Author Topic: Curious about diet etiquette - update p.27  (Read 4924 times)

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Surianne

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Re: Curious about diet etiquette - update p.27
« Reply #30 on: April 03, 2013, 10:54:46 AM »
I don't see any problem with it if it's cleared with the host.  I think the polite thing for the other guests to do is just ignore it and assume that it's fine,  -- much more comfortable if the person doesn't feel judged on their eating choices.  I'd be pretty uncomfortable if I knew another guest was emailing the host about me to determine whether or not I was rude.

ettiquit

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Re: Curious about diet etiquette - update p.27
« Reply #31 on: April 03, 2013, 04:09:42 PM »
I don't see any problem with it if it's cleared with the host.  I think the polite thing for the other guests to do is just ignore it and assume that it's fine,  -- much more comfortable if the person doesn't feel judged on their eating choices.  I'd be pretty uncomfortable if I knew another guest was emailing the host about me to determine whether or not I was rude.

Or posting about it on a message board!   ;)


Surianne

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Re: Curious about diet etiquette - update p.27
« Reply #32 on: April 03, 2013, 04:24:32 PM »
I don't see any problem with it if it's cleared with the host.  I think the polite thing for the other guests to do is just ignore it and assume that it's fine,  -- much more comfortable if the person doesn't feel judged on their eating choices.  I'd be pretty uncomfortable if I knew another guest was emailing the host about me to determine whether or not I was rude.

Or posting about it on a message board!   ;)

Hah!  That too but at least here it's mainly anonymous.  Emailing the hostess feels a lot like tattling and/or gossiping to me.  There's no reason this should be the OP's business; it's between the host and her guest.

rigs32

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Re: Curious about diet etiquette - update p.27
« Reply #33 on: April 03, 2013, 04:42:13 PM »
I'm assuming this isn't the case given the nature of the gathering, but my first thought was perhaps the guest was observing Passover making the pizza off limits.

Bexx27

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Re: Curious about diet etiquette - update p.27
« Reply #34 on: April 03, 2013, 04:46:40 PM »
I don't see anything wrong with it as long as it's cleared with the host, but I think it would be more polite to bring a dish to share.
How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these. -George Washington Carver

ettiquit

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Re: Curious about diet etiquette - update p.27
« Reply #35 on: April 03, 2013, 05:10:29 PM »
I don't see any problem with it if it's cleared with the host.  I think the polite thing for the other guests to do is just ignore it and assume that it's fine,  -- much more comfortable if the person doesn't feel judged on their eating choices.  I'd be pretty uncomfortable if I knew another guest was emailing the host about me to determine whether or not I was rude.

Or posting about it on a message board!   ;)

Hah!  That too but at least here it's mainly anonymous.  Emailing the hostess feels a lot like tattling and/or gossiping to me.  There's no reason this should be the OP's business; it's between the host and her guest.

Can I get a pass since the host is my mom?  :D

NyaChan

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Re: Curious about diet etiquette - update p.27
« Reply #36 on: April 03, 2013, 06:29:29 PM »
I don't see any problem with it if it's cleared with the host.  I think the polite thing for the other guests to do is just ignore it and assume that it's fine,  -- much more comfortable if the person doesn't feel judged on their eating choices.  I'd be pretty uncomfortable if I knew another guest was emailing the host about me to determine whether or not I was rude.

Or posting about it on a message board!   ;)

Hah!  That too but at least here it's mainly anonymous.  Emailing the hostess feels a lot like tattling and/or gossiping to me.  There's no reason this should be the OP's business; it's between the host and her guest.

Can I get a pass since the host is my mom?  :D

And you know, cuz we all but asked her to do it?   :)

Surianne

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Re: Curious about diet etiquette - update p.27
« Reply #37 on: April 03, 2013, 06:53:14 PM »
Can I get a pass since the host is my mom?  :D

Haha, yes -- I didn't mean I was condemning you to full ehell.  Obviously if the host is your mom I can see how discussion would happen. 

Now if she were an acquaintance and you emailed her saying "CRUD MONKEYS!, wasn't Dieting Guest super rude???  I can't imagine you'd ever invite her again!!!" we might have a problem  ;D

HGolightly

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Re: Curious about diet etiquette - update p.27
« Reply #38 on: April 05, 2013, 10:20:14 AM »
It's so hard. A good friend is on a diet and stayed for dinner (it was spontaneous) and while most of the food was not in her diet she ate smaller portionsof what she couldn't eat and more of what she could. On the other hand, I have a very restrictive diet due to illness and I have no problem bringing my own meals as a relief to my host or hostess. I am lucky that most of the time I have been offered the few foods I can actually eat.

Possum

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Re: Curious about diet etiquette - update p.27
« Reply #39 on: April 06, 2013, 11:39:02 AM »
Quote
I don't think pizza is a trigger food for this person, but it could be.  Funny though - we ended up with only 2 pieces left, so there really wasn't enough to pig out on. 

Nah, but it could've meant her being unable to keep from picking up a large Supreme or two on her way home.

Besides that, I can think of a lot of things that might play in.

 - She might have medical restrictions, even temporary ones, she is not comfortable talking about, even to the host.  (Especially if anyone who she might tell is a known gossip--not casting aspersions, *I* don't know who was at your party. :D )

 - She might have OCD, where she doesn't feel comfortable eating food that's been prepared by someone else.

 - She might really, really, hate pizza.

 - She might have allergies to something on pizza and be too shy to admit to it, lest she feel like she's forcing the hostess to change the menu--or fix additional food--on her behalf, so she brought her own food.

 - She didn't want to add to the cost of pizzaing everyone.

 - She could have misunderstood and thought it was a "We're doing salad and pizza, bring whatever else you want" meal.  My friends and I used to do those time to time (and one resulted in my own Etiquette Hell story I should share one day).

 - She could be struggling with her diet/willpower, and need to stay as on track as she possibly can, lest she goes off the rails entirely.

In short, there's a lot of reasons.  If this has been a fancier dinner, one that wasn't casual, there'd be a greater risk of an etiquette fail.  But it was casual, she cleared it with the hostess, *and* by bringing her own ready-made food, she made sure she didn't inconvenience said hostess.  I'd say it was odd, but that she's in the clear on this one. :D