My mother has been lecturing me about going out with my own friends with my BF, but lately this has come up whenever we meet "Ellen," my oldest and dearest friend.
Just to clarify, I'm not dragging him along to Girls night out, it's just the two of us meeting "Ellen" for dinner - and I got lectured even when it was Ellen who invited both of us!
(According to my mother, I shouldn't have told Ellen I'd ask BF about his work schedule and call her back, I should have made plans with her right there and then and if BF couldn't make it, too bad).
This week we're going to see Ellen again: it's not exactly a social call, we need her advice on Important Topic I Don't Want to Discuss with Mom Yet (Importat Topic for short).
Today I stopped at home to grab some clothes and ended up asking mother's advice about the bag I chose: when I said we're having dinner with Ellen, she immediately wanted to know whether BF is coming. Stupidly, I said he is, which immediately started her on her lecture/rant again.
I stopped her in her tracks by telling her that we both need to talk to Ellen, which was a mistake because now she wanted to know why: at first I replied not-too-gently that it was our business, then I lied and said we're thinking about organizing a sort trip somewhere together.
Mom snarkily asked if Ellen and I couldn't manage alone, I said that no, we couldn't and mercifully this was the end of the conversation.
I've thought that next time I should just ask her why she wants to know, but that's likely to end with her calling me out on my defensiveness or telling me I'm being rude and she was just curious...
Now that I think about it, she has done the lecture/rant thing before, specifically about what I'm doing/should do in my relationship with Dear Boyfriend. I pointed out that it was between BF and me, things worked fine for us and it was none of her business - again, I had to put my point rather forcefully.
Perhaps that's why now it's Same Thing, Different Topic...
Needless to say, in both cases her lectures/rants are neither appreciated nor wanted. Any advice on how to handle this?