Author Topic: leaving me with very little options a week before holidays....  (Read 10289 times)

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TootsNYC

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Re: leaving me with very little options a week before holidays....
« Reply #15 on: March 31, 2013, 09:15:06 PM »
Why would you think you don't have a right to be mad?

Someone you trusted told you -- repeatedly -- that they would do an important task for you. With little advance warning they have backed out of their promise and don't seem to care about the problems they are causing. 

I cannot fathom why a person would not be mad unless they have been trained to accept this behavior as normal and acceptable.

I wish you good luck in finding a dog sitter.


And not only that, but they didn't tell you until YOU called them!!


Danika

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Re: leaving me with very little options a week before holidays....
« Reply #16 on: March 31, 2013, 10:14:06 PM »
I cannot fathom why a person would not be mad unless they have been trained to accept this behavior as normal and acceptable.

This. A million times. They (mom and stepdad) are both to blame. It was highly inconsiderate. And they cannot blame it on a miscommunication because you asked numerous times.

I'd be furious. And I wouldn't trust them with anything they told me or promised me in the future. Not with dog-sitting. Not with where they'll drop you off or pick you up. Nothing.

chibichan

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Re: leaving me with very little options a week before holidays....
« Reply #17 on: April 01, 2013, 03:55:16 AM »
Nope , don't trust them for anything . I would not lift a finger to do these folks a favor and I would be hard-pressed to keep from throwing " Not my problem " back in their faces if they ever asked .

That is beyond inconsiderate . Can you imagine what would have happened if you blithely assumed they would honor their promise and showed up the day before you were scheduled to leave ? That would have been cause for the Cut Direct for me .

I would not have spoken another word to them after that .

Good luck with your plans , I really hope you can find someone .
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Otterpop

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Re: leaving me with very little options a week before holidays....
« Reply #18 on: April 01, 2013, 04:46:33 AM »
Nope , don't trust them for anything . I would not lift a finger to do these folks a favor and I would be hard-pressed to keep from throwing " Not my problem " back in their faces if they ever asked .

That is beyond inconsiderate . Can you imagine what would have happened if you blithely assumed they would honor their promise and showed up the day before you were scheduled to leave ? That would have been cause for the Cut Direct for me .

I would not have spoken another word to them after that .

Good luck with your plans , I really hope you can find someone .

This exactly.  Trust is a huge issue.  Don't rely on them for anything from now on.  Reciprocate in kind.

Iris

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Re: leaving me with very little options a week before holidays....
« Reply #19 on: April 01, 2013, 06:00:45 AM »
Why would you think you don't have a right to be mad?

Someone you trusted told you -- repeatedly -- that they would do an important task for you. With little advance warning they have backed out of their promise and don't seem to care about the problems they are causing. 

I cannot fathom why a person would not be mad unless they have been trained to accept this behavior as normal and acceptable.

I wish you good luck in finding a dog sitter.


And not only that, but they didn't tell you until YOU called them!!

This. What if you had turned up? Would they have left it until then?

Time to back waaaaaaay off, I think. Your stepfather sounds like a real jerk to be honest.
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Twik

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Re: leaving me with very little options a week before holidays....
« Reply #20 on: April 01, 2013, 11:06:12 AM »
Your stepfather has shown some classic passive-aggressive tactics. He's agreed at least twice to do you a favour, then backed out to cause you the most inconvenience possible. This is much worse than refusing a favour in the first place.

Do not rely on this man for any favours in future. For some reason, he doesn't like you, and is trying to hurt you in small ways. As others say, keep your distance.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

heartmug

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Re: leaving me with very little options a week before holidays....
« Reply #21 on: April 01, 2013, 12:21:00 PM »
Why would you think you don't have a right to be mad?

Someone you trusted told you -- repeatedly -- that they would do an important task for you. With little advance warning they have backed out of their promise and don't seem to care about the problems they are causing. 

I cannot fathom why a person would not be mad unless they have been trained to accept this behavior as normal and acceptable.

I wish you good luck in finding a dog sitter.


And not only that, but they didn't tell you until YOU called them!!

This. What if you had turned up? Would they have left it until then?

Time to back waaaaaaay off, I think. Your stepfather sounds like a real jerk to be honest.

I too was thinking the same thing:  when were they going to tell you?  If you hadn't made that call....

sounds a little like the thread I wrote about in the holidays section.  It would be nice to know instead of having to be the person asking.
One option in a tug of war with someone is just to drop the rope.

djinnidjream

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Re: leaving me with very little options a week before holidays....
« Reply #22 on: April 01, 2013, 12:40:24 PM »
I'd also remember this for when they need a pet-sitter... >:D
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RebeccainGA

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Re: leaving me with very little options a week before holidays....
« Reply #23 on: April 01, 2013, 01:26:44 PM »
Sounds like your family is like mine - don't trust them farther than you can throw them. They say they are going to send you a gift? Believe it when its delivered. They say they are coming for a visit? Believe it when they are at the door. Planning to visit them? Have a hotel reservation ready to go until you're shown your sleeping arrangements.

It's not always mean spirited, but some family just can't be responsible. Sounds like your has a mean streak, too, but that they are just plain unreliable.

So sorry, and good luck with finding a replacement!

CrazyDaffodilLady

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Re: leaving me with very little options a week before holidays....
« Reply #24 on: April 04, 2013, 05:47:50 PM »
I was once in a similar situation.  The for-hire pet setter came over for a walk-through two days before I was leaving, then announced that she wouldn't take the job because the neighborhood made her nervous (she saw some minorities).  I was furious and made that quite clear.  I also complained to the vet that gave me her name.  You should be equally as furious with your stepfather -- more so since he's family and should be more dependable than a stranger.

Sometimes if I'm driving to my destination, I reserve a kennel in the destination city and take the dog with me.  If it's the first time, I check the place out online.

It takes two people to play tug of war. If you don't want to play, don't pick up the rope.

Janice

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Re: leaving me with very little options a week before holidays....
« Reply #25 on: April 04, 2013, 05:55:44 PM »
As somebody whose family pulled a similar stunt on us, you absolutely have a right to be mad. I would make alternative arrangements and see if you can find a regular sitter or kennel on whom you can depend when you need to leave the dog. I find a business  or a professional sitter is MUCH less likely to mess with you like this than people doing a "favor".

And then resolve to never ask for favors from these people again. If they want a favor of any description  from you after this behavior, I would simply respond with "That won't be possible." What goes around comes around.

Good luck finding a pet sitter/kennel!

sammycat

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Re: leaving me with very little options a week before holidays....
« Reply #26 on: April 04, 2013, 07:48:49 PM »
Nope , don't trust them for anything . I would not lift a finger to do these folks a favor and I would be hard-pressed to keep from throwing " Not my problem " back in their faces if they ever asked .

That is beyond inconsiderate . Can you imagine what would have happened if you blithely assumed they would honor their promise and showed up the day before you were scheduled to leave ? That would have been cause for the Cut Direct for me .

I would not have spoken another word to them after that .

Good luck with your plans , I really hope you can find someone .

Ditto.

Miss Tickle

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Re: leaving me with very little options a week before holidays....
« Reply #27 on: April 04, 2013, 10:16:10 PM »
OP, is there any update?

Alynne1113

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Re: leaving me with very little options a week before holidays....
« Reply #28 on: April 06, 2013, 10:15:55 PM »
OP here--updating. Family friend has agreed to take my one dog (she offered when she heard the story) my mother & step father have not called me since the conversation and I havent called them either--dont really have anything to say right now. Leaving monday! Thanks for all the advice. Sometimes my family tells me I am overly sensitive or over react so I always approach my feelings towards them with caution!

Lindee

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Re: leaving me with very little options a week before holidays....
« Reply #29 on: April 06, 2013, 10:37:51 PM »
You are not overly sensitive and have every right to be really annoyed and upset over this appalling treatment.  Have a lovely trip and don't rely on them for anything again.