Author Topic: Curious about diet etiquette - update p.27  (Read 4985 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

ettiquit

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1662
Curious about diet etiquette - update p.27
« on: April 02, 2013, 04:46:32 PM »
I know I've read stuff on here where it's fine to bring your own food to events if you know the host won't be serving anything you can eat.  On Easter, dinner was pizza and salad (mom wasn't up to cooking).  One guest brought a bag of grilled chicken to eat instead of pizza.  They also brought their own salad dressing (my parents have several different kinds - mostly light stuff).

Even though it was just pizza, my mom still set the table nicely (I think she wanted to have some semblance of a normal holiday meal).  It seemed really out of place for this guest to be eating a separate meal.  I get it - pizza is not very diet-friendly depending on your views, so she certainly shouldn't hurt her diet just to be polite. 

When I mentioned it to a friend, she said that something like this is considered a no-no in Weight Watchers because it makes other people feel uncomfortable.  That one should eat beforehand if they don't think they'll be able to eat a reasonable amount of the unhealthy stuff being offered. 

I certainly didn't feel uncomfortable or anything, but it still felt kind of rude to me.

It's very possible that this can just be chalked up to that whole "I immediately feel guilty if someone chooses a healthy dish and I choose an unhealthy one" idea, but after my friend mentioned the WW thing, I wanted to check with you guys.
« Last Edit: April 03, 2013, 08:15:01 AM by ettiquit »

One Fish, Two Fish

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 506
Re: Curious about diet etiquette
« Reply #1 on: April 02, 2013, 04:54:16 PM »
I don't think it's a WW thing.  I've done WW for years, and I've never heard of it as a "diet" thing.  For me, it would be a time and place issue.  In similar situations, I've either brought enough of a diet entree to share or eaten before I got to the event & had a token meal there.  If pizza is a trigger food, it's hard to eat just a little of it (plus one slice of pizza is not very filling vs how "bad" it is). 
I'll get there.  Eventually.

NyaChan

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4107
Re: Curious about diet etiquette
« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2013, 04:54:45 PM »
If you are bringing your own food, you should ask ahead of time.  If the host does not mind, it isn't rude to bring the food you need to eat.  If the host doesn't want the food brought, then politely decline the invitation.  Personally, I would have offered to bring a dish that I could eat in quantities that would allow for sharing with others.

MrsJWine

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8836
  • I have an excessive fondness for parentheses.
    • Wallydraigle
Re: Curious about diet etiquette
« Reply #3 on: April 02, 2013, 04:56:42 PM »
It's much more uncomfortable for me to eat in front of someone who isn't than it is to be eating something different from someone else. I would much rather someone brought her own food than just sat there while the rest of us ate. Other than that, I think the rudeness of it (or lack thereof) is between the host and the guest.


I have a blog.  I hate that word.


Utah

Sharnita

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 21603
Re: Curious about diet etiquette
« Reply #4 on: April 02, 2013, 05:01:21 PM »
I think there can be a lot of factors. If it is a family dinner I think there is more freedom tjan wjen there are other guests. I think the holiday can be a factor. Could.somebody opt out to avoid the temptation of pizza without hurting feelings?

ettiquit

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1662
Re: Curious about diet etiquette
« Reply #5 on: April 02, 2013, 05:09:18 PM »
I don't think it's a WW thing.  I've done WW for years, and I've never heard of it as a "diet" thing.  For me, it would be a time and place issue.  In similar situations, I've either brought enough of a diet entree to share or eaten before I got to the event & had a token meal there.  If pizza is a trigger food, it's hard to eat just a little of it (plus one slice of pizza is not very filling vs how "bad" it is).

I don't think pizza is a trigger food for this person, but it could be.  Funny though - we ended up with only 2 pieces left, so there really wasn't enough to pig out on.  :P

I think it would have made a difference to me if she had brought enough to share.

ettiquit

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1662
Re: Curious about diet etiquette
« Reply #6 on: April 02, 2013, 05:10:17 PM »
If you are bringing your own food, you should ask ahead of time.  If the host does not mind, it isn't rude to bring the food you need to eat.  If the host doesn't want the food brought, then politely decline the invitation.  Personally, I would have offered to bring a dish that I could eat in quantities that would allow for sharing with others.

I'll have to ask my mom if she knew about it beforehand.  She didn't seem particularly bothered by it, but she's always extremely supportive of people's diets.

ettiquit

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1662
Re: Curious about diet etiquette
« Reply #7 on: April 02, 2013, 05:11:35 PM »
It's much more uncomfortable for me to eat in front of someone who isn't than it is to be eating something different from someone else. I would much rather someone brought her own food than just sat there while the rest of us ate. Other than that, I think the rudeness of it (or lack thereof) is between the host and the guest.

Yeah, what my friend suggested was that she eat something a little filling beforehand and then just eat salad at dinner.  That kind of sounds like too much work for me though!

Zizi-K

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 775
Re: Curious about diet etiquette
« Reply #8 on: April 02, 2013, 05:25:20 PM »
This strikes me as kind of a non-issues. It wasn't a meal someone had slaved hours over a hot stove, it was takeout pizza. If this person was on a diet and knew in advance that the meal was going to be pizza (instead of a typical holiday meal that includes meat and veg and salad), then I'm not sure why it's a big deal for her to have brought her own diet-friendly food. Grilled chicken to me isn't a "superior" food compared to pizza. If she brought over filet mignon or sea bass with organic baby greens, I could see where it would be weird. As someone who has struggled with their weight for years, I would tend to be sympathetic with someone who has made the commitment (so difficult!) to losing weight so much so that they plan their food in advance and bring it, even when it's a little awkward. Cut this person some slack.

Danika

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1961
  • I'm not speeding. I'm qualifying.
Re: Curious about diet etiquette
« Reply #9 on: April 02, 2013, 05:29:17 PM »
I have food allergies and therefore some eating restrictions. If I suspect that I'm not going to be able to eat much or any of the food at someone's house, I warn them in advance so that they don't prepare too much and are not offended if I skip things. But I eat before I go, or just go hungry and eat when I return home. I think it's rude to bring your own food to a meal that someone has cooked and offered you at their home, if the hospitality is about the meal. And, if you don't have blood sugar issues.

If you're going to be at an event for 5 hours, and you can't go 5 hours without food for blood sugar/health reasons, then, I think it's fair to explain it to the host, and perhaps some of the other guests, and then bring what you can eat. Or if everyone's getting together for an event that's not food related like a football game or something on TV, and the hosts are just ordering something like takeout or pizza and you'd like to eat something else, then I don't think it's rude to ask the host's permission and see if you can bring something else.

But if you've been invited to an event that centers around a meal, around homecooked food that might take at least 30 minutes to prepare, then I think it's rude to bring your own food. You should just eat beforehand and not eat when others are eating. JMHO.

Rohanna

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2321
Re: Curious about diet etiquette
« Reply #10 on: April 02, 2013, 05:31:33 PM »
Did  you ask your Mum if they cleared it with her? I certainly wouldn't announce to the table that "so and so is eating something different"- I'd just quietly let them do it. I can't eat pizza at all and I might not be able to eat salad dressings (lactose intolerant), so I could well see doing this.
My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world. ~ Jack Layton.

WillyNilly

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7490
  • Mmmmm, food
    • The World as I Taste It
Re: Curious about diet etiquette
« Reply #11 on: April 02, 2013, 05:34:00 PM »
...When I mentioned it to a friend, she said that something like this is considered a no-no in Weight Watchers because it makes other people feel uncomfortable.  That one should eat beforehand if they don't think they'll be able to eat a reasonable amount of the unhealthy stuff being offered... 
I don't think it's a WW thing.  I've done WW for years, and I've never heard of it as a "diet" thing.  For me, it would be a time and place issue.  In similar situations, I've either brought enough of a diet entree to share or eaten before I got to the event & had a token meal there.  If pizza is a trigger food, it's hard to eat just a little of it (plus one slice of pizza is not very filling vs how "bad" it is). 

The WW thing is, you should not bring just your own special, just for you food.
They suggest offering to bring a dish yourself, but enough for everyone "Oh thank you so much for the invite Aunt Mary, we'd be delighted to come! No we don't mind you're not up to cooking and will be serving pizza, that's wonderful!  Hey would it be helpful if I brought a big green salad?  Its absolutely no trouble!"
Or to eat a proper meal at home (being mindful of points) and then have a very small piece of pizza along with everyone else.
The whole point of of the WW program is you can still eat pizza (and chips, and cake, and lasagne, etc), just in moderation. So the point would be 'don't show up hungry to a pizza dinner'.

I personally do subscribe to the "bring enough for everyone or don't bring any at all" philosophy, although in some cases I think its ok. But in general, barring a medical need for example, I think it is pretty rude, to hosts and to other guests, to bring your own personal meal to a shared family-style meal.

Sharnita

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 21603
Re: Curious about diet etiquette
« Reply #12 on: April 02, 2013, 05:43:53 PM »
If there were only 2 more pieces it strikes me as likely she spoke to your mom ahead of time and thus was not factored into the pizza order.

Poppea

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2458
Re: Curious about diet etiquette
« Reply #13 on: April 02, 2013, 05:46:58 PM »
If you are bringing your own food, you should ask ahead of time.  If the host does not mind, it isn't rude to bring the food you need to eat.  If the host doesn't want the food brought, then politely decline the invitation.  Personally, I would have offered to bring a dish that I could eat in quantities that would allow for sharing with others.

This.  It is never polite to bring food for yourself without clearing it with the host.  I personally agree that a dish to share is more polite than a different meal for one guest.

rose red

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7821
Re: Curious about diet etiquette
« Reply #14 on: April 02, 2013, 05:49:06 PM »
I wouldn't mind if they told me ahead of time, especially for casual get-togethers.  Some foods may be so special I can't handle it, but for grilled chicken, I probably would have supplied it myself so there's enough for every guest.  If I were a guest and gotten approval to bring food, I would bring enough for everybody because I would feel uncomfortable eating something different than the rest.