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Quote from: Surianne on April 06, 2013, 09:33:48 PMI agree, whether it's called a party or not, this kind of birthday dinner/drinks isn't a hosted event, and there's nothing that implies (to me) that the birthday person is trying to represent it as a hosted event. S/he's organizing a group of friends to go out. The information is all given up front so anyone who prefers a hosted event can simply decline. Nothing rude here.I don't find it rude unless the birthday person expects gifts.
I agree, whether it's called a party or not, this kind of birthday dinner/drinks isn't a hosted event, and there's nothing that implies (to me) that the birthday person is trying to represent it as a hosted event. S/he's organizing a group of friends to go out. The information is all given up front so anyone who prefers a hosted event can simply decline. Nothing rude here.
Quote from: Roe on April 07, 2013, 08:21:07 AMQuote from: Surianne on April 06, 2013, 09:33:48 PMI agree, whether it's called a party or not, this kind of birthday dinner/drinks isn't a hosted event, and there's nothing that implies (to me) that the birthday person is trying to represent it as a hosted event. S/he's organizing a group of friends to go out. The information is all given up front so anyone who prefers a hosted event can simply decline. Nothing rude here.I don't find it rude unless the birthday person expects gifts.Yes, I'm not used to seeing gifts at these types of gatherings, so I agree with you there -- I'd think that was pretty odd. To me the gift to the birthday person, in a way, *is* the showing up and paying for your own meal
we also don't buy gifts or even the bday person's dinner and drinks!
Quote from: mstigerlily on April 08, 2013, 08:59:41 AMwe also don't buy gifts or even the bday person's dinner and drinks! My experience also. I can't think of a single time anyone in my group of family or friends has ever 'chipped in' for the birthday person's meal. Everyone just pays their own way.