Author Topic: My leg is ugly :(  (Read 4047 times)

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Syfygeek

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Re: My leg is ugly :(
« Reply #30 on: April 19, 2013, 08:45:13 AM »
https://www.google.com/search?q=air+brush+legs&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=Flamingvixen-a#q=airbrush+legs&hl=en&client=Flamingvixen-a&hs=mkN&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&source=lnms&tbm=shop&sa=X&ei=wbRwUcqaOoLB4APUn4DoAg&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAw&bav=on.2,or.r_cp.r_qf.&bvm=bv.45373924,d.dmg&fp=85ddfa613356e002&biw=1366&bih=664

Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs - it really good, affordable and made specifically for legs.

And then smack your co-worker upside the head. Ok not literally but verbally tell her how hurtful her comments are.

I love this stuff- covers scars, veins, etc.. I've worn it to work, then swimming and it stayed in place- you have to scrub it off.

And Dotty, I am so sorry your coworker cannot drop this! I have rosacea, and before I realized what it was and started treatment, my face was RED- my cheeks & nose looked like they were on fire. I'd cover with makeup, but if I got hot, bam, there's the red again. One coworker would always go on and on- "your poor face", "doesn't it hurt", and my all time favorite, "it's a shame you look like that". Luckily she was in a different department and I could avoid her most days.

Good luck with your annoying coworker!
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Free Range Hippy Chick

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Re: My leg is ugly :(
« Reply #31 on: April 19, 2013, 09:44:14 AM »
There are two separate problems here and only one of them is yours. The one that is yours is that you are self-conscious about the mark on your leg. I get that, I have a big birthmark on my leg, and it can make me self-conscious too. So yes, look into concealers and so on. Sounds like you already have that under review.

The other problem is that your co-worker is obsessed with the mark on your leg. Guess what? Not your problem. She can find whatever method works for her to get over it. It only becomes your problem when she goes on and even on about it, and then your problem is that she is being rude and boring, not the issue over which she is being rude and boring.

I would call her on it, coldly. 'You seem to have an inordinate, and frankly rather disturbing, interest in my legs. You may be quite assured that I have taken all the medical advice that I need or want. I understand that you have some problem with this, but frankly it is just that - your problem - and I would appreciate you dealing with it without mentioning it to me again.' Then any time she raises it, ask, still coldly, 'are you obsessing about my legs again?'

Backup method: draw up a five by five grid on a piece of paper, and put it, prominently, on your office wall. At the bottom of it, put a picture of some treat: bottle of wine, expensive meal, new book, sexy shoes, whatever floats your boat. Every time Miss Does-Not-Engage-Brain-Before-Speaking comments on your leg, put a large X in one of the squares. Complete the sheet and you get to buy yourself the book/shoes/bottle of wine. Extra points if somebody else at work asks what the countdown is for, because office gossip being what it is, if you say, even without mentioning names, that you're counting the number of times somebody makes an impertinent comment about your physical appearance, and that you've nearly won a magnum of champagne, it will get around.

Backup method 2: boredom. 'Oooh, DottyG, your poor leg, it looks so...' and you interrupt. Aim for the tone in which a teenager comments on the sheer uncoolth of your music preferences. 'Yes, I know, I've got wet rot, dry rot and death watch beetle, my leg is going to fall off any day now.' This is one circumstance in which rolling your eyes is perfectly acceptable. Actually, I think this one might work best. She's plainly not troubled about being rude, but nobody likes to be thought boring.

lady_disdain

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Re: My leg is ugly :(
« Reply #32 on: April 19, 2013, 10:08:50 AM »
"Co worker, you have expressed your concern before and I have explained that my leg is fine and the doctor is not worried. I see no need for you to continue on this subject. Please don't mention it again."

"Co worker, as I have explained before, I do not appreciate your continuous interest in my leg. Don't bring it up again or I will be forced to take it HR."

"HR Person, Co Worker has continued commented on my appearance and medical situation, despite the fact that I asked her not to."

Three strikes, she is out.

Twik

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Re: My leg is ugly :(
« Reply #33 on: April 19, 2013, 10:45:23 AM »
I agree, there comes a point where the only thing you can do is echo back, "Really, are you still on about that?"

This person is (consciously or not) picking at what she knows is something that bothers DottyG, because it gives her something to feel positive about herself. I think that the only way to make her stop (short of going to HR) is to reflect it back in a way that makes *her* feel she's losing status. Instead of crocodile tears for "Poor DottyG, there's something wrong with her," it becomes, "What's wrong with *you* that you can't let this drop?"
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cicero

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Re: My leg is ugly :(
« Reply #34 on: April 19, 2013, 01:35:13 PM »
But she is right that it shows. It wasn't until I posted earlier that I really thought about it. I remember someone else that looked at it and commented on how there's something wrong with my leg and "what the heck is that?! You need to see a doctor about that! That looks horrible!"
yes. it shows. my white hairs also show. sometimes my eyes twitch when I'm tired. and my legs have a discoloration. etc. If *you* want to cover up then do so. but if you feel you *have to* cover up because your co workers are rude, then I don't think you have to. Just my opinion.

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Piratelvr1121

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Re: My leg is ugly :(
« Reply #35 on: April 19, 2013, 01:51:59 PM »
Hippy Chick's solution made me chuckle cause it reminded me of Golden Girls and how Blanche, Sofia and Dorothy would react anytime they heard "Back in St. Olaf" from Rose.   

It is a good approach, I think and I like the reward sheet for putting up with her.  :)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

JoW

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Re: My leg is ugly :(
« Reply #36 on: April 19, 2013, 06:20:10 PM »
I don't know why I didn't think to say this earlier -

When someone mention's my limp I say "Its old" or "Its under control."  Then I bean dip.  That might work for you, too. 

cheyne

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Re: My leg is ugly :(
« Reply #37 on: April 19, 2013, 07:10:39 PM »
Your coworker has issues if she will not shut-up about the red mark on your leg.  Please stop giving this woman head-space.  Who cares what she thinks?  Use PP's suggestions to shut her down.  If you want to use make up or concealer for your own reasons, go ahead but don't do it because some airhead is hassling you. 

One thing to remember is that no one has a perfect body.  The magazines and movies would have us think so, but the amount of makeup and airbrushing used on those "perfect people" is staggering.  Thank Diety that people have imperfections, how boring would life be if we were all perfect?

wonderfullyanonymous

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Re: My leg is ugly :(
« Reply #38 on: April 19, 2013, 09:56:47 PM »
Quote
I've had cellulitis, and there are occasionally comments on the redness of my leg. I just tell the curious person that it is scarring from the cellulitis that I had a few years ago. If I'm really warm, the redness of my leg is more prominent, but I don't make a big deal out of it. It is what it is.

Mine runs from mid-shin to my ankle and almost all the way around my leg.

Really?  That sounds like mine.

So the redness is possibly due to the cellulitis after all?  I didn't think about whether it's worse if I'm warm.  I'll have to watch that and see.


The discoloration is scarring. Not sure if any of the meds like Mederma will do anything because the scarring will be in the skin not on top of it like a typical scar. Sometimes mine itches, but not bad, but it does get more red when I am warm.

Just tell your coworker that its a scar, explain what it's from, one time, after that, I think a look will be enough to shut her down.

mmswm

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Re: My leg is ugly :(
« Reply #39 on: April 19, 2013, 10:26:24 PM »
My first smart alec remark was "Well, you could always move to Alaska where you could wear long pants every day"

My second smart alec thought was to advise you to get a bunch of different colored lip stage make up products and create little monster cartoons with the mark as the center of them.

Then I read Free Range Hippy Chick's thought about the reward sheet and thought that would be the most awesome thing ever!

On a more serious note, I agree with the others that say this is her problem, not yours.  You should not feel obligated to spend your time and money covering up a mark on your leg just to make a rude coworker shut up.  Now, if you really want to cover it up for your own peace of mind, then go for it, but don't do it just because this immature woman wouldn't know a boundary if it smacked her in the face and can't shut up.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

DottyG

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Re: My leg is ugly :(
« Reply #40 on: April 20, 2013, 11:21:23 PM »
I've ordered some Dermablend. We'll see if it helps.


JenJay

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Re: My leg is ugly :(
« Reply #41 on: April 20, 2013, 11:41:30 PM »
I hope you like it, Dotty! As for your coworker I think you need to say "So you've mentioned. Repeatedly. Your fascination with my leg makes me uncomfortable. I'd like you to stop commenting on it."

squeakers

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Re: My leg is ugly :(
« Reply #42 on: April 21, 2013, 12:51:04 AM »
I've got a 3-4" scar on the back of my leg. On the rare occasion when I wear hose someone always helpfully tells me I have a run in my stocking.  I tell them "No, I have a "run" in my leg."

I've had that scar since I was a toddler and think nothing of it.  It's a part of me.  It didn't stop me from graduating high school, getting married, having kids, having a job, reading my favorite book, playing farmville, gardening, swimming, throwing a party or anything else one might say.

I see no reason to hide it.  Anyone who comments a second time on something that is a part of me whether my splotchy white bangs and sideburns, the flat spot on my forehead, how wide my butt is or the scar on my leg would be met with an arched eyebrow and then see just my backside.  Err.. I mean I would turn away from them.

The third time? If a co-worker I would report them to HR.  If a "friend" I would ask them why they feel the need to comment on my body.

Covering up a flaw is up to the person.  If it makes you feel better, great! I wear baggy shirts to hide my tummy  ;D But only because I want to.. not because I really care what other people think.  Baggy shirts remind me of 80s styles and my youth  >:D

One co-worker constantly on and on to me would drive me batty.  I wonder how many thousands of people see you over the course of a year who _don't_ feel the need to bring up your leg?  It's always the rude people we think about, unfortunately.  But when we stop giving them space in our heads our hearts are much happier.
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Redsoil

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Re: My leg is ugly :(
« Reply #43 on: April 21, 2013, 08:14:15 AM »
See, I'd be tempted to draw a smiley face on the patch, with a cartoon bubble saying "Hi Nosy Co-worker!".  In fact, I'd move beyond temptation and do it!  A different smiley face every day, with different greetings for Nosy until she got sick of it, never to comment again!
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TootsNYC

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Re: My leg is ugly :(
« Reply #44 on: April 21, 2013, 04:51:08 PM »
I agree, there comes a point where the only thing you can do is echo back, "Really, are you still on about that?"

This person is (consciously or not) picking at what she knows is something that bothers DottyG, because it gives her something to feel positive about herself. I think that the only way to make her stop (short of going to HR) is to reflect it back in a way that makes *her* feel she's losing status. Instead of crocodile tears for "Poor DottyG, there's something wrong with her," it becomes, "What's wrong with *you* that you can't let this drop?"

I'm with this. Redefine the conversation.

You don't even have to be snotty to do this. You can ALSO be "oh so gently concerned"--she must have a real hang-up, right, to be going on and on about this. This must push some deep, previously unknown psychological button for her, since she seems to have a compulsion to comment so frequently. Does she see a therapist, that she could discuss this with? If not, maybe she sound find one--maybe the company's Employee Assistance Program could help her find one.