Rude to not postpone wedding?

[mstigerlily]

I'm still stuck on the idea that the bride and groom might be out hundreds of dollars of a deposit because she'd "have" to move the wedding date. Are the dear parents planning on covering that money? Somehow I doubt it.

If Sis is in the hospital/just gave birth/super pregnant, there is this fabulous invention you can use. It's called a video camera. There are even professionals who will do it for you- videographers! Another great invention- skype! :shoves Snarky TL back in the box:

[Twik]

At first, I had a bit of sympathy for the parents. After all, who wouldn't feel torn between seeing your daughter married or being there for the birth of your first grandchild? They may not have handled it well, but I thought it was just one of those lousy situations life sometimes throws at you. Even so, I figured the best solution would be to let nature take its course, and the birth actually might be well before or after the wedding date.

But, "wedding," in quotation marks? Not a real wedding? That's a direct slap in the face.

[TurtleDove]

With the update, this is more about the behavior of the parents toward K in general.  In a family where all parties get along, the parents asking K to postpone the wedding would make some sense, assuming K would want her family to be able to do everything happily.  Under these particular circumstances, it is a symptom of a much bigger problem.  Good on K and C for not putting up with it anymore.

[Venus193]

At first, I had a bit of sympathy for the parents. After all, who wouldn't feel torn between seeing your daughter married or being there for the birth of your first grandchild? They may not have handled it well, but I thought it was just one of those lousy situations life sometimes throws at you. Even so, I figured the best solution would be to let nature take its course, and the birth actually might be well before or after the wedding date.

But, "wedding," in quotation marks? Not a real wedding? That's a direct slap in the face.

It certainly is.

I also think that since the baby will be there for a long time to come it is ridiculous for the parents to be willing to miss their other daughter's wedding for a birth event whose exact time cannot be determined.  Unless the mother is going to be in the delivery room with the other daughter (which was not specified) there should be no question that she belongs at her other daughter's wedding.

However, in view of the update, I endorse the engaged daughter's reaction.  I might even go so far as to tell them I would rather they not attend full stop.

[Lynn2000]

Great update for the sisters! I feel for them, having parents like that, but I'm glad they can now see past it and make their own decisions, including the decision to be happy for each other even though the parents are trying to cause drama between them.

[dlws92]

It's not uncommon for the bully in a dysfunctional relationship to "up the ante" when the victim starts to set boundaries.  That's what it sounds like here.  K isn't responding the way she used to...so they are going to go out of their way to try and put her back in her place.   K is very blessed to have a supportive sister...and a great husband-to-be And good for her in setting this boundary and sticking to plans!

[LifeOnPluto]

At first, I had a bit of sympathy for the parents. After all, who wouldn't feel torn between seeing your daughter married or being there for the birth of your first grandchild? They may not have handled it well, but I thought it was just one of those lousy situations life sometimes throws at you. Even so, I figured the best solution would be to let nature take its course, and the birth actually might be well before or after the wedding date.

But, "wedding," in quotation marks? Not a real wedding? That's a direct slap in the face.

Apparently it's only a real wedding if you get married before the age of 30. 

Given the update, I definitely don't think K should change her wedding date.

[Winterlight]

I think K should have the wedding she wants and let the chips fall where they may.

[Calistoga]

It sounds to me like the two most important people that the parents should be worried about- their daughters- are happy for each other and have things worked out. So even if mom and dad decide to be utter clods the rest of the way, K and C won't be too badly affected.

[Sophia]

I don't know K.  I am just an internet bystander like everyone else.  But, I imagine that if the parents had a normal healthy relationship with K, K and her FH would have considered it. 

But, to put wedding in quotes?   ?!!@$@#?   I wouldn't even invite anyone who did believe that my wedding was real.  Even in the original post the parents were dismissive of the wedding. 

This is what I would say to the parents if I were K.  "If my wedding is insignificant and not even real, why do you even want to attend?"