One concert takes all weekend

[Venus193]

"That will not be possible" is a complete answer.

[Spring Water on Sundays]

Yeah...I have pretty severe anxiety about driving in unfamiliar cities so I am often looking to catch a ride in situations like this. HOWEVER, it is MY problem and I'll happily inconvenience myself so as not to inconvenience the person driving me to the venue. This whole agenda the CW has cooked up is just silly.

[BeagleMommy]

I'm sorry, that won't be possible.  Repeat ad nauseum.

[PennyandPleased]

Wow - I think you and I share a mutual friend. One of my friends basically asked me to do the exact same thing not that long ago!

I just said: "aww thanks for the offer but I have too much going on that weekend. See you at the "event". I'll be getting there at 6:00."

[lmyrs]

This woman drives into and out of this city nearly every single day for work so I'm not sympathetic with her desire not to do it for the concert. It may be different if she was completely unfamiliar with the area and never drove there on her own. But that's not the case here. I'd just tell her that you already have plans for the weekend and you can't pick her up. If she really doesn't want to drive in and out of the city, she can drive around it to your place and you take her from your home.

[Addy]

So her plan was for me to drive to her house after work Friday, go to some fundraiser she is selling pasties at that night

  Please tell me you are talking about the meat filled pastry, not the other definition of this word!
 

[audrey1962]

This thread reminds me of a friend that has made similar requests because she honestly thought it would be fun! The difference with Meredith is that my friend wasn't afraid of driving into the city. But all the rest of it: the sleepovers, the fundraiser, the errand running - she actually thinks those are fun things to do with a friend. She even once suggested a "weekend getaway" of driving twelve hours and seeing a show, staying at a bed and breakfast, the works. We're acquaintances. We're in our 40s. I'm married (she's not).

I just tell her no. It doesn't hurt our relationship in the least.

[Surianne]

This is why I don't think you should judge her so harshly yet:

This thread reminds me of a friend that has made similar requests because she honestly thought it would be fun! The difference with Meredith is that my friend wasn't afraid of driving into the city. But all the rest of it: the sleepovers, the fundraiser, the errand running - she actually thinks those are fun things to do with a friend. She even once suggested a "weekend getaway" of driving twelve hours and seeing a show, staying at a bed and breakfast, the works. We're acquaintances. We're in our 40s. I'm married (she's not).

I just tell her no. It doesn't hurt our relationship in the least.

It's very possible she would genuinely enjoy this type of weekend.  Yes, it's a way to get around driving, but she also thinks she's giving you something in return: a chance to spend a few days together.  Just because some of us wouldn't like it (and I agree, I'm too much of an introvert) doesn't mean others wouldn't.  I have friends who love just hanging out and running errands together because it's together time.  They'll invite me over for a night just because it would be fun (in their minds) to sleep over. 

So I wouldn't think of her as selfish or entitled because so far, she's only made the offer.  If she accepts the OP's declining of the invitation, there's no problem here.

[White Lotus]

Is there maybe a park and ride lot or a train station or giant store that doesn't care in between you, on the way to City, where you could meet, go together, return there, and each go home?  I can see wanting to go together to and from the concert -- parking alone will cost a lot, and it would be fun to have the chance to talk.  But the way she is proposing is not convenient and doesn't sound like fun. If you live in Utopia, where public transporation works, you could perhaps train or bus to the venue and bring picnics for the ride.  Sometimes there are special event buses from park and ride locations for huge concerts and sporting events in Big Cities.  There simply has to be a better way than what she proposes, and I suggest a little web work might make one apparent.  What everyone else has said about saying you can't spend the weekend with her is all very good and quite polite!

[snowfire]

So her plan was for me to drive to her house after work Friday, go to some fundraiser she is selling pasties at that night

  Please tell me you are talking about the meat filled pastry, not the other definition of this word!
 

/threadjacck/ Anyone else got the mental image of Gypsy Rose Lee from the musical "Gypsy" singing "You Gotta Have A Gimmick" and twirling her tassels? /end threadjack/

Oh yeah, and the "Come to the business meeting, you'll enjoy it" schtick.  Can you smell a MLM?

[snowdragon]

Did she ask, or just act like it was a done deal?


Also if the concert is in the city where you work, and she is comfortable driving to work, have her drop her car off at work and then you can drive her to the venue- if you feel like it.

[TootsNYC]

I can see in some situations that spending time with someone--even if the activity is not the traditional "friends get-together"--could really be great.

But not a coworker whom I see every day.

[jaxsue]

So her plan was for me to drive to her house after work Friday, go to some fundraiser she is selling pasties at that night

  Please tell me you are talking about the meat filled pastry, not the other definition of this word!
 

Love pasties! (the food, of course)

[LifeOnPluto]

I totally get that it can be scary driving alone in a busy city at night. But really, her "solution" is completely inconvenient for the OP, and the OP would not be rude in refusing.

I like the idea of telling Friend to meet at the OP's place before the concert and the OP will drive them together. Although as a PP said, be prepared for the fact that Friend might find that too inconvenient for HER!

Also like the idea of exploring public transport options - if there's a safe bus or train, perhaps your friend could catch that?

[Venus193]

I hope that the selfish co-worker has her ticket and it's paid for.