Author Topic: Co-Ed sleepover communication  (Read 3411 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

joraemi

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3798
  • Crystal of Enchantment - my current project
Re: Co-Ed sleepover communication
« Reply #15 on: April 18, 2013, 11:55:54 AM »
I am going against the grain here.  These kids are 17 and 18 years old?  I would only offer my phone number if the parents want to contact me.

This is what my neighbor suggested as well.  I think I will have my DD give out our number and my e-mail address to the group.  I *would* like to have a phone number for a parent/emergency contact for everyone though, I think. I don't anticipate any problems as my DD tends to hang out with kids who are "rule followers" like she is, but you never know.

One of the PP asked if I have enough towels - unfortunately yes!  LOL Re: sleeping bags - they are going to drop their stuff off at our house when they come over to do pictures before prom.




Courage is the price life  exacts for granting peace.  ~Amelia Earhart~

NyaChan

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3944
Re: Co-Ed sleepover communication
« Reply #16 on: April 18, 2013, 12:06:20 PM »
I am going against the grain here.  These kids are 17 and 18 years old?  I would only offer my phone number if the parents want to contact me.

This is what my neighbor suggested as well.  I think I will have my DD give out our number and my e-mail address to the group.  I *would* like to have a phone number for a parent/emergency contact for everyone though, I think. I don't anticipate any problems as my DD tends to hang out with kids who are "rule followers" like she is, but you never know.

One of the PP asked if I have enough towels - unfortunately yes!  LOL Re: sleeping bags - they are going to drop their stuff off at our house when they come over to do pictures before prom.

I think having the information available would be nice so that parents can check in- speaking as one kid who got stuck at home at the last minute after prom because she didn't think to mention the sleepover part of prom and had no information about whether there would be other parents around available to mitigate the shock of discovering there would be guys staying over as well ;)  As you can imagine, the parentals were not pleased.  Unfamiliar with the whole concept of prom, my parents had no clue that there would be a sleepover at all, let alone one that might include both guys and gals. 

Sharnita

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 21246
Re: Co-Ed sleepover communication
« Reply #17 on: April 18, 2013, 12:16:33 PM »
I think the note makes plans and expectations clear to both prom goers and parents. That seems valuable. If what you envision conflicts with their plans, they have time to make other arrangements.

As far as alcohol at parties for kids this.age, it is downrigjt illegal here. If adult hosts chose to furnish it anyway they and their guests would be risking legal consequences. Sneaking it in opposition to clearly expressed house rules seems so ungracious and like such a clear example of immaturity regarding alcohol.

cb140

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 550
Re: Co-Ed sleepover communication
« Reply #18 on: April 18, 2013, 01:56:41 PM »
I think the note makes plans and expectations clear to both prom goers and parents. That seems valuable. If what you envision conflicts with their plans, they have time to make other arrangements.

As far as alcohol at parties for kids this.age, it is downrigjt illegal here. If adult hosts chose to furnish it anyway they and their guests would be risking legal consequences. Sneaking it in opposition to clearly expressed house rules seems so ungracious and like such a clear example of immaturity regarding alcohol.

Definitely a greater taboo, as I thought. Interestingly, I'm not sure of the legal position here regarding drinking at home. It is certainly illegal for a shopkeeper to SELL alcohol to somebody under eighteen. But that's on the shop, not the teen or his parents. And in fact most shops are very strict about it - you have to show ID.

Alcohol at parties, though, is such a norm that thinking about it, I think if parents were to forbid alcohol (as of course they are totally entitled to do) the party just wouldn't happen at their house - they'd find another house to go to whose parents were ok with it.  I've never come across that happening so far within my son's circle of friends. Although parents often make rules about, for example, where they can and can't go in the house, eg not in the living room, only the family room etc. I quite agree that sneaking alcohol in against an express rule would be ungracious. 

I think if there are legal ramifications then it definitely sounds better all round just to specify that there will be no alcohol!

katycoo

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3596
Re: Co-Ed sleepover communication
« Reply #19 on: April 18, 2013, 07:30:46 PM »
I think an email or note with yuour contact info for the night, and inviting them to call if they have any questions of you is sufficient.  Those who are concerned about hte things you've mentioned will ring.

Although as some parent are more liberal, it may be worth adding that its an alcohol free party and anyone found to have brought any will be delivered home.

Since the kids are all coming over before prom, I'd get parents numbers of them then.

TootsNYC

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 28702
Re: Co-Ed sleepover communication
« Reply #20 on: April 18, 2013, 10:00:41 PM »
Also, if I were mildly worried, the fact that you reached out to say, "let me know if you have any questions" would tell me that you *were* taking a level of responsibility for the sleepover, and I'd assume that my only major worry--the kids having sex, or any sort of sexual harrassment--would be assuaged.

(I know my kid could have sex at any other time, but I wouldn't want them to do it there anyway. And that's also the only real worry I'd have--I wouldn't want them to drink, but they'd have finished any of that by then. And I'd also feel comfortable that this wouldn't be easy to do bcs the OP would be focusing on the party to some degree.)

I do agree w/ this, though:

Although as some parent are more liberal, it may be worth adding that its an alcohol free party and anyone found to have brought any will be delivered home.


It also alerts the kids that you really mean it.

nuit93

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1014
Re: Co-Ed sleepover communication
« Reply #21 on: April 19, 2013, 01:45:32 AM »
I am going against the grain here.  These kids are 17 and 18 years old?  I would only offer my phone number if the parents want to contact me.

I agree.  I know quite a few people who started college and lived away from home by 17, so the idea of their parents being informed of their overnight whereabouts would have been very odd.

bopper

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 12011
Re: Co-Ed sleepover communication
« Reply #22 on: April 19, 2013, 09:02:10 AM »
Quite frankly the other parents should be contacting you!

Judah

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4769
  • California, U.S.A
Re: Co-Ed sleepover communication
« Reply #23 on: April 19, 2013, 10:22:53 AM »
Quite frankly the other parents should be contacting you!

Exactly, and I this is what I did anytime one of my kids spent the night away from home, especially on prom night.  I contacted the parents where they would be staying to get the lay of the land. Fortunately for me, prom night was spent at the home of good friends of ours, so it wasn't an issue at all.
Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
Subtle hints don't work.
Strong hints don't work.
Really obvious hints don't work.
Just say it!

-The Car Talk Guys