"I just thought you should know you're wife is out here spending your paycheck on shoes," he told DH.
This friend, of course, is a notorious cheapskate, who flips out anytime his wife makes a purchase he doesn't approve of.
Does his wife work or is it a case of "No wife of mine will ever work" so the can control the purse strings? I bet he longs for the days when all women have no say.
Oh, no, his wife works. I work, too, for that matter, but he doesn't see it as real work because I work from home. (He doesn't think I make any money at what I do, which is kind of funny since a lot of people grossly over
-estimate what I make.) So he thinks DH earns the majority of our income and therefore should determine how all funds are spent. He is the same way about his household's income. His wife earns a decent living, but he earns more so he thinks he should determine how the money is spent. I think it's a combination of factors:
1) He wants to feel in control because it makes him feel like "the man."
2) He doesn't want her to know how much he spends on stuff for himself, including tools, fishing equipment, and "big
3) If something isn't of direct use to him (i.e. clothes/shoes for the wife, clothes/shoes for the kids, decorations for the house, perfume or make-up for the wife, craft supplies) he doesn't consider it a necessary purchase, and therefore, something to be avoided or skimped on.
Her shoes or the kids' shoes?
"You couldn't have bought a cheaper pair at Walmart?"
Clothes for her or the kids?
"I don't remember us talking about buying you a new dress."
Make-up or perfume?
"You don't need all of that stuff."
Craft supplies or decorative stuff?
"Ugh, great, more %^& to clutter up our house."
From what I could tell when we were spending time together, the wife is not a shopaholic by any means. Unfortunately, his tactics work against her more often than not. She'd return the decorative stuff or the perfume or shoes she bought just to make herself feel good. (She's more resistant to returning stuff for the kids. If they need shoes and clothes, they keep them.) From some comments she's made, I get the impression that she grew up in a household where whatever the husband said was law and she thinks this is normal behavior.
DH slowly realized what a jerk this guy is a few years after we got married and he recognized the disparity in how friend treated his wife and DH treats me. He has all but written off the friendship except for the occasional call and facebook post for old time's sake. Or friend calling to tattle to my husband about yours truly, DH's shoe-fiend wife.
It was two pairs!!
Even though I grit my teeth at almost every word that comes out of this guy's mouth, I try to remember that if nothing else, he serves as a wonderful example of how NOT to treat one's wife. DH has learned a lot from him as an opposite role model.