Relentless Fund Raiding at Easter Dinner

[POF]

Easter was spent at Lake House Sally's and it was really fine. She was pretty organized, everyone had plenty to eat food was good. ( DH DID not bring our dog - as mentioned on another thread.

DH's brother and SIL were in from the other side of the country.  About 2 weeks ago before they came in - they left us a few facebook messages and a voice mail re: would we donate to charity walk that BIL is doing for his company.  We did not respond because we are not planning to donate: Our reasons

1) Our charitable contributions are spent in our community
2) We avoid high load events - where a lot of $ are spent on advertising and . the actual event
3) its not a charity that we have any ties to at all - although it is worthwhile ... just not something we ar einterested in
4) I've been involved in lots of fundraisers - from community events - to walkathoss - to sports. We may ask family memebers to sponsor - but only once and take no for an answer
5) They have never donated to any of my endeavors.

So - I was asked 4 times at Easter - well not really asked - I was told You need to donate. I bit my tongue and said - I'll look at it on your facebook page.  Martie - my SIL said several times ... Tom is walking in this charity walk and you guys are NOT leaving until you donate. Most of us just ignored her. She then got really snippy and refused to even say goodbye to me when we left.  If she hadn't been completely obnoxious I might have given her $20 - but really it got old.  I realized No thank you is a complete sentence and I used after my first deflection.

[gramma dishes]

... Tom is walking in this charity walk and you guys are NOT leaving until you donate.   ...

"ummm ... Watch us!"

Seriously, you can ignore this kind of badgering.  It's unfortunate, but this kind of attempt at guilt tripping and coercion does nothing to aid the charity and actually hurts their efforts in the long run.

But glad to hear that other than this little side event, your Easter at Lake House Sally's went well! 

[snowdragon]

... Tom is walking in this charity walk and you guys are NOT leaving until you donate.   ...

"ummm ... Watch us!"

That would have been my response. What was she going to do hold you hostage? She sounds like a real pip. 

[daen]

... Tom is walking in this charity walk and you guys are NOT leaving until you donate.   ...

"ummm ... Watch us!"

Nicely put. I don't take well to being told what I am or am not going to do.

(And may I just say that either the thread title is extremely clever or a very fortunate autocorrect/typo? She sounds like she could give Vikings tenacity lessons.)

[LifeOnPluto]

Yes, how exactly was your SIL planning on preventing you from leaving? Barricade the doors?

Her repeated demands for donations were obnoxious. If she'd just asked once, and accepted "no thanks" as an answer, she would have been fine.

[heartmug]

Your reasons were perfectly valid.  I don't think there was anything more you could have done.  I am sorry they had to ruin your day by baderging.

[bopper]

to BIL: "How much did you donate to my walk-a-thon? I would like to donate the same amount."

[gramma dishes]

to BIL: "How much did you donate to my walk-a-thon? I would like to donate the same amount."

 

Perfect.

[catrunning]

We have a couple of those in our office.    They want to raise money by running a marathon at an exotic location, and they sure do not take "no thank you" very well.

The cause itself is okay - but like OP, it is not one I personally support.    But what irks me is that the person raising the money gets their training, transportation, hotel and race entry fees "for free" if they raise a total of $3,500.   So no wonder they are so pushy.  From my calculations, at least half of that goes to cover the participant's expenses.     I don't know how others think of it, but it rubs me the wrong way.   I mean, what exactly does running an exotic marathon have to do with donating to a charity?   I just don't understand why people whom I hardly even know think it is appropriate to ask me to help pay for their exotic vacation, under the guise of "fund raising".

I just keep on saying "thank you, but I am not interested".       

[POF]

I remembered JADE

Justify, Argue, Defend and Explain.... nope, just said no.  DH says he is going to do 20 to keep the peace.  I felt we should do nothing because she was so
obnoxious.

[gramma dishes]

^^^  Remind him that now he will have taught her that that's what it takes to get him to contribute -- relentless badgering! 

I think it's a bad idea.  You already said "no" and he shouldn't override you without a very good reason.

[BeagleMommy]

Wow.  She's quite over the top isn't she?!

I'll tell you what I told the obnoxious charity organizer at work.  We had to fill out forms to have the money taken directly from our paychecks.  This organization is one that I have strong feelings against.  I filled out the form checking the box that said I chose not to donate.  Organizer had a reaction as though I had drop kicked kittens down the hallway.  I said "By definition, donation means voluntary.  Therefore, I am not obligated in any way to donate to any organization.".

[weeblewobble]

... Tom is walking in this charity walk and you guys are NOT leaving until you donate.   ...

"ummm ... Watch us!"

"I'm going to find it very entertaining to watch you try to stop me."

[POF]

^^^  Remind him that now he will have taught her that that's what it takes to get him to contribute -- relentless badgering! 

I think it's a bad idea.  You already said "no" and he shouldn't override you without a very good reason.

Well - he loves his brother and wanted to donate. So he did. SIL is such a troll though.  I wouldn't have given a dime.

[Lynn2000]

What I find interesting about these things is that if someone just vaguely and politely asks for donations face to face, it's really hard for me to decline, even if I kind of want to--that is, I'm much more likely to donate. But the instant they start getting pushy and obnoxious, bringing it up repeatedly, telling me I "can't" leave until I donate--that's when I dig in my heels and think, I am never giving you a cent, maybe not for anything, ever. Maybe this is just my stubborn personality. But they would have so much more success with me if they used a lighter touch, even if objectively, I didn't really want to donate. But them getting rude about it gives me the perfect excuse to say no, when otherwise I might have said yes.