Author Topic: You Haven't Sponsored Me Yet  (Read 4356 times)

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Sparkle Star

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Re: You Haven't Sponsored Me Yet
« Reply #15 on: April 18, 2013, 11:23:43 AM »
You could reply telling him that your funds were all eaten up by donations to the "Teach My Friends Basic Etiquette" Foundation.

;D ;D ;D

Thanks for the perspective, guys.
I maybe am being a bit sensitive and perhaps he didn't mean it in an 'off' way.

(As BG - he also asked for some of my media contacts a while ago, which I gave him; he asked me to look over a media release he'd started to write, which I did. He then subsequently asked me do a full PR job around this for free, which I had to say no to; too much paid work on and a lot of friends ask/expect similar favours so my blanket response now is 'no'. My view is that if I was running a shop, they wouldn't expect free goods all the time - a service should be no different. Anyway - because of that I think he is peeved with me which is why his comment stung.)

I'm just going to ignore it unless he mentions it again. He has been hammering FB with 'I'm doing this, here's the link to my Just Giving page' and 'Come on guys, only X days to go, still time to sponsor me' so he might well do....in which case I will PM him.
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PastryGoddess

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Re: You Haven't Sponsored Me Yet
« Reply #16 on: April 18, 2013, 11:29:19 AM »
I think you opened the door by clicking "like."

I disagree. the like was not for his online giving page, but simply on his facebook update about how excited he was. 

WillyNilly

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Re: You Haven't Sponsored Me Yet
« Reply #17 on: April 18, 2013, 11:41:03 AM »
I think you opened the door by clicking "like."

I disagree. the like was not for his online giving page, but simply on his facebook update about how excited he was.

I also disagree on the basis that when you "like" a status it helps bump the status up in other people's news feeds and it gets logged in the smaller feed on the right of your friend's list pages - therefore by "liking" a status the liker is helping to promote the status, which might actually lead to someone sponsoring him. Basically its a tiny bit of free advertising.

buvezdevin

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Re: You Haven't Sponsored Me Yet
« Reply #18 on: April 18, 2013, 12:55:06 PM »
You could reply telling him that your funds were all eaten up by donations to the "Teach My Friends Basic Etiquette" Foundation.

;D ;D ;D

Thanks for the perspective, guys.
I maybe am being a bit sensitive and perhaps he didn't mean it in an 'off' way.

(As BG - he also asked for some of my media contacts a while ago, which I gave him; he asked me to look over a media release he'd started to write, which I did. He then subsequently asked me do a full PR job around this for free, which I had to say no to; too much paid work on and a lot of friends ask/expect similar favours so my blanket response now is 'no'. My view is that if I was running a shop, they wouldn't expect free goods all the time - a service should be no different. Anyway - because of that I think he is peeved with me which is why his comment stung.)

I'm just going to ignore it unless he mentions it again. He has been hammering FB with 'I'm doing this, here's the link to my Just Giving page' and 'Come on guys, only X days to go, still time to sponsor me' so he might well do....in which case I will PM him.

So, you *have* given him assistance and support - just not as much as he *wants* from you.

If you do discuss/PM with him on this matter, I suggest making this point.
Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink -- under any circumstances.
Mark Twain

EllenS

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Re: You Haven't Sponsored Me Yet
« Reply #19 on: April 18, 2013, 01:00:50 PM »

(As BG - he also asked for some of my media contacts a while ago, which I gave him; he asked me to look over a media release he'd started to write, which I did. He then subsequently asked me do a full PR job around this for free, which I had to say no to; too much paid work on and a lot of friends ask/expect similar favours so my blanket response now is 'no'. My view is that if I was running a shop, they wouldn't expect free goods all the time - a service should be no different. Anyway - because of that I think he is peeved with me which is why his comment stung.)


Being a SS/gimmie pig for charity is still rude.  He will quickly learn that acting ungrateful for help received is the worst possible way to work for charity.

lilfox

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Re: You Haven't Sponsored Me Yet
« Reply #20 on: April 18, 2013, 01:16:42 PM »
I don't think "liking" his post committed you to anything.  In addition, you've already helped him plenty for which he doesn't seem appreciative - since your time = money, then you've already sponsored him.

He was rude and I would unlike his post and ignore any further gripes.

gramma dishes

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Re: You Haven't Sponsored Me Yet
« Reply #21 on: April 18, 2013, 01:54:35 PM »
...   I don't think it would be out of line to PM him and say "I didn't want to call you out in public, but I I felt it was really inappropriate of you to try to pressure me into sponsoring you by putting my name on your Facebook page in the way that you did. I wish you every success on Sunday, but I am not able to sponsor you. Please don't do this again"   depending on how well you now him, you could also tell him that his pressure and 'name and shame' technique actually means you are now *less* likely either to sponsor him or support his chosen charity, in future.

I think either of two choices would be fine:  Ignore?  Great --  unless he does it again.

If he does, I love Margo's idea and her wording.  It lets him know that his manner of 'encouraging' you to monetarily support him backfired.  Maybe that will help him avoid turning you and other potential sponsors off in the future.

artk2002

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Re: You Haven't Sponsored Me Yet
« Reply #22 on: April 18, 2013, 02:14:25 PM »
I think you opened the door by clicking "like."

This is twice in a row that I'm disagreeing with you. "Liking" someone's activity isn't an opening to being hounded for money. The only time I think that "you haven't sponsored me yet" is when the target has promised to sponsor and hasn't followed through. I wouldn't necessarily object to "Glad you like it. Would you please consider sponsoring me?"
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

MrTango

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Re: You Haven't Sponsored Me Yet
« Reply #23 on: April 18, 2013, 07:14:53 PM »
I'd probably reply with "You're right, I haven't."

Then again, that might cause other issues.

TootsNYC

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Re: You Haven't Sponsored Me Yet
« Reply #24 on: April 18, 2013, 08:24:34 PM »
I think you opened the door by clicking "like."

This is twice in a row that I'm disagreeing with you. "Liking" someone's activity isn't an opening to being hounded for money. The only time I think that "you haven't sponsored me yet" is when the target has promised to sponsor and hasn't followed through. I wouldn't necessarily object to "Glad you like it. Would you please consider sponsoring me?"

It is sort of surprising when we don't have the same reaction, isn't it, Art. We do often agree.

But I think a single comment about an actual sponsorship--even one that begs the question of whether she INTENDS to sponsor him--is just not that out of line in that situation.

Of course it didn't commit the OP to anything--nobody ever said it did, not even me. I just think that if you chime in on that sort of post, it's not that weird for the person to say, "hey, put your money where your mouth is" or something similar.

And this wasn't even all that rude, honestly. I don't consider it to be "calling her out in public." I think the OP is feeling extra sensitive (or guilty?) about it or something. I hope she can just blow it off.

I'm pretty much w bah12:

Ignore it.

I don't think you did anything wrong by liking a status about his excitement for the marathon, but I do think it would have been better to ignore his comment about your lack of sponsorship.  At this point though, I don't think you owe him any explanation nor do I think giving him one will matter.  Whether he was calling you out in public or just joking is irrelevent.  This is a subject that hopefully neither of you ever bring up again. 

I also don't think she did anything *wrong* by liking the status, but I also think that if you chime in on a conversation like this, you can sort of expect the person to nudge you about sponsoring them.

artk2002

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Re: You Haven't Sponsored Me Yet
« Reply #25 on: April 18, 2013, 10:57:35 PM »

I also don't think she did anything *wrong* by liking the status, but I also think that if you chime in on a conversation like this, you can sort of expect the person to nudge you about sponsoring them.

I guess I don't mind the nudge as much as how it was expressed. Saying "you haven't sponsored me yet" implies that the OP has committed to sponsor or is at least expected to sponsor. I just don't think that follows at all from a simple "like." (Although FaceBook has managed to mess up the definition of "friend" and "like" to the point where I don't want to use either word!)
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

LifeOnPluto

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Re: You Haven't Sponsored Me Yet
« Reply #26 on: April 18, 2013, 11:05:48 PM »

I also don't think she did anything *wrong* by liking the status, but I also think that if you chime in on a conversation like this, you can sort of expect the person to nudge you about sponsoring them.

I guess I don't mind the nudge as much as how it was expressed. Saying "you haven't sponsored me yet" implies that the OP has committed to sponsor or is at least expected to sponsor. I just don't think that follows at all from a simple "like." (Although FaceBook has managed to mess up the definition of "friend" and "like" to the point where I don't want to use either word!)

I agree. I think it would have been better if the OP's friend had simply said "I'd appreciate any donation you can give" or even "OP, would you like to sponsor me?"

But his wording made it sound like a forgone conclusion, that the OP would sponsor him.