

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