General Etiquette > Life...in general

Could I please not deal with your secretary again?

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Library Dragon:
I'm glad everything finally went well.  I don't know if your parish has a follow up meeting/evaluation, but there may be an opportunity to share some of your frustration.  "It was a wonderful journey.  Some of the logistics were a bit frustrating...."

A constructive comment so that new members of the lock don't feel unwelcome.

Redsoil:
Glad it ended up going well for you!

camlan:
Congratulations! (I have a pretty good idea what the ritual was, having worked with people going through the ritual for several years.)

There probably will be some sort of follow-up, and I'd go with Library Dragon's suggestion--mention that there was a last minute paperwork confusion and suggest that things be done earlier next year, or that written instructions and lists of what's necessary be given out, or both.

If this is the ritual and religion I think it is, this is just paperwork. It should not be some kind of secret, hidden test. It would be appropriate to point out the issues you had with either the person who's been leading the program (unless that's the person who caused the problem in the first place), or the pastor.  The general goal is to remove obstacles, not put more in your way.

When my cousin's baby girl was being baptized, she wanted me to be godmother. A person at her church, not the pastor, decided out of the blue that because I lived 2 hours away, I was not fit to be a godparent. Godparents, after all, are supposed to take care of the children if anything happens to the parents. How could I do that if I lived "so far away?"

That took a week or so to sort out. I told my pastor, just checking to see if distance was a new requirement for godparenthood. After he stopped laughing, he wrote me a lovely letter to give to the pastor at the other church, and got the other two priests in the parish to do the same. I came about as highly qualified as possible after that, but people from my cousin's parish glared at me all through the baptism. I have never figured out why a low-level employee at that parish decided to institute a distance requirement for godparents. It certainly isn't one of the church's teachings.

TootsNYC:

--- Quote from: camlan on April 01, 2013, 07:22:25 AM ---
When my cousin's baby girl was being baptized, she wanted me to be godmother. A person at her church, not the pastor, decided out of the blue that because I lived 2 hours away, I was not fit to be a godparent. Godparents, after all, are supposed to take care of the children if anything happens to the parents. How could I do that if I lived "so far away?"

That took a week or so to sort out. I told my pastor, just checking to see if distance was a new requirement for godparenthood. After he stopped laughing, he wrote me a lovely letter to give to the pastor at the other church, and got the other two priests in the parish to do the same. I came about as highly qualified as possible after that, but people from my cousin's parish glared at me all through the baptism. I[b] have never figured out why a low-level employee at that parish decided to institute a distance requirement for godparents. It certainly isn't one of the church's teachings.[/b]

--- End quote ---

Neither is it part of the teachings that the godparent takes care of the children if anything happens to the parents! *Guardianship* is a legal decision made separately. An active godparent might become a strong candidate, in the absence of some other directive, but it's not the same thing.

camlan:

--- Quote from: TootsNYC on April 01, 2013, 02:58:37 PM ---
--- Quote from: camlan on April 01, 2013, 07:22:25 AM ---
When my cousin's baby girl was being baptized, she wanted me to be godmother. A person at her church, not the pastor, decided out of the blue that because I lived 2 hours away, I was not fit to be a godparent. Godparents, after all, are supposed to take care of the children if anything happens to the parents. How could I do that if I lived "so far away?"

That took a week or so to sort out. I told my pastor, just checking to see if distance was a new requirement for godparenthood. After he stopped laughing, he wrote me a lovely letter to give to the pastor at the other church, and got the other two priests in the parish to do the same. I came about as highly qualified as possible after that, but people from my cousin's parish glared at me all through the baptism. I[b] have never figured out why a low-level employee at that parish decided to institute a distance requirement for godparents. It certainly isn't one of the church's teachings.[/b]

--- End quote ---

Neither is it part of the teachings that the godparent takes care of the children if anything happens to the parents! *Guardianship* is a legal decision made separately. An active godparent might become a strong candidate, in the absence of some other directive, but it's not the same thing.

--- End quote ---

Oh, I agree.

The irony to the whole situation is that my poor cousin was on bed rest for the last three months of the pregnancy. I spent every other weekend at her house, so that her husband, who was self-employed at the time, could get some work done. Took care of her toddler, cooked, cleaned, did laundry, forced Cousin to stay lying down on the couch, just kept her company. As Dear Cousin said when arguing the matter with the church functionary, she could have lost the baby if I hadn't lived "close enough" to come over and help out.

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