Author Topic: Another Baby Shower Thread- Or, "Don't Be Prepared!"  (Read 6868 times)

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Minmom3

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Re: Another Baby Shower Thread- Or, "Don't Be Prepared!"
« Reply #30 on: April 06, 2013, 01:12:20 AM »
One of my SIL's go-to gift for a baby shower is a big honking basket filled with baby 'maintenance and husbandry' items.  Laundry soap. Shampoo and bath gel.  Wash clothes. Nose syringe.  Spit clothes.  Some diaper pins.  A monitor.  A thermometer.  Medicine measuring spoon.  Baby nail clippers and emery boards (paw prints!) I'm blanking on what she puts in those baskets, but the last one I saw had to have a good 20 items in it, all of them highly useful things to have at hand.  None of them will expire as the baby grows, and all of them are items the mom will want to have for the baby at some point.

My go-to gift is a good baby book, with good calming advice.  I'm the book auntie once the children are older.
Mother to children and fuzz butts....

kareng57

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Re: Another Baby Shower Thread- Or, "Don't Be Prepared!"
« Reply #31 on: April 06, 2013, 01:21:17 AM »
I agree completely.  I think this is a lovely baby shower basket.

I know that I am old-fashioned but I have to disagree with a PP who asserted that baby shower gifts were for frills, not necessities.

NyaChan

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Re: Another Baby Shower Thread- Or, "Don't Be Prepared!"
« Reply #32 on: April 06, 2013, 07:29:32 AM »
I agree completely.  I think this is a lovely baby shower basket.

I know that I am old-fashioned but I have to disagree with a PP who asserted that baby shower gifts were for frills, not necessities.

 I think necessities in those cases were referring to big items like a crib, car seat, high chair - or at least that's what I was thinking of in terms of items that I wouldn't really miss if they weren't on the registry  :)  I think the shower basket is a really creative and helpful gift!

Sharnita

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Re: Another Baby Shower Thread- Or, "Don't Be Prepared!"
« Reply #33 on: April 06, 2013, 07:55:32 AM »
Actually, I think there can be middle ground.  People who haven't stockpiled diapers would not be "unprepared" in my book. And people who registered got a stroller, car seat or anything else and waited to buy whatever items they didn't get until after the shower would not automaically get that designation either.

If they had no plan for ever providing the diapers the baby needed, by the time the baby needed it - that would be unprepared. Same with the other items.


I agree about the middle-ground.  IME, my mother told us fairly early on that she wanted to buy the crib, and MIL told us that she wanted to buy the stroller.

If families make it clear at a fairly early stage that they want to provide these items, then the parents know not to shop for these items, or to put them on the registry.

For diapers - assuming that they're disposable ones - it's hard to imagine that parents could stockpile enough to last 2 1/2 years or so, even before the birth.  If they see some on sale at a great price, why not?  However, it's also true that within a few weeks after the birth, parents might decide that they have a preferred-brand.  But people attending a shower either before or very shortly after the birth wouldn't know this, either.

The preferred brand thing can turn into an issue - had a friend buy some that "exploded" (they gel leaked out everywhere when it got wet).  In my family it turned out that several of us couldn't wear disposable at all and had to go cloth.  I agree that having some of your diapers on hand and ready is a good plan but I would never think that it was poor planning not to have a large stockpile or to take more of a wait and see approach. 

Sophia

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Re: Another Baby Shower Thread- Or, "Don't Be Prepared!"
« Reply #34 on: April 06, 2013, 09:16:14 AM »
I honestly wish I'd been a little LESS prepared.  I am a big-time planner, so probably like the OP.  But, there were tons of stuff we never used and could have been bought at Walmart if the need arose.  Even things that other mothers would have guaranteed we'd need.  Pack-n-play, aka Baby Jail, never used it once.  With a sling there wasn't the need.  Diaper cream, used that precisely one day.  With cloth diapers she didn't get a rash.  Baby shampoo, I soon discovered that her hair did best with my DevaCurl products.  The Pediolyte that my Aunt the RN left us, was expired by the time we needed it. 

Tai

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Re: Another Baby Shower Thread- Or, "Don't Be Prepared!"
« Reply #35 on: April 06, 2013, 09:42:48 AM »
I'm a big planner, too.  To the point that we just picked up next winter's ice melt, new snow brushes, and a cute hat and glove set for DD- and the last of the snowbanks aren't yet gone.  They're in the closet with Christmas and kid birthday presents.  So, I get planning ahead!
 
It gets frustrating, because it is a hassle to balance preparing for a new baby and allowing others to help you because they want to.  If you buy something ahead of time, others may be frustrated because they want to help and you may have "stolen" their idea.  Yet, I know I'm not the only one that read hundreds of reviews trying to find the best, most accurate thermometer I could buy, and it seems... rude to say "I want Brand X thermometer" rather than "We need a thermometer".  So a good balance would probably be to keep on stocking diapers and wipes (personally I hated certain wipes, so try them out if you can before you buy a case!) and stash cash instead of clothes for baby- one of the weird things that tends to happen is that you end up with 37 3-6 month onesies and no 0-3's....


Cami

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Re: Another Baby Shower Thread- Or, "Don't Be Prepared!"
« Reply #36 on: April 06, 2013, 01:16:51 PM »
People have a really weird sense of entitlement when it comes to buying baby gifts.

 I'm not a big fan of registries, but I was told people wanted to go in on the big things and I "owed" it to them to make that possible.  So I registered for the big ticket items and wow were the people who gave them so THRILLED to have given them. They really had a sense of accomplishment and "doing the right thing."

I was told I was rude and selfish for not finding out our baby's gender so that people would know what colors to buy for my shower.  ???  Two people actually called me multiple times DEMANDING I call the doctor RIGHT NOW and find out because they were out shopping and NEEDED TO KNOW! I was flummoxed that our very personal choice to be surprised at birth was considered "rude" by so many people. But it was.

I was also shocked by the number of people who bought us LARGE decorative items to hang on the nursery walls and truly expected us to hang each and every one of them.  We had not registered for ANY decorative items as my hobbies include arts/crafts and I was going to make them myself. Which ALL of those people knew -- and said they knew but "I couldn't resist. I know you'll find a place for it. Can't wait to see it hanging there!"

Argh.

It's really difficult to be gracious when you get the feeling that the gifts were given not to make me as the recipient happy or my life easier, but solely to fulfill a need on the part of the giver.

Zilla

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Re: Another Baby Shower Thread- Or, "Don't Be Prepared!"
« Reply #37 on: April 06, 2013, 01:40:43 PM »
I bought the crib, stroller, carseat and baby monitor.  And left small stuff like diapers, clothes, blankets for the registry.  The most expensive thing I had on there was $25.  I did have a separate registry for my parents and in laws that had pricier items but they requested it.  So if at the very least, I would save for the large item and leave smaller items for the registry.

But I wouldn't call it rude.  Maybe she thinks by.You buying all the smaller stuff she thought it was rude to leave large items for the registry? I would correct that misunderstanding.

gramma dishes

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Re: Another Baby Shower Thread- Or, "Don't Be Prepared!"
« Reply #38 on: April 06, 2013, 02:10:30 PM »
...    Pack-n-play, aka Baby Jail, never used it once.  ...

Teeny bit off topic, so apologizing in advance for the slight thread jack.

But I had to smile when I read your description of a Pack-n-Play.  Our kids travel quite a bit and each of the two with children think their Pack-n-Plays are lifesavers.  They needed babies that were "portable".

Both families taught their babies from a very, very early age (think first day home from the hospital) to sleep at least part of almost every day in them.   Then when they traveled, the baby had it's own "crib" and the babies saw it as a comfort zone for them because it was familiar in otherwise unfamiliar surroundings.

They were only used for sleeping.  Never for "play".  The parents wanted the baby to have no confusion at all as to what being placed in it meant.  It meant "Time for sleep!"

Sharnita

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Re: Another Baby Shower Thread- Or, "Don't Be Prepared!"
« Reply #39 on: April 06, 2013, 02:15:38 PM »
Yeah, everyone I know who uses a pack-n-play uses it as a place for baby to sleep.

Mammavan3

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Re: Another Baby Shower Thread- Or, "Don't Be Prepared!"
« Reply #40 on: April 06, 2013, 02:16:58 PM »
Your DMIL may be upset because what you are doing is different from what is usual and customary in her experience.  My experience is similar to hers. There are a number of reasons why the parents delay purchasing a lot before the baby is born - superstition (why tempt the fates?); as Toots put it, a "kindness" to those who will want to express their love and joy in a large way, and the desire to avoid waste (DGS had very sensitive skin and could only use cloth diapers and one kind of disposables and creams and lotions. She couldn't use most of the products she received as gifts and a big stockpile of the popular brands of diapers would have been wasted money.).

I do like a registry with a large variety of gift options. I want to get what the parents will like and enjoy, and one person's cute can often be another's vision of cutesy.

And I thought that the "play" in pack-n-play referred to the parents being able to relax while the baby was confined to "baby jail."   ;)

gramma dishes

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Re: Another Baby Shower Thread- Or, "Don't Be Prepared!"
« Reply #41 on: April 06, 2013, 02:24:51 PM »
...

And I thought that the "play" in pack-n-play referred to the parents being able to relax while the baby was confined to "baby jail."   ;)

I'm sure it does.  The company that made it no doubt intended it to be used as a playpen.  It's just that in my experience they aren't usually used that way.   Maybe they should have named that item "Portable Snooze Place".   
« Last Edit: April 06, 2013, 07:39:55 PM by gramma dishes »

Calistoga

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Re: Another Baby Shower Thread- Or, "Don't Be Prepared!"
« Reply #42 on: April 06, 2013, 07:36:53 PM »
See, I've been to all 4 baby showers MIL has thrown and all of them have been of the cutesy type or the very small 20-40 dollar gift type. No one ever brought big things. So I'm not sure why this one would be different. We ended up not getting the stroller today though. So far we've got diapers and personal

Sharnita

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Re: Another Baby Shower Thread- Or, "Don't Be Prepared!"
« Reply #43 on: April 06, 2013, 07:48:11 PM »
See, I've been to all 4 baby showers MIL has thrown and all of them have been of the cutesy type or the very small 20-40 dollar gift type. No one ever brought big things. So I'm not sure why this one would be different. We ended up not getting the stroller today though. So far we've got diapers and personal

I wonder if somebody specifically indicated an intention to get a stroller this time?

I would say that you know what stroller you want, you have the money to get it, you know where to get it - you are prepared, whether you have it at this moment or not.

lakey

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Re: Another Baby Shower Thread- Or, "Don't Be Prepared!"
« Reply #44 on: April 06, 2013, 07:59:11 PM »
Your MIL is being ridiculous. First of all you will need a ton of diapers, and there are all kinds of things you will need besides the nursing supplies and stroller. Onesies, nighties, first dishes, toys, bathing things, bibs. You need a ton of clothes because they get them dirty so fast. Also, I usually give clothes for when they are several months old because I figure they will have a lot of newborn things and when the child is 8 months old they'll appreciate some clothes.

Anyway the amount of items you can use for your first baby is so extensive that no one will have any trouble getting you stuff. This is YOUR baby, buy anything you want and have fun.