Author Topic: Your kid is invited to a party, please fork over cash..  (Read 16423 times)

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Hmmmmm

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Re: Your kid is invited to a party, please fork over cash..
« Reply #75 on: April 16, 2013, 08:36:01 PM »
We were poor growing up, but I had awesome parties in the yard at home because we had 66 acres of space. So my mom would make a bon fire and we'd camp, cook hot dogs and marsh mallows, play hide and seek...basically I got to have sleep overs with more people. But my friends said these were AWESOME parties.

That is still my definition of an awesome party!!
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I agree that this is a great party. But the investment of 66 acres is huge and out of the norm for  the majority. We had to host home parties on less than a 1/3 acre lot.

mmswm

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Re: Your kid is invited to a party, please fork over cash..
« Reply #76 on: April 16, 2013, 08:47:21 PM »
We were poor growing up, but I had awesome parties in the yard at home because we had 66 acres of space. So my mom would make a bon fire and we'd camp, cook hot dogs and marsh mallows, play hide and seek...basically I got to have sleep overs with more people. But my friends said these were AWESOME parties.

That is still my definition of an awesome party!!
.
I agree that this is a great party. But the investment of 66 acres is huge and out of the norm for  the majority. We had to host home parties on less than a 1/3 acre lot.

My old house, before I moved to ND, was on a rather large lot for the area.  It was just a bit under 1/3 acre and I had a nice pool and decent pool deck.  There was a pool for swimming, and the yard on one side of the house, wrapping around to the back until it ended with the pool gate, was decently sized.  Well, at least for an area where most yards are so small that it takes 10 minutes with a push mower to cut the grass.  I did host some rather nice parties there.  I had an annual Halloween bash and one notable late spring Saturday we had a "pool filling" party.  I had to drain and refinish the pool, and a few favors were called in and the fire department came out and filled the pool in a combination of emptying out the tanker trucks and from the hydrant.  I had an all day drop-in style party for all of the emergency services departments in the area.  I'm sure more than a few of my neighbors wondered why I had so many fire trucks, ambulances and police cars coming to my house all day.  The thing is though, that those parties were expensive.  My Halloween party could easily cost $1500, plus my time, and my pool filling party cost somewhere around $400.  Then the work that went  into them was insane. 

My boys have birthdays close together.  Two of them in one month and the third in the following month.  Sometimes the option of an ice skating party is really nice.   Bonus points if it actually costs less. 

I simply can't imagine actually charging my guests though. That would go against everything I've ever been taught about party hosting. (And my parents have an even bigger yard-several acres-and a bigger pool, and like to host parties, so this has been pounded into my head throughout the years).

Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Danika

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Re: Your kid is invited to a party, please fork over cash..
« Reply #77 on: April 16, 2013, 08:48:17 PM »
I used to have a tiny apartment that was 571 square feet including the balcony and the storage closet. I was single then and I remember having parties where I invited 135 people (I counted, plus they could invite friends) and we all squeezed into the apartment! Granted, it was just chips, dip, beer and margaritas in plastic cups, and people came and went, there was no formal start time, but we made it work.

Rohanna

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Re: Your kid is invited to a party, please fork over cash..
« Reply #78 on: April 16, 2013, 08:54:35 PM »
I certainly would invite more adults to a small space than I would children- particularly since to an adults party I am generally inviting all friends-of-friends, whereas a children's party I would often be entertaining parents I've never met before, or only briefly. I certainly wouldn't egregiously break fire-code or safety at a party for anyone, but particularly not small children. I think adults might be happy standing or perching with a beer and chips and just talking in a very crowded room, but most 4 year olds would find that a rather unadventurous party.

Just because something isn't the way you do it, or you prefer, doesn't necessarily mean it's wrong= etiquette shouldn't be a values judgement.
« Last Edit: April 16, 2013, 09:39:20 PM by Rohanna »
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peaches

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Re: Your kid is invited to a party, please fork over cash..
« Reply #79 on: April 16, 2013, 08:59:56 PM »
Does anyone remember scavenger hunts? We used to have them at parties when I was a teenager.

My teen granddaughter went to a birthday party last weekend where they had a scavenger hunt.The girls were on teams, and they had a blast! Fortunately, the neighbors were good humored about it.  ;D


nrb80

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Re: Your kid is invited to a party, please fork over cash..
« Reply #80 on: April 16, 2013, 10:00:58 PM »
We just hosted a 3rd birthday party at our local community clubhouse. I didn't want to have it at home because I wanted to enjoy talking to my adult guests (the parents of the other 3-year-olds) instead of making sure the 3-year-olds weren't breaking our pianos, china cabinet, TV, etc. We estimate that for 40 guests, invitations, clubhouse rental, pizza, softdrinks, ice cream, cupcakes, balloons, party favors etc. the party cost about $200. But it was exhausting to carry all those things to the clubhouse and clean up afterwards. The next party, I think we'll have at the roller rink so we don't have to do so much work.

I spent about 30 hours on my son's third birthday party between shopping, cleaning, decorating, baking the cake, etc.  I reminded my husband of my billable rate and how much the party really cost!  It's hard, hard work to throw a party at home.  I think most people who attend recognize that, but there's always that one (and it's always someone who throws their kid a party where the snacks are *exactly* half an apple and a square inch of cake per child) who snottily calls the party "down to earth" meaning cheap.

MommyPenguin

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Re: Your kid is invited to a party, please fork over cash..
« Reply #81 on: April 16, 2013, 11:31:01 PM »
Does anyone remember scavenger hunts? We used to have them at parties when I was a teenager.

My teen granddaughter went to a birthday party last weekend where they had a scavenger hunt.The girls were on teams, and they had a blast! Fortunately, the neighbors were good humored about it.  ;D

I've never done a scavenger hunt, but both of my older kids have wanted to do a Dora the Explorer party at some point, so I made a map and a series of places they had to go through, and a treasure hiding at the end (their goody bags in a treasure chest).  I even got somebody to be Swiper and try to steal their stuff.  Now my 3rd says she wants a Dora party for her 3rd birthday in August.  :)  We also went to a Dora party where somebody did something similar, but in teams.

peaches

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Re: Your kid is invited to a party, please fork over cash..
« Reply #82 on: April 16, 2013, 11:40:51 PM »
Does anyone remember scavenger hunts? We used to have them at parties when I was a teenager.

My teen granddaughter went to a birthday party last weekend where they had a scavenger hunt.The girls were on teams, and they had a blast! Fortunately, the neighbors were good humored about it.  ;D

I've never done a scavenger hunt, but both of my older kids have wanted to do a Dora the Explorer party at some point, so I made a map and a series of places they had to go through, and a treasure hiding at the end (their goody bags in a treasure chest).  I even got somebody to be Swiper and try to steal their stuff.  Now my 3rd says she wants a Dora party for her 3rd birthday in August.  :)  We also went to a Dora party where somebody did something similar, but in teams.

What a great idea! I bet the kids loved it. Dora is a hit with girls and boys alike.

furrcats

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Re: Your kid is invited to a party, please fork over cash..
« Reply #83 on: April 17, 2013, 04:41:09 AM »
We were poor growing up, but I had awesome parties in the yard at home because we had 66 acres of space. So my mom would make a bon fire and we'd camp, cook hot dogs and marsh mallows, play hide and seek...basically I got to have sleep overs with more people. But my friends said these were AWESOME parties.

That is still my definition of an awesome party!!
.
I agree that this is a great party. But the investment of 66 acres is huge and out of the norm for  the majority. We had to host home parties on less than a 1/3 acre lot.

My old house, before I moved to ND, was on a rather large lot for the area.  It was just a bit under 1/3 acre and I had a nice pool and decent pool deck.  There was a pool for swimming, and the yard on one side of the house, wrapping around to the back until it ended with the pool gate, was decently sized.  Well, at least for an area where most yards are so small that it takes 10 minutes with a push mower to cut the grass.  I did host some rather nice parties there.  I had an annual Halloween bash and one notable late spring Saturday we had a "pool filling" party.  I had to drain and refinish the pool, and a few favors were called in and the fire department came out and filled the pool in a combination of emptying out the tanker trucks and from the hydrant.  I had an all day drop-in style party for all of the emergency services departments in the area.  I'm sure more than a few of my neighbors wondered why I had so many fire trucks, ambulances and police cars coming to my house all day.  The thing is though, that those parties were expensive.  My Halloween party could easily cost $1500, plus my time, and my pool filling party cost somewhere around $400.  Then the work that went  into them was insane. 

My boys have birthdays close together.  Two of them in one month and the third in the following month.  Sometimes the option of an ice skating party is really nice.   Bonus points if it actually costs less. 

I simply can't imagine actually charging my guests though. That would go against everything I've ever been taught about party hosting. (And my parents have an even bigger yard-several acres-and a bigger pool, and like to host parties, so this has been pounded into my head throughout the years).

That's a really cool party idea  :)

VltGrantham

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Re: Your kid is invited to a party, please fork over cash..
« Reply #84 on: April 17, 2013, 09:30:01 AM »
I'm lazy, lazy, lazy, when it comes to parties but I can still host an at-home party for less than I can paying for one out.  Plus, our parties tend to be family only anyway and I doubt DH's 90 year old grandparents would enjoy roller-skating--but I could be wrong. ;D

I make sure the house is picked up and clean the guest bathroom, but I clean the rest of the house after the party, not before.  I order cupcakes from Walmart, instead of a regular cake (no cutting, no portion issues "oh, not THAT big!", no dealing with "but I wanted the corner piece," or "please make sure mine has a rose on it!").  I use neopolitan ice-cream sandwiches.  Food is usually little tea sandwiches, home-made chocolate dipped strawberries, cheese, crackers, smoked sausages in crescent rolls, pink lemonade and iced-tea.  If I'm feeling particularly adventurous, I may coat the rims of the plastic "glasses" in pink sugar or something else that goes with whatever I'm serving.

I use the same decorations year after year--mostly from the Dollar Store and a few I've made myself (paper and cloth banners, chains of paper), that store easily after the party is over.  Usually the party is about 10 hours or less of work--but that has a lot to do with the fact that I'm simply recycling the same old party year after year and now have it down to a science.  If I had to come up with something new every year or host a lot of children, it would probably be another story altogether.

LibraryLady

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Re: Your kid is invited to a party, please fork over cash..
« Reply #85 on: April 18, 2013, 12:16:26 PM »
I will have to ask my siblings, but I cannot ever remember having a formal birthday party with friends coming over.
I am 59, and we lived out in the country, and rode the bus to school. 

There were some classmates who lived closeby - we lived in a VERY small community.

 I think that either my older brother or sister made a cake or Granny or mother.

My BD is 9/5, just at the beginning of school in the 'olden days' when school started September 1st.

Hmmm, going off to email sister - because brothers won't remember   ;D

JenJay

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Re: Your kid is invited to a party, please fork over cash..
« Reply #86 on: April 20, 2013, 11:14:51 AM »
We were poor growing up, but I had awesome parties in the yard at home because we had 66 acres of space. So my mom would make a bon fire and we'd camp, cook hot dogs and marsh mallows, play hide and seek...basically I got to have sleep overs with more people. But my friends said these were AWESOME parties.

That is still my definition of an awesome party!!
.
I agree that this is a great party. But the investment of 66 acres is huge and out of the norm for  the majority. We had to host home parties on less than a 1/3 acre lot.

Well yeah, I wasn't suggesting everyone run out and buy 66 acres of land instead of goodie bags.  :P

At our old house we had a tiny little yard and we still had parties like Calistoga describes, they were definitely the kids' favorite thing to do!

MommyPenguin

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Re: Your kid is invited to a party, please fork over cash..
« Reply #87 on: April 20, 2013, 02:30:17 PM »
My kids started planning their next birthday parties last night (for October and January, so they're on top of things!).  The turning-5-year-old wants a Dora party.  Her plan is that her older sister will dress up as a lamb, in a costume that my mother is apparently going to have to make for her.  Ahead of the party, they'll film Emily in the lamb costume saying that she's lost and needs help.  Then, Jenny will dress up as Dora and they will dress Charlotte, the toddler, as Boots.  My mother is apparently also going to be making these costumes.  At the start of the party, Emily will sneak off, put on her lamb costume, and go hide.  Somebody will put on the video of her plea for help, and then Dora and all her party guests will suit up with backpacks and maps that describe the way to where the lamb is lost.  Then they will go rescue the lamb, after, of course, conquering several challenges/obstacles and Swiper (not sure who they will make into Swiper) along the way.  Their planning was so elaborate and utterly hilarious, especially given the length of time until the party.

OSUJillyBean

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Re: Your kid is invited to a party, please fork over cash..
« Reply #88 on: April 22, 2013, 12:58:30 PM »
I'm in my late 20s and I had exactly two out-of-the-house birthday parties as a kid.  One was at the local park with homemade cake and games (plus the park's jungle gym equipment) and one was at a Mickey Ds's train caboose thing.  We were very poor but my folks scrimped and saved and made do with what we had.  If we could only afford to invite four guests to my birthday party, then that's what happened.

I was astounded when my SIL rented a HUGE bouncy-house thing for her oldest child's 4th birthday party.  It was wet and rainy outside and apparently the bouncy thing had just been cleaned because when they aired it up it made a ton of soap bubbles!  Lol - at least it was clean but the kids didn't want to play outside in those conditions so she would with over a dozen kids under the age of 5 running and screaming and riding bikes / ride-ons / etc through her house.  How on earth is that fun?  I am still childless and the chaos made me very uncomfortable and nervous.

Back on topic: charging people to attend a party/event  is unacceptable.   

OTOH I might have broken my own rule.  DH (Mr. Bean) and I were married in 2011.  We invited only immediate family and very close friends (about 20 people in all including ourselves) It was a destination wedding in the Florida Keys.  We wanted to help our guests and opted to rent out three vacation rentals (nine bedrooms total) so that they had free hotel rooms during the visit.  The place also had two pools and a private beach so that was a nice perk.  We couldn't afford our guests' airfare however (although we did have to cover my mother's airfare as she waited until TWO WEEKS before the wedding to buy tickets and then pulled the "I can't afford to come so if you want MOB there, you'll have to pay up!"  Cue the guilt trip!!!

(Wow, I ramble!)

Back OT - call the "hosts" (or should we call them laser tag sales people?) and politely decline.  There's no reason to feed the animals.  :P

MrTango

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Re: Your kid is invited to a party, please fork over cash..
« Reply #89 on: April 22, 2013, 06:38:58 PM »
I can't stomach the idea of condemning the act of inviting people to an event for which they have to pay for admission as rude.  I feel that as long as the costs are clearly presented up front, those invited can make an informed decision about whether to attend.

And by up front, I mean in the same breath (or paragraph) as the invitation.

For example, "Hey guys, I was thinking it'd be fun to go to the Twins game next Saturday.  Tickets are $20/person, and I was thinking we could all get seats in section X.  Interested?"

In this situation, the person would be an organizer, rather than a host.