How do you order a martini?

[mrs_deb]

I ask for "a Tanqueray martini, straight up, ice back, multiple olives".

What is "ice back?"

The bartender puts the ice s/he used to chill the martini into a small rocks glass and gives it to me alongside the martini.  I either sip the resulting water or, if I'm drinking too slowly and the martini gets warm  , I put a piece of the ice in and slosh it around to chill it back down.

[Library Dragon]

I like my gin & tonics, but also a vodka martini.

My first question is what type of vodka is abailable.  Chopin is preferred or another good potato vodka.  So, the immediate default to Grey Goose for most waiters is out. 

Dry, shaken, with washed olives.  Yes, I like it squeaky clean. 

I used to drink gin fizzes and had to send back many slo gin fizzes because the waiter or bartender didn't listen even after repeating. 

[lowspark]

What I would have done would be to ask for the drink menu. Places which serve a lot of foo-foo martinis are bound to have one. And usually, the first item, right at the top of the list, is a regular ol' normal gin & vermouth martini. So if you'd been able to obtain a drink menu, 99% chance you could have just pointed to the top item and said, "martini". I then would have flashed a smile and possibly made a comment regarding how it might behoove the waiter to learn what's on his menu. After I'd had a martini or two, that is. 

There was a menu on the table and I was looking at it and could not find a plain old fashioned martini. That's why I ordered it the way I did.

Wow. Ok. well, in that case, I'd say there's almost no hope of getting what you actually want, a normal ol' regular ol' real martini. No wonder the waiter didn't get it.

[Spring Water on Sundays]

What I would have done would be to ask for the drink menu. Places which serve a lot of foo-foo martinis are bound to have one. And usually, the first item, right at the top of the list, is a regular ol' normal gin & vermouth martini. So if you'd been able to obtain a drink menu, 99% chance you could have just pointed to the top item and said, "martini". I then would have flashed a smile and possibly made a comment regarding how it might behoove the waiter to learn what's on his menu. After I'd had a martini or two, that is. 

There was a menu on the table and I was looking at it and could not find a plain old fashioned martini. That's why I ordered it the way I did.

Wow. Ok. well, in that case, I'd say there's almost no hope of getting what you actually want, a normal ol' regular ol' real martini. No wonder the waiter didn't get it.

I've seen this quite a few times, too. The menu lists chocolate martinis and fruity martinis and vodka martinis with blue cheese stuffed olives, but no normal gin martini!

[Thipu1]

There's an apocryphal story about the dryest martini ever, made during an aboveground nuclear test:

A bottle of vermouth was placed at Ground Zero. When the bomb went off, someone held up a glass of gin.

There's a similar story about the 'physicist's martini'.  Gin or vodka is properly chilled and poured into a glass.  The martini is perfect so long as the vermouth exists somewhere in the bar.

[lilfox]

Mmm, I love all the frou frou martinis specialty cocktails served in a martini glass. I don't want to taste much alcohol except to know that there is some (and I'm not paying for juice with a dash of liquor).  I especially like the rarer ones, like strawberry shortcake or key lime martini.

My problem is not knowing what to order for happy hours when "well drinks" are discounted but specialty cocktails aren't (or not as much).  There's never a list of "well drinks" like a standard martini or ... whatever else people order.  At one place I ordered a vodka Citron and soda, thinking that was a well drink - it was definitely not priced as such, I found out later.  Are things like sidecars and old fashioneds and Manhattans considered well drinks or specialty?

Sadly, I have a handful of bartending books so I feel like I should know this, but since I usually order wine it doesn't come up often enough to keep a bar drink in mind.

[Hmmmmm]

^
Well drinks are items that can be made with house brands of bourbon, vodka, scotch....

I think the problem with your vodka citron and soda is that there isn't normally a house brand vodka citron. I think it is Absolut that makes a Citron vodka.

Once you name the brand of alchohol used, you've now moved into a "Call" drink instead of a "Well" drink.

If you'd asked for a vodka and soda with a twist of lemon, it probably would have been a well drink and they would have used their house vodka to make it.

Some places limit "well" drinks to things that can be made simply with only one type of alcohol ... gin & tonic, scotch & soda, bourbon & water, or vodka & OJ type things. Others might include a Manhattan, which is made with rye whisky, sweet vermouth and bitters. But I'd ask first.   

[Spring Water on Sundays]

Mmm, I love all the frou frou martinis specialty cocktails served in a martini glass. I don't want to taste much alcohol except to know that there is some (and I'm not paying for juice with a dash of liquor).  I especially like the rarer ones, like strawberry shortcake or key lime martini.

My problem is not knowing what to order for happy hours when "well drinks" are discounted but specialty cocktails aren't (or not as much).  There's never a list of "well drinks" like a standard martini or ... whatever else people order.  At one place I ordered a vodka Citron and soda, thinking that was a well drink - it was definitely not priced as such, I found out later.  Are things like sidecars and old fashioneds and Manhattans considered well drinks or specialty?

Sadly, I have a handful of bartending books so I feel like I should know this, but since I usually order wine it doesn't come up often enough to keep a bar drink in mind.

I love them, too! I just sort of resent that their popularity has made ordering a real martini so difficult and confusing. I do admit, though, that every cocktail is sexier in a martini glass, so I can see the appeal of such mislabeling.

[AuntieA]

"Vodka Gibson, straight up"

I ran into a bartender at a fancy expensive resort in Banff a couple of years ago. We like to stop in there for a drink so we can visit Cedric, the buffalo head mounted above the fireplace in the lobby bar. Said (young) bartender looked at me like I'd asked for a Pu235 drink, so I had to explain. "That's a plain martini but made with vodka rather than gin, and garnished with a pickled onion rather than an olive." He still looked totally lost, but at least the server knew what a plain martini was. No pickled onions, though, so I fed the olive to BF.

[WillyNilly]

Lilfox - "well drinks" generally refer to the alcohols in the well, aka the speed rack. These are house liquors (non name brands, or budget brands). There are tiers of alcohol - well, bottom shelf and top shelf, with the latter two physically located behind the bartender, the well or speed rack bottles located in a lower rack in front of them, for quick and easy access. So if you can see the bottle behind the bartender, its not a well bottle. Often juices are also kept in the well, if not in the gun.

To order a well drink, you are limited to the bare basics: (usually) rum, whiskey, vodka, tequila, and gin. No fancy flavor variations like citrus vodka, or pineapple rum, just plain ole vodka, plain ole rum. And they aren't ordered by brand, just by type.

vodka & orange juice = well drink
Grey Goose & orange juice = NOT a well drink

whiskey sour = well drink
Chivas sour = NOT a well drink

rum & Coke - well drink
Captain Morgan's & coke = NOT a well drink

gin & tonic = well drink
Tanqueray & tonic = not a well drink

etc, etc, etc

Some places will allow well cocktails, like a tequila sunrise, or a martini, but its still going to be made with the speed rack liquors not some fancy 100% blue agave tequila or a top notch gin or vodka. But for the most part the point is the drinks are reduced price because they are quick and easy to make as well as using only basic ingredients.

[Katana_Geldar]

A good bartender worth his salt will know how to make you a standard martini and make it if you have any specifications. And if the drink is a little unheard of but still uses standard ingredients, they should be able to follow directions.

A martini isn't that hard to make if you have the right ingredients and tools. Just make sure you have on hand gin, vodka, vermouth, Cointreau, bitters and sugar syrup as well as a cocktail shaker (Boston shaker is best), cocktail jigger, cocktail spoon, cocktail strainer, small fine mesh strainer (necessary as martinis should be double strained) as well as cocktail sticks and garnish stuff.

And if you work out your favourite drink its much easier to tell a bartender how to make it in a bar. And single ladies, it's not a bad way to be friendly with the bartender.

Our favourite bartender on Royal Carribean Cruises said as a point if pride they didn't use house spirits. He uses different gin for different drinks. A gin and tonic was sapphire, a martini was Hendricks. He even had Lillet so he could make a Vesper the way Ian Fleming intended.

[Cat-Fu]

A martini with Hendricks? I've been told that it's sacrilege when I get those! (Not that it stops me.)

[Katana_Geldar]

Why? Is it that good? Too good for a martini?

[NyaChan]

I went to a Martini Bar during my cruise and ordered "a drink" which is essentially 6 mini "martinis" to show their best drinks.  The actual martini was called a "Classic" and is what I would want if I went to the bar and asked for a martini.  The rest were pretty much just really good cocktails in martini glasses - NONE had ice in them! lol

[WillyNilly]

...A martini isn't that hard to make if you have the right ingredients and tools. Just make sure you have on hand gin, vodka, vermouth, Cointreau, bitters and sugar syrup as well as a cocktail shaker (Boston shaker is best), cocktail jigger, cocktail spoon, cocktail strainer, small fine mesh strainer (necessary as martinis should be double strained) as well as cocktail sticks and garnish stuff...

I'm all for having a well stocked and equipped bar, but really you do not need most of this stuff to make an awesome martini.
All you need is gin or vodka (to preference), vermouth, ice, a mixing glass and a serving glass, a strainer and either a spoon (any spoon will work) to mix or a mixing cup (to fit over the mixing glass), and a garnish to taste.

No Cointreau, bitters, sugar syrup, cocktail jigger, or cocktail sticks required. In fact I can't even figure out how those first three work into a standard martini to begin with...