Author Topic: How do you order a martini?  (Read 3480 times)

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jpcher

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How do you order a martini?
« on: April 01, 2013, 07:50:18 PM »
Couldn't decide whether to put this in "Stupid Questions" or not, but thought it might be worthy of it's own thread simply because I don't know if I was being stupid or if my waiter was just clueless.

It's probably been 10 years since I've had a martini. I know that there are martini bars out there with all sorts of flavors.

I went to a piano bar with a friend the other night and decided to order a martini (seemed like a martini type of place ;))

Me: I'd like a martini, please.

Waiter: What kind would you like?

Me (somewhat unsure): A plain old fashioned martini? With onions instead of olives, please. (was I off base here? I remember cocktail onions served with martinis instead of olives.)

Waiter (looking a bit confused): So you would like an old fashioned with onions?

Me: No. I would like a plain old martini, please.

Waiter: Okaaay, what flavor would you like?

Me: You know, where you pour the vermouth over ice -- shaken, not stirred (still smiling, trying to make a joke) and serve it with gin.

Waiter: Okay, gotcha.


What I was served was a martini glass chock full of ice and I'm not sure if there was any gin or vermouth in it. No onion. No olive. I may as well have ordered a glass of ice water in a martini glass. ::)

To be honest, after wine with dinner and an after-dinner Irish coffee, I really didn't need a full-blown martini, so this sat just fine with me. Plus I really didn't want to be an overly fussy guest KWIM?


So . . . how do you order a martini? You know, with the 30-odd flavors on the menu when you want the plain old-fashioned regular straight up martini?

What did I do wrong here?

afbluebelle

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Re: How do you order a martini?
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2013, 08:02:28 PM »
You got Starbucks'd.

I imagine it is the same as when Denis Leary got all ticked trying to order a plain coffee at a Starbuck's. I'd order a Tangueray, dry, with extra olive. Or I'd order it dirty... if the bartender were cute ;D



Okay, in all honesty I would just get a chocolate martini. I like booze, and I like chocolate!
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jmarvellous

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Re: How do you order a martini?
« Reply #2 on: April 01, 2013, 08:15:46 PM »
If I get asked "what kind?" I change my drink order. I am really not a snob about much, but a martini is ice-cold gin and vermouth, perhaps with olives, onions or a twist. In my experience, places where the default when you just say "martini" is anything other than this are not going to make you a good martini!

There are surely exceptions, but if you order, "martini -- gin, wet, with onions" you should get what you want. I prefer mine with olives, not quite "dirty" (lots of olive juice). Wet/dry refers to whether there's much vermouth or not.

This link isn't perfect, but it does get to the heart of it:
http://porkandgin.com/drinks/dry-wet-5050-martinis/

Chocotinis or appletinis or whatever might be fine drinks, but their resemblance to a martini seems to end at the glass. Vodka martinis are OK if that's what you want, but I don't really think they're GOOD. I'd rather have vermouth and soda than vermouth and vodka, actually. What a refreshing beverage!

Sorry, like I said, this is one area where I'm a bit overly persnickety. A good martini is just such a good thing!

jpcher

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Re: How do you order a martini?
« Reply #3 on: April 01, 2013, 08:59:09 PM »
You got Starbucks'd.

LOL! And that's exactly why I don't go to Starbucks. I wouldn't know how to order a plain coffee with sugar!


Sorry, like I said, this is one area where I'm a bit overly persnickety. A good martini is just such a good thing!

No need to apologize! That's all I wanted, was a good martini. Sigh. (Thanks for your post, I'm not such a bad guy after all.)

afbluebelle

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Re: How do you order a martini?
« Reply #4 on: April 01, 2013, 09:03:20 PM »
You got Starbucks'd.

LOL! And that's exactly why I don't go to Starbucks. I wouldn't know how to order a plain coffee with sugar!


That I do know... order an Americano. Add an extra shot of espresso if you like your coffee strong  ;D
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jmarvellous

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Re: How do you order a martini?
« Reply #5 on: April 01, 2013, 09:32:56 PM »
You got Starbucks'd.

LOL! And that's exactly why I don't go to Starbucks. I wouldn't know how to order a plain coffee with sugar!


That I do know... order an Americano. Add an extra shot of espresso if you like your coffee strong  ;D

An Americano is espresso with hot water added. Order a tall coffee and add sugar at the counter if you just want coffee with sugar.

SiotehCat

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Re: How do you order a martini?
« Reply #6 on: April 01, 2013, 09:38:46 PM »
You got Starbucks'd.

LOL! And that's exactly why I don't go to Starbucks. I wouldn't know how to order a plain coffee with sugar!


That I do know... order an Americano. Add an extra shot of espresso if you like your coffee strong  ;D

An Americano is espresso with hot water added. Order a tall coffee and add sugar at the counter if you just want coffee with sugar.

This.

I have never understood the joke that its difficult to order a regular coffee at Starbucks. I buy my coffee from Starbucks several times a week and its never been anything weird or difficult.

Katana_Geldar

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Re: How do you order a martini?
« Reply #7 on: April 01, 2013, 09:42:55 PM »
I order a white lady. Classy and feminine at the same time. Taste like club soda.

Two oz of gin, one of Cointreau, one of lemon and half of sugar syrup. Shaken with ice, double strained and with a lemon twist.

diesel_darlin

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Re: How do you order a martini?
« Reply #8 on: April 01, 2013, 10:17:01 PM »
Shaken, not stirred.




Somebody had to.  ;D

CharlieBraun

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Re: How do you order a martini?
« Reply #9 on: April 01, 2013, 10:24:05 PM »
vodka martini

straight up (no ice)

olives (four)

The only question there is, what brand of vodka.

The olives are for the vegetable content.
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gramma dishes

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Re: How do you order a martini?
« Reply #10 on: April 01, 2013, 10:29:54 PM »
I don't drink any alcohol at all other than wine (but lots of wine  ;D) and a couple of after dinner drinks (like B&B), but my husband orders like this:  "Beefeater martini on the rocks with a twist".  He says he names the specific alcohol first (or they'll use the cheapest version they've got) and then the drink type (martini) and then any accessories (twists, olives, onions, etc.).

Slartibartfast

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Re: How do you order a martini?
« Reply #11 on: April 01, 2013, 10:34:23 PM »
Me ordering in general: "Yeah, something from the bar sounds good!  I don't know what I like; I don't drink much . . . something girly, maybe?  I don't really care as long as it's pink or fruity and doesn't taste too much like alcohol.  Surprise me."

So far I've never had anything I didn't like  ;D  (To be fair, "so far" is the three or four times in ten years that I've ever actually ordered alcohol, so it's not a long track record . . .)

WillyNilly

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Re: How do you order a martini?
« Reply #12 on: April 01, 2013, 10:37:39 PM »
There are two kinds of martinis: gin or vodka. They are never served with ice! (Nor should they be shaken, at least not much, lest you bruise the vermouth). They can be garnished with olive, onion or lemon peel.

Your bartender should have been taken out back and drawn and quartered for what you got!

Next time ask for "a gin martini, straight up, with onion". If the waiter questions that ask for a manager, its seriously *not* ok for a cocktail waitperson or a bartender to not know the basics. A martini is like a burger - sure there are some variations, and some hot sandwiches that look like burgers that aren't actually burgers, but a line cook needs to know the original!

jayhawk

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Re: How do you order a martini?
« Reply #13 on: April 01, 2013, 10:39:17 PM »
Vodka martini with those yummy stuffed olives. I don't know much about vodka, just so it's not too rot gut.

MummySweet

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Re: How do you order a martini?
« Reply #14 on: April 01, 2013, 11:17:58 PM »
There are two kinds of martinis: gin or vodka. They are never served with ice! (Nor should they be shaken, at least not much, lest you bruise the vermouth). They can be garnished with olive, onion or lemon peel.

Your bartender should have been taken out back and drawn and quartered for what you got!

Next time ask for "a gin martini, straight up, with onion". If the waiter questions that ask for a manager, its seriously *not* ok for a cocktail waitperson or a bartender to not know the basics. A martini is like a burger - sure there are some variations, and some hot sandwiches that look like burgers that aren't actually burgers, but a line cook needs to know the original!

This!   (bolding is mine)

I order mine "very dry, dirty."