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Author Topic: Lukewarm about best friends bf...  (Read 11108 times)

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Re: Lukewarm about best friends bf...
« Reply #15 on: May 08, 2013, 08:49:13 PM »
So a mini update - we chatted a little bit about him, and I told her the things I did like about him - which was that he was treating her well and that he makes her happy.  I told her that I could tell she was a little put out I didn't immediately jump on the "I LOVE HIM" bandwagon a couple of our other friends have - but for a couple of reasons.  First, I told her that I am slowly gauging the situation to see how he continues to treat her in the long term - her ex who had a myriad of issues and treated her quite shabbily started out treating her amazingly in the beginning as well.  I told her since she is my best friend I am prone to judge him a little harsher to make sure he is legitimate in his intentions.  I also said that I had a feeling a couple of the others that had been like "I LOVE HIM" immediately were just so relieved that New Guy wasn't her ex, that they were MORE receptive to anyone else, whoever it may be.  Given the background there, I think that is definitely a factor. 

I've spent a little more time with him, which unfortunately my immediate reaction was pretty spot on.  So I am trying to think of things that her and I can do one on one rather than have us hang out on couple-y timed things, because I really don't care for his personality (or lack there of) at all. 

We did not discuss the possibility of him being bisexual at all.  I figure that may be a road we need to cross someday, but I'm absolutely sure I do not want to be the one to bring that up, since she is already sensitive to the fact I didn't immediately fawn all over him.

I would never, ever, put her in a position to choose between friendship and a boyfriend, and am trying to find ways to see her one on one rather than couple-y situations, because DH and I (collectively) do not care for her BF and would prefer to socialize either in a larger group (6-8 people with them) or not at all.  (Just them and us)  I do realize that there is the possibility (strong) of them being very serious so it may be that life brings the friendship level back a few steps because of her BF...I keep trying to find things I like about him on a personal level and it's just so darn hard!  I really like that he treats her well so that is what I keep saying when she keeps asking me what I think about him...I must sound like a broken record!