When I heard that a former teacher passed away, the buzz on Facebook amongst my former classmates made it sound as though he was much loved and admired. That isn't what I remember. I remember him for his mean-ness, lack of encouragement, disparaging comments, and I particularly remember leaving his classroom in tears one time because the night before, I'd worked particularly hard in his course, was quite proud of myself for what I'd accomplished, and before he'd had a chance to see it he found an excuse to say to me, "You are lazy and do not want to learn." (Because I didn't know the answer to a question he posed to me in class, especially since I couldn't understand his accent). I recall others having the same opinion of him. So 25 years later, when I heard on Facebook that he had died, and saw all the glowing praise for him, I stated, "That isn't my memory. I remember (he was a bully, mean, etc)" and one or two others piped up, "Thank you. That is how I remember him too." (I did add that he was probably a generally good person and that his family must be devastated to lose him). But the conversation kind of fell silent after that, and I wondered if I had broken some kind of social convention, ie that all dead people must suddenly become amazing human beings in our memory.