For the record, I think your friend is gutless. It sounds like she's deliberately putting enough info on her Facebook (the changed status and the "Daddy" pics) for people to "figure it out" themselves. But at the same time, she's avoiding telling people outright. I suppose that's because telling people outright might lead to tricky conversations, which wouldn't paint her in a very good light.
It might not be rude (it is her Facebook page, after all, and she can do what she wants) but IMO, it's pretty gutless.
As posters have said, I wouldn't advise her on anything further re: Facebook.
The other issue is in regards to meeting her new boyfriend. My parents were recently in a similar situation. They were close friends with "Bob and Jane", who were married for 40 years. Bob had an affair with a much younger woman (scarcely older than his own daughter). He walked out on Jane to be with his mistress. He rang my parents, very excited, and told them that he'd left Jane, and moved in with his girlfriend. He wanted to bring her around to meet my parents.
My parents conferred with each other, and informed Bob that in the fullness of time, they'd be glad to meet his girlfriend. But not right away. They asked Bob to give them some time to adjust to the new situation - a couple of months at least.
Now, if Bob had thrown a hissy fit, and told them if they refused to immediately accept the new girlfriend, they wouldn't be seeing him either, my parents would NOT have stayed friends with Bob. As it happened, Bob said, "That's cool, I understand".
(All of this turned out to be a moot point anyway, as before the couple of months were up, Bob decided he wanted to stay married, and left his mistress to return to Jane.)
So my short answer is - you were NOT rude in asking your friend to give you some time, before meeting her new boyfriend. I think her response was unreasonable and rude.