Author Topic: Miss Manners on strapless wedding dresses  (Read 28543 times)

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MerryCat

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Re: Miss Manners on strapless wedding dresses
« Reply #180 on: April 07, 2013, 11:05:15 PM »
I do wonder what she would have thought of my wedding dress. It had sleeves but the midriff was bare. It did have beading and embroidery though.

kareng57

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Re: Miss Manners on strapless wedding dresses
« Reply #181 on: April 07, 2013, 11:54:07 PM »
Eh, there's always someone with a negative opinion.

On my wedding day, as I came in the church, my MIL informed me that my wedding gown was "not really a wedding gown."

I just rolled my eyes at her and said, "Really. It's white, and long, and has a train. I"m certainly not going to wear it anywhere BUT my own wedding. So do tell. What's not wedding about it?"

"It doesn't have any pearls or sequins or lace! ALL wedding gowns have pearls or sequins or lace!"

"Really. My mother's wedding gown had none. And as I recall having seen YOUR mother's wedding gown, it had no pearls or sequins or lace."

Cue my FIL snickering and then (for once) coming to my defense and saying, "Dear, she's right. It's white and long and has a train. It's a wedding gown. It might not be your idea of the perfect gown but you're not wearing it or paying for it. So keep your opinions to yourself."

I think that's advice Miss Manners should take.


Then Princess Margaret's wedding dress (from 1960 I believe) would not have qualified either.

I think it was absolutely stunning.  It was very simple - mainly tulle without ruffles, lace or a lot of other embellishments.  Likely, a lot of the design was due to her very short stature - only about 5 feet I think, even shorter than her mother.  Lots of below-waist embellishments can make a petite bride appear shorter than she actually is.

Spring Water on Sundays

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Re: Miss Manners on strapless wedding dresses
« Reply #182 on: April 08, 2013, 09:18:39 AM »
Eh, there's always someone with a negative opinion.

On my wedding day, as I came in the church, my MIL informed me that my wedding gown was "not really a wedding gown."

I just rolled my eyes at her and said, "Really. It's white, and long, and has a train. I"m certainly not going to wear it anywhere BUT my own wedding. So do tell. What's not wedding about it?"

"It doesn't have any pearls or sequins or lace! ALL wedding gowns have pearls or sequins or lace!"

"Really. My mother's wedding gown had none. And as I recall having seen YOUR mother's wedding gown, it had no pearls or sequins or lace."

Cue my FIL snickering and then (for once) coming to my defense and saying, "Dear, she's right. It's white and long and has a train. It's a wedding gown. It might not be your idea of the perfect gown but you're not wearing it or paying for it. So keep your opinions to yourself."

I think that's advice Miss Manners should take.

Um....even if MIL was right (she wasn't, that's completely ridiculous!) what benefit did she think telling you this at the church immediately before your wedding would have? What in the world did she expect you to do at that point??

Calistoga

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Re: Miss Manners on strapless wedding dresses
« Reply #183 on: April 08, 2013, 02:21:41 PM »
What about feathers? I do declare, a wedding dress isn't a wedding dress without feathers!

ettiquit

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Re: Miss Manners on strapless wedding dresses
« Reply #184 on: April 08, 2013, 03:26:14 PM »
I wonder what those more etiquettely advanced than me would have to say about the dress I will wear to my religious ceremony next month? It's not a tube top, but I am not certain you'd call the neckline conservative. FWIW, it was sold (for a very reasonable 60% off, $78) as a halter:



I know this was posted several pages ago, but wanted to tell you that I think this is absolutely gorgeous.

jmarvellous

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Re: Miss Manners on strapless wedding dresses
« Reply #185 on: April 08, 2013, 04:07:15 PM »
Thanks! I am sooo excited to wear it (wedding is in a little over a month!) -- the chiffon overlay fabric is super breezy and light.

(In another tearing-down of traditions we don't particularly care about, incidentally, my fiance actually picked it out from a pool of my top 4 after my first online dress order didn't work out -- sleeveless is cool, but I draw the line at completely translucent!)

Henry M

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Re: Miss Manners on strapless wedding dresses
« Reply #186 on: July 02, 2013, 04:42:21 AM »


I walked down the aisle to the theme from "The Inner Light", which is a Star Trek: The Next Generation episode. We didn't go into debt for our wedding, and I bought my dress for $100 at the JC Penney outlet in Atlanta.

A wedding is what you make it, regardless of straps and sleeves, or type of ceremony.

I am a huge fan of Star Trek.. I loved every episode of it. the dress of yours if very beautiful.

Pen^2

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Re: Miss Manners on strapless wedding dresses
« Reply #187 on: July 02, 2013, 06:41:27 AM »


I walked down the aisle to the theme from "The Inner Light", which is a Star Trek: The Next Generation episode. We didn't go into debt for our wedding, and I bought my dress for $100 at the JC Penney outlet in Atlanta.

A wedding is what you make it, regardless of straps and sleeves, or type of ceremony.

I am a huge fan of Star Trek.. I loved every episode of it. the dress of yours if very beautiful.

I love that episode also. It's the only Star Trek one to make me cry. Absolutely beautiful, and very appropriate to a celebration of choosing to spend your life with someone. I bought a DVD of the entire TNG fifth season just to be able to watch that one episode. If the music and that photo are any clue, your wedding must have been really lovely.

And yes, a wedding really is what you make it. If you want to wear a bikini and get married on the beach while doing the chicken dance, go for it. Obviously, wear clothes that are appropriate to the venue, so maybe not a bikini in a church (unless it's a very singular church), but if it's at the same standard as your Sunday best, then you're fine. You don't have to wear white, or have a diamond, or have a priest, or spend twenty thousand dollars. It's a celebration, so do it in a way that is celebratory to you.

The most expensive part of DH and my wedding was the booking fee for the registry office. DH wore his suit and I wore a white sun dress (I think it was about $30). We had two close friends as our witnesses, and that was it. We just wanted to be married, we didn't really want to spend money on a big embarrassing event. We both felt it was a rather intimate occasion and didn't feel comfortable with dozens of people watching. So there were only 5 people (minimum to make it legal) in the room. The lady who married us was really nice throughout the whole thing, which really added to the pleasant mood. Then we went out to our favourite place to eat afterwards--cheap and with hilariously bad service, but the food is fantastic. We looked quite odd, sitting in the middle of a dingy eatery wearing our suits and everything. All the other patrons had flip-flops and jeans. It was lots of fun.

Cami

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Re: Miss Manners on strapless wedding dresses
« Reply #188 on: July 02, 2013, 07:51:45 AM »
Eh, there's always someone with a negative opinion.

On my wedding day, as I came in the church, my MIL informed me that my wedding gown was "not really a wedding gown."

I just rolled my eyes at her and said, "Really. It's white, and long, and has a train. I"m certainly not going to wear it anywhere BUT my own wedding. So do tell. What's not wedding about it?"

"It doesn't have any pearls or sequins or lace! ALL wedding gowns have pearls or sequins or lace!"

"Really. My mother's wedding gown had none. And as I recall having seen YOUR mother's wedding gown, it had no pearls or sequins or lace."

Cue my FIL snickering and then (for once) coming to my defense and saying, "Dear, she's right. It's white and long and has a train. It's a wedding gown. It might not be your idea of the perfect gown but you're not wearing it or paying for it. So keep your opinions to yourself."

I think that's advice Miss Manners should take.

Um....even if MIL was right (she wasn't, that's completely ridiculous!) what benefit did she think telling you this at the church immediately before your wedding would have? What in the world did she expect you to do at that point??
It took me a while to understand what sort of person my MIL was and what she wanted. I didn't get it then, but I eventually realized: She didn't expect me to do anything to change. She just wanted to make me feel bad and hopefully ruin my day. That's the lovely sort of sociopath she was. She actively sought out ways to ruin people's important life moments and enjoyed seeing other people's pain. (As another example, on the day of my daughter's christening shortly after the birth, she told me I was now fat and would always be fat and my husband -- her son -- would now leave me.)
« Last Edit: July 02, 2013, 07:53:31 AM by Cami »

ladyknight1

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Re: Miss Manners on strapless wedding dresses
« Reply #189 on: July 02, 2013, 08:28:23 AM »
Thank you all! At the time, there was a JC Penney outlet in Atlanta. I bought the dress and crinoline there for $100 and then made my veil. It is a special day forever for us and we are celebrating year 16 in October!

K_Bear

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Re: Miss Manners on strapless wedding dresses
« Reply #190 on: July 02, 2013, 11:55:57 AM »
My gown was strapless, but actually fairly modest. OK, my shoulders were not covered, but my chest was due to the cut of the dress. Straight across, covering my chest.

I WANTED a dress with with straps and sleeves. Most with sleeves/straps that I tried on were actually lower cut and exposed more than the strapless ones I tried on. Now I don't really have a problem showing a little skin, I wanted straps because I thought I wouldn't be comfortable in a strapless. But the straps and sleeves made me look shorter than I already am. Was surprised how flattering the strapless dresses were to my figure. And I had no veil, kinda silly at my age when my teenage daughters were some of my bridesmaids. :P My dress was also not white-I had the ivory over gold version of this dress:

http://www.maggiesottero.com/dress.aspx?style=S5229 (Obviously not me.)

I understand in some certain religions strapless is not appropriate. Not everyone HAS a religious ceremony in a place of worship. Or in a place of worship that has such restrictions. We got married on a boat, by the captain of the boat. With the shortest ceremony ever-5 minutes long for the vows and talky talky part. And was a low-key party and hopefully fun for our guests, just what we wanted, and suits our personalities.

SamiHami

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Re: Miss Manners on strapless wedding dresses
« Reply #191 on: July 02, 2013, 01:12:03 PM »
My goodness, a lot of people are assigning a lot of ugly assumptions to me for simply having a different opinion than them! Yikes! Yes, I dislike strapless gowns. Yes, I think that they are disrespectful in church, as I stated in my post previously. I'm also pretty darn sure I never said anything evil or hateful about brides who disagree with me. It's just my opinion, which I am pretty sure I'm allowed to express. I also don't recall stating that everyone must agree with me. However, it sure does seem like I'm being villianized for not sharing the same opinion as some of the posters here.

Well, all I can say to that is that we are all different people and we all have different opinions and tastes about things. That doesn't make one person right and another person wrong necessarily. What is wrong is putting words in my mouth or assuming some sort of evil, hate-filled intent on my part (didn't someone say my hatred was "palpable?" What absolute and utter nonsense). No one should be so insecure in their own opinions that they can't bear the idea that someone might think differently.

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Yvaine

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Re: Miss Manners on strapless wedding dresses
« Reply #192 on: July 02, 2013, 01:20:34 PM »
My goodness, a lot of people are assigning a lot of ugly assumptions to me for simply having a different opinion than them! Yikes! Yes, I dislike strapless gowns. Yes, I think that they are disrespectful in church, as I stated in my post previously. I'm also pretty darn sure I never said anything evil or hateful about brides who disagree with me. It's just my opinion, which I am pretty sure I'm allowed to express. I also don't recall stating that everyone must agree with me. However, it sure does seem like I'm being villianized for not sharing the same opinion as some of the posters here.

Well, all I can say to that is that we are all different people and we all have different opinions and tastes about things. That doesn't make one person right and another person wrong necessarily. What is wrong is putting words in my mouth or assuming some sort of evil, hate-filled intent on my part (didn't someone say my hatred was "palpable?" What absolute and utter nonsense). No one should be so insecure in their own opinions that they can't bear the idea that someone might think differently.

 ??? ??? ??? This post is from months ago, and I don't think anyone has brought up any of your arguments since the resurrection of it.

lurkerwisp

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Re: Miss Manners on strapless wedding dresses
« Reply #193 on: July 02, 2013, 02:30:51 PM »
Thank you all! At the time, there was a JC Penney outlet in Atlanta. I bought the dress and crinoline there for $100 and then made my veil. It is a special day forever for us and we are celebrating year 16 in October!

Congratulations! :D

emwithme

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Re: Miss Manners on strapless wedding dresses
« Reply #194 on: July 02, 2013, 05:03:45 PM »
Miss Manners would be apoplectic about my dress then  >:D

Not only was it strapless but it was *gasp* red!!!  (I have since realised that my Grandma had 17 grandchildren; 4 of us have had "red brides" at our weddings)

I felt totally gorgeous and beautiful and wonderful.  I looked washed out in all the white/ivory/cream dresses I tried on.  It was also a bargain - 80 from eBay for the dress and the same for alterations (due to weight loss).

However, DH and I didn't have the most traditional of weddings - we were married here, I was "given away" by my best friend (who took the title "Chief Best Becka"), we had foam swords and pirate theming for the children, and a wedding cake made of six different cheeses, as well as a groom's cake - Yoda, bride's cake - Hello Kitty and a Chief Best Becka's Cake - Colin the Caterpillar (because she can't say caterpillar). 

This is a link to our wedding album on photobucket


(I would add a photo but I can't work out how to embed it!)