General Etiquette > Family and Children

If/when to tell my inlaws: your not supervising your kids in our home is not OK

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LadyDyani:
Seconding the change of venue suggestion.  Can you have it in the yard?  Does your apartment complex have a party room you can book?

LadyL:
I suggest having the event outdoors or at a casual restaurant. Not worth the stress to have it in your home.

Kaypeep:
I think one adult per kid is kind of unreasonable.  They should be able to play by themselves with little supervision.  It sounds like your home is not conducive to such a visit though if you have breakables and a balcony.  I'd suggest an alternative meeting place.  Perhaps you could offer to bring brunch to your SIL's place, this way she doesn't have the hassle of packing up her kids and travelling to your place with her little army?  Maybe you can pick up your IL's too so your MIL doesn't have to drive, too?

bigfun:
Our building does have a party room, but it would be a lot of trouble to bring food down for only 7-8 folks and then we'd be back to square one, because they'd be running around a different room that I'd have to clean up and be liable for.

Other venues could include a restaurant with a patio or playground, but then it would cost more for me to host. A good idea though, and maybe the best option.

SIL lives 40 minutes away and I actually work later that day on the other side of town so driving there won't be an option for me.

My home doesn't have a lot of breakables, but a lot of issues I'd never think would come up. Like my nephew turns on a reading light for no reason and this light has a temperamental bulb that falls out sometimes, stuff like that. These kids cannot play by themselves.

To demonstrate the lack of "meeting of the minds", this is what happened in the past with our 19th floor balcony:

Nephew 1: "Can I go out there?"
Grandma: "No, that makes me nervous..."
SIL: "Well, it's OK..."
DH: "What if we had a buddy system where you have to hold an adult's hand?"
Everyone: "Good idea!"
--Kid goes out without holding a hand--
Me: "What about the buddy system?"
SIL: "It's OK, Grandpa's there..."

Kaypeep:

--- Quote from: bigfun on April 01, 2013, 04:56:53 PM ---Our building does have a party room, but it would be a lot of trouble to bring food down for only 7-8 folks and then we'd be back to square one, because they'd be running around a different room that I'd have to clean up and be liable for.

Other venues could include a restaurant with a patio or playground, but then it would cost more for me to host. A good idea though, and maybe the best option.

SIL lives 40 minutes away and I actually work later that day on the other side of town so driving there won't be an option for me.

My home doesn't have a lot of breakables, but a lot of issues I'd never think would come up. Like my nephew turns on a reading light for no reason and this light has a temperamental bulb that falls out sometimes, stuff like that. These kids cannot play by themselves.

To demonstrate the lack of "meeting of the minds", this is what happened in the past with our 19th floor balcony:

Nephew 1: "Can I go out there?"
Grandma: "No, that makes me nervous..."
SIL: "Well, it's OK..."
DH: "What if we had a buddy system where you have to hold an adult's hand?"
Everyone: "Good idea!"
--Kid goes out without holding a hand--
Me: "What about the buddy system?"
SIL: "It's OK, Grandpa's there..."

--- End quote ---

In light of this update, I'd suggest celebrating Mother's Day on a day other than MD if that day is problematic, but still find a plan where you get together someplace that is NOT your apartment. 

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