Co-Ed sleepover communication

[joraemi]

I have agreed to host the post-prom sleepover. 11 girls and 5 boys. They will be arriving around 4:30am after the after prom event. 

  I am wondering if I should communicate with the parents of the kids who will be staying here, as not all of them know me and my husband. 

I was thinking about things like:

all the kids will be sleeping on the main floor of the house
either my husband or I will be here at all times
there will be no underage drinking permitted
we will provide basic toiletries like shampoo/conditioner/face wash/makeup remover/shaving cream/razors in all of the bathrooms so the kids don't have to pack that kind of stuff
we don't have firearms in our house
its a non-smoking house (my son has asthma, so this is always a concern for me)
we have a dog (allergies)
we will most likely be a gluten free kitchen by that time

What do you think? Would you want to hear from me? Or would you just trust that your kid was making a good choice about the group they were hanging with and leave it at that?

[Sharnita]

I would definitely want that info. It is good for the kids to all have it in writing, too.

[RebeccainGA]

As a parent I'd love to get a little note from the brave souls hosting that party saying all the things you've said.

[amylouky]

I would actually write up a little agreement and have all the kids sign it, including the info that you've listed and things like, no one will be leaving the house after 4:30 AM, and get contact info in case you have to call parents if anyone gets out of hand.
As a parent of the other child, I'd be very reassured to get this kind of info.

[GrammarNerd]

I think the note is good.

Just a thought: I know you mentioned basic toiletries, but do you have enough towels for all of those kids to shower?  Should they bring a towel?  What about sleeping bags (assuming they're actually going to sleep when they get to your house)?

[*inviteseller]

Can you print a simple letter to each parent that is half invitation half information sheet?  As the mom of a 17 yr old, I know I would appreciate the information ahead of time from an adult (you can get a criminal to talk easier than a teenager!).  And I would offer to meet the other parents too if they choose.  Most parents are a bit more relaxed by the time the kids get to be this age, but they still want to know what is going on.

[Zilla]

I am going against the grain here.  These kids are 17 and 18 years old?  I would only offer my phone number if the parents want to contact me.

[Arrynne]

I only think the first three items are really important. Those would give me a warm fuzzy that my child would be in a safe place. I think mentioning the lack of firearms is unnecessary, the toiletries is very good hosting, and the rest falls under "my house, my rules"

[QueenofAllThings]

Some parents may want to know if there is a 'boy' zone and a 'girl' zone. They may not care - you may not care. But some may want to ensure there's no scrabble (to the extent you can prevent that).

I'd also collect car keys if there are any, just in case. You never know who has been drinking and may get a dumb idea.

And good for you for agreeing to do it!

[MariaE]

I am going against the grain here.  These kids are 17 and 18 years old?  I would only offer my phone number if the parents want to contact me.

POD to this. I'd find it really weird to get such a note. As if you were expecting me to be a helicopter parent or that I didn't trust my child to make sensible decisions for him/herself. 5 years earlier it would be different, but at 18 you're legally an adult (in DK anyway).

If you insist, stick to just the first three points like Arrynne said.

[joraemi]

I am going against the grain here.  These kids are 17 and 18 years old?  I would only offer my phone number if the parents want to contact me.

This is what my neighbor suggested as well.  I think I will have my DD give out our number and my e-mail address to the group.  I *would* like to have a phone number for a parent/emergency contact for everyone though, I think. I don't anticipate any problems as my DD tends to hang out with kids who are "rule followers" like she is, but you never know.

One of the PP asked if I have enough towels - unfortunately yes!  LOL Re: sleeping bags - they are going to drop their stuff off at our house when they come over to do pictures before prom.

[cb140]

(My son is 17)

I think if I got a note like that, I'd think it was a little odd, but in a sweet way, not a bad way. I think I would just think you were more protective than I was,but I'd be touched. All the parties that my son goes to these days are mixed and involve sleeping over, and also involve a lot of alcohol (we are in the uk and I think teen drinking is much more common here,and certainly would be the norm at a party for 17/18 year olds.). But I sense that in the US that is more taboo, and so I suppose in that context it would be nice for parents to know there was no alcohol planned (although won't the kids just sneak it in? No?)

I think providing toiletries and razors is incredibly thoughtful of you (although I have to say that after a night of partying, shaving is probably the last thing on my sons mind the next morning lol).

[SingActDance]

I am going against the grain here.  These kids are 17 and 18 years old?  I would only offer my phone number if the parents want to contact me.

POD. Give out your phone number so the more protective parents can get the extra info if they want it. (Ha, I'm fairly certain my mother didn't even know the name of the girl whose house we stayed at after junior prom.) Many of these kids are on the verge of leaving for college. Their parents likely trust them to handle themselves post-prom and get home safely the next day.

[stitchygreyanonymouse]

I am going against the grain here.  These kids are 17 and 18 years old?  I would only offer my phone number if the parents want to contact me.

I agree. My friends’ parents never did this when we had similar gatherings—and very few had ever interacted with my parents (either before or after). If they were younger, I can see wanting to provide that information, but not at prom age.

[WillyNilly]

I think the note unsolicited is bit over the top. I think being prepared with the note is a good idea - I think parents who are concerned ought to be asking. And if they ask about one or two of those topics, its nice to provide them all the info. But if they don't ask, no big whoop on providing the info.