Mods, not sure what category this is supposed to be in.
This sounds like the silliest question, but DH and I had an argument (really round #10,987 of an argument that's lasted 16 years
). How do people converse with one another?
When DH's family is sitting around talking, let's say Person A begins a subject and states something. Person B will jump in and say something, often before Person A is finished. Then Persons C and D will jump in, and as soon as Person D appears to be trailing off or finishing, Person E hops in, and so on. If the topic is something controversial, like politics, the rule is "He (or She) with the quickest reaction time and the loudest voice "wins". To me, it is a lot of interrupting, although no one gets truly angry and it isn't abusive. We had a huge fight at his parents' house (we went for a walk) after one such episode, in which I was not allowed to finish my thoughts during a debate.
In my family, at least before death took so many of the people DH knew, one person shares and then there's a pause before someone else begins, and everyone shares. It's almost parliamentary. This started when I was a kid at the dinner table, and everyone could speak about the day without interruption.
Now my own kids and DH communicate just as he did in his family and I feel I can't get a word in. I have a soft voice and take a while to get my thoughts together and then form words, and in that interim, DH or a kid will jump in. When I get mad, DH says 95% of people communicate like this and my family had been stiff, formal and just plain odd (well, odd I can give him
). I couldn't stand visiting DH's family partly for this reason, and he felt out of place and very uncomfortable around my family. He called them "cold". He's probably right, there. My father kept his emotions very close to the vest, and he was partly deaf. He was a far better listener than speaker. He also had the same "lag" between knowing what he wanted to say, and saying it.
Is he right, and I'm the oddball, or is this just a different style out of circumstances and personalities?