I think I have been misunderstood. My point is not that everyone should converse like a trial lawyer or how my BF and I converse. My point was that it would surprise me that the wife in the example would choose to be married to someone like the husband when their styles of conversing are so different. The wife in the example was crushed by her husband's comments and shut down. In contrast, I would have said my piece with no fear in response to the husband's comments (and while I would not have acted how the husband did, it would irritate me that my spouse was not able to stand up for herself if she felt wronged, but would instead just shut down.) Neither of us is right, neither is wrong, I just don't think the husband and wife in the example are a good match.