Author Topic: Exchange with neighbor - how rude was I?  (Read 3728 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Hexie

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 331
Exchange with neighbor - how rude was I?
« on: April 08, 2013, 02:04:53 PM »
It was beautiful last night and we went on a family bike ride. I had the following exchange with a neighbor down the street and its been weighing heavy on me since. How far into ehell should I be thrown?

Older Neighbor (outside working in her yard): "Hello!"

Me (riding past): "Hi! How are you?"

ONB: "Do you want some Rosemary?" (Gestures to enormous pile of trimmed Rosemary)

Me (stopped): Oh! No but thank you!"

ONB: "But it's FREE!"

Me: "I appreciate it but no thank you!"

ONB (clipped tone): "BUT. IT'S. FREE."

Me (trying to be cheerful and polite): "Oh, I really appreciate the offer but I just don't care for it.

Her face immediately turned into a thunder cloud and I took that as my cue to leave. However, I could hear her muttering and talking about me with her companion as I rode off. Afterwords, I thought of several "white lies" that I could have used, had I been prepared. I tried to be polite but in the end I offended her. How far into ehell am I thrown? Does any one have suggestions on handling the situation to a better outcome?

Thank you!
« Last Edit: April 08, 2013, 02:08:47 PM by Hexie »

Margo

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1556
Re: Exchange with neighbor - how rude was I?
« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2013, 02:06:29 PM »
Not at all.You were polite, thanked them for the offer. They were pushy.

Shoo

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 16393
Re: Exchange with neighbor - how rude was I?
« Reply #2 on: April 08, 2013, 02:06:41 PM »
In no way were you rude.  She, however, was rude for not taking no for an answer, and then to TALK about you behind your back!

Frankly, I wouldn't worry too much about what someone like that thinks of me.

Calistoga

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 401
Re: Exchange with neighbor - how rude was I?
« Reply #3 on: April 08, 2013, 02:12:44 PM »
You were great! I'd have probably taken it and found some kind of use for it because...well... IT WAS FREE :P

cicero

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 17540
Re: Exchange with neighbor - how rude was I?
« Reply #4 on: April 08, 2013, 02:37:35 PM »
huh?

Your neighbor is either very rude or ... well, strange.

it was very nice of her to offer the rosemary. you do not have to take it. you were utterly polite.

for her to get angry about it is way OTT.

            Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools

LeveeWoman

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4149
Re: Exchange with neighbor - how rude was I?
« Reply #5 on: April 08, 2013, 02:49:06 PM »
"I'll take some parsley, sage and thyme!"

alkira6

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 969
Re: Exchange with neighbor - how rude was I?
« Reply #6 on: April 08, 2013, 02:52:15 PM »
Is rosemary her zuchinni?  She's a little off, you were fine.  You don't ever need to take something just because someone wants you to have it.

though like a previous poster I would have taken it because FREE! and spent money making rosemary infused olive oil, rosemary herb crusting spice, rosemary cheddar loaf, dried rosemary for cooking, ....

Twik

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 28380
Re: Exchange with neighbor - how rude was I?
« Reply #7 on: April 08, 2013, 02:57:01 PM »
EvilTwik would have looked at her reproachfully and explained that she was deadly allergic to rosemary. In fact (achoo!) even being within a few feet (cough!) could be fatal, and then run off quickly.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

reflection5

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 436
Re: Exchange with neighbor - how rude was I?
« Reply #8 on: April 08, 2013, 03:04:04 PM »
Quote
Afterwords, I thought of several "white lies" that I could have used, had I been prepared.

This is the part that bothers me.  You do not need to think of white lies or justify yourself in ANY way (including excuses about mythical allergies or anything else).  You said "No, thank you" - more than once.  She was pushy and a bit rude.  Let it go and stop worrying.

CrazyDaffodilLady

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1241
Re: Exchange with neighbor - how rude was I?
« Reply #9 on: April 08, 2013, 03:20:36 PM »
I think it's rude for people to attempt a conversation with someone who's obviously trying to get some exercise.  It throws you out of the "zone" and makes your exercise more difficult.  It's particularly bad if the person forces you to stop to talk to them.  Then you have to start over to reach the desired physical and mental state.

People who exercise know this.  People who don't exercise may not know it. 

Rosemary Lady was rude (and/or crazy). You did nothing wrong other than stopping instead of simply waving as you flew on by.
It takes two people to play tug of war. If you don't want to play, don't pick up the rope.

MorgnsGrl

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 728
Re: Exchange with neighbor - how rude was I?
« Reply #10 on: April 08, 2013, 03:23:52 PM »
I don't think you were rude. You politely refused. Refusing isn't rude as long as you do it politely.

(I don't like rosemary either.)

reflection5

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 436
Re: Exchange with neighbor - how rude was I?
« Reply #11 on: April 08, 2013, 03:34:42 PM »
Also, some people don’t “get” that just because something is FREE doesn’t change the fact that you don’t want it.  I had an incident where a friend got miffed because she tried to give me a picture she found at a thrift shop that she thought I should hang on my wall.   I said “No, thanks” several times.  I felt she should give it to someone who would appreciate it.  I had no problem with the fact it came from a thrift shop, I just didn’t care for the image and I didn’t want it on my wall.  It may have been perfect for someone else.

rose red

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7552
Re: Exchange with neighbor - how rude was I?
« Reply #12 on: April 08, 2013, 03:39:02 PM »
"No thank you" is the perfectly polite and correct way to turn down something.  She's the one who is rude for pushing, clipped tone, thunder cloud face, and muttering.

Lexophile

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2592
Re: Exchange with neighbor - how rude was I?
« Reply #13 on: April 08, 2013, 05:14:00 PM »
Would it have been rude to refuse to accept free garbage? She was essentially offering you her yard trash.
"Submission to what people call their 'lot' is simply ignoble. If your lot makes you cry and be wretched, get rid of it and take another." - Elizabeth von Arnim

Surianne

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 10783
    • Prince ShimmerShine Moondream's Blogging Adventure
Re: Exchange with neighbor - how rude was I?
« Reply #14 on: April 08, 2013, 07:13:09 PM »
Huh, what a weird conversation.  I think it was kind of her to offer (I love swapping garden items between neighbours!) but if you're not interested, you're not, and she should have accepted your polite no,