Miss Manners on strapless wedding dresses

[JeanFromBNA]

Ok, I can stop all this "strapless" vs "not strapless" in a church conflict. Neither one is inappropriate attire ONCE YOU'VE WORN A SHOWER CURTAIN IN A CHURCH WEDDING!

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=42997.msg1009198#msg1009198

See Reply #6

'Nuf said!

Pictures or it didn't happen!

[Emmy]

I would have had such a blast at your wedding! And your dress is lovely. I read on a wedding dress personality quiz that wearing a halter dress meant that you were a practical person. Mine will need quite a bit more coverage than that, though.

Heh. Well, I am practical. I think. And I had a blast, I know a lot of our guests had a blast, but of course we had a few older people who thought the wedding was just all wrong. My MIL was insistent that I had to have pearls, because... I don't know, tradition. I said heck no, pearls are oyster loogies. Some people thought it was not OK that my dress had color, because I was a first time bride. An older woman thought it was just scandalous that I didn't have a veil. I think older people will always be like that though...I'm sure in 30 years when my kids are getting married I'll be all annoyed because they're wearing animal skins and riding segways.

Your wedding looked fun.  It just goes to show you can't please everybody and shouldn't try.  If a bride has a traditional wedding, there will be naysayers who roll their eyes and call it 'boring' and 'cookie-cutter'.   If a couple does something unique, there are sure to be some comments on how it is all wrong. 

I went to a wedding a few years ago and the bride wore a strapless dress and looked lovely in it.  There was an older woman at my table who would not stop talking about the strapless dress and how inappropriate she thought it was.  She mentioned when her DD got married in 83, the dress had sleeves and why couldn't the bride wear a dress like that.  I guess she hadn't been to a wedding in a while and didn't keep up with current wedding styles. 

[rose red]

Speaking of pearls.  There's a superstition that it's bad luck to wear pearls on your wedding day because pearls represent tears.  Yet pearls seem to be the wedding jewelry for how many years now?  Things and fashion change.  Doesn't mean it's disrespectful or inappropriate.

[ladyknight1]

I was blessed to be given a strand of pearls that my late grandfather had given my mother on her wedding day. I wore them on my wedding day (in the picture up thread) and still do. We will celebrate 19 years together in July and our 16th wedding anniversary in October.

I am not at all superstitious.

[Katana_Geldar]

Speaking of pearls.  There's a superstition that it's bad luck to wear pearls on your wedding day because pearls represent tears.  Yet pearls seem to be the wedding jewelry for how many years now?  Things and fashion change.  Doesn't mean it's disrespectful or inappropriate.

Tears can be for joy as well as sadness.

[booklover03]

Speaking of pearls.  There's a superstition that it's bad luck to wear pearls on your wedding day because pearls represent tears.  Yet pearls seem to be the wedding jewelry for how many years now?  Things and fashion change.  Doesn't mean it's disrespectful or inappropriate.

Well, dang, I broke all the rules apparently, lol. I had a strapless wedding dress and my mom bought me a pearl drop necklace to wear on my wedding day and dh bought the matching ear rings  .

[cattlekid]

That is surprising to me because if we are ever caught without sleeves (wedding or no wedding!) in our Serbian Orthodox church, we are lectured on how we are going to hell and taking anyone who sees us with us.  And this is all Serbian Orthodox churches in our area, not just one or two. 

Goes to show that even within the same religion, there can be differences!

I just remembered that the bridesmaids in my parent's wedding in 76 wore halter dresses, held in a Catholic church. My bf was a bridesmaid in her sister's wedding, also in a halter top and that was in a Greek Orthodox church.

[LilacRosey]

I think my soon to be sister in law is looking at a strapless dress but my other sister in law wore one with spagetti straps., LilacRosey

[whiterose]

I am ordering my wedding dress online because I do not want interference from anyone! I already know which one I want. It is very very reasonably priced. I would rather spend the money on a honeymoon.

Anyhow, regarding yesterday's two weddings:

- first bride wore a dress that may have technically been strapless or had spaghetti straps, BUT she wore a short-sleeved bolero jacket on top of it the entire time. She looked marvelous. The cake topper featured Spock and Uhura (in their Star Trek uniforms). The groom wore a suit with a blue striped tie. Not sure yet what the wedding party wore.

- second bride seems to have worn a strapless dress. She can pull one off.

[Thipu1]

Speaking of pearls.  There's a superstition that it's bad luck to wear pearls on your wedding day because pearls represent tears.  Yet pearls seem to be the wedding jewelry for how many years now?  Things and fashion change.  Doesn't mean it's disrespectful or inappropriate.

At our Wedding I wore a string of pearls given to me by my ILs.  They had been in her family for several generations.  We've had a few tears over the years but nothing that was devastating so I don't believe that superstition.

I still wear them for formal occasions. 

[lady_disdain]

Pearls are also a symbol of purity, which makes them "appropriate" for brides.

[jmarvellous]

I will be wearing pearl drop earrings and a pearl bracelet to my wedding with a dress with a faux pearl and crystal neckline.

I heard that thing about pearls symbolizing tears and decided (a) I don't care, (b) if I cry it'll be happy tears, and (c) how convenient! I bought embroidered monogram handkerchiefs for me, my fiance, and our parents for the wedding, which I plan to give out the night before. If there are tears, they'll be dabbed at in style!

[ClaireC79]

I thought it was opals that were meant to be unlucky as wedding jewellery

[Cami]

Eh, there's always someone with a negative opinion.

On my wedding day, as I came in the church, my MIL informed me that my wedding gown was "not really a wedding gown."

I just rolled my eyes at her and said, "Really. It's white, and long, and has a train. I"m certainly not going to wear it anywhere BUT my own wedding. So do tell. What's not wedding about it?"

"It doesn't have any pearls or sequins or lace! ALL wedding gowns have pearls or sequins or lace!"

"Really. My mother's wedding gown had none. And as I recall having seen YOUR mother's wedding gown, it had no pearls or sequins or lace."

Cue my FIL snickering and then (for once) coming to my defense and saying, "Dear, she's right. It's white and long and has a train. It's a wedding gown. It might not be your idea of the perfect gown but you're not wearing it or paying for it. So keep your opinions to yourself."

I think that's advice Miss Manners should take.

[ladyknight1]

Wow, my dress wasn't a wedding dress either, if you use those standards.