General Etiquette > Family and Children

Not sure if I should get involved or MMOB - long story

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I your uncle wanted you or your grandparents to know what was going on they would have told you.  They obviously want privacy, so give it to them.  This not in any way any of your business.


--- Quote from: TootsNYC on April 03, 2013, 01:18:12 PM ---None of this is your business.

Not the tiniest bit of it.

However, I think you *can* do this, which is to write to the uncle or to the wife and say, "I've recently been diagnosed with XYZ disorder, which is hereditary. I'm letting everyone in the family know so that they can consider whether they want to share this info with their own doctors, or be able to recognize symptoms, should they develop."

And that's it. No follow-up, nothing.

You'll have to give up some privacy to do this. But that is all you can do--you cannot ask to see if they need to know this info. You just drop the info off on their doorstep, so to speak.

(My aunt, with whom there is no estrangement, was diagnosed w/ something that is hereditary in the female line. She made a point to give this info to every woman that she is related to. She'd give a baby girl up for adoption many years before, so she forwarded this info to the adoption agency she had worked with. That's about the equivalent of what you're doing.)

--- End quote ---


Also, it seems like you are speculating. 
"It leaves me wondering if my uncle did something to his daughter, because he should be able to work anywhere with his qualifications, so why not live closer to the kids?"

I obviously have less information than you. But I think it is very premature to jump to this type of theory without more than shared here.

A couple could decide to separate without a legal divorce.
The mother could have moved to a different location to be closer to a school that better meets the daughter's needs.
Though your uncle has skills that make him employable anywhere, his tenure at his existing company could mean he is paid much higher than he might at a different company.
The couple could have a home in the original location they are having a hard time selling and the mother is living with a family member.


--- Quote from: bopper on April 03, 2013, 01:25:37 PM ---I agree with Toots.  Let your Uncle/Aunt know that you have the disorder, but leave the ball in their court.  As  long as you feel everyone is safe, it is their lives.

--- End quote ---

POD.  Do your due diligence in informing them of the medical issue which may have an effect on them, but otherwise, MYOB.

POD to the people saying MYOB.

Even if the worst case scenario happens to be true and your uncle did harm your cousin, consider this: you are still his niece and his wife may be the one who does not want contact with her husband's side of the family because they want to be left alone. If your uncle was abusive (and there is no direct evidence of that), I doubt his wife would want to maintain contact with his family.

OP, you said yoorself in your post:

--- Quote ---I realize it's not my business,
--- End quote ---

I agree with another member:

--- Quote --- None of this is your business.

Not the tiniest bit of it.
--- End quote ---


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