General Etiquette > Family and Children

Asking for something that's being saved for your wedding?

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JeseC:
So here's a question.  I have a family member with some items that I've explicitly been told were being saved up for my wedding.  The problem is, the farther along I go, the less likely the occurrence of that particular event appears.  And in any case if it does occur it's quite liable to be later in my life.  Would it be rude to ask for the items to be given on another occasion?

LeveeWoman:

--- Quote from: JeseC on April 18, 2013, 10:11:03 PM ---So here's a question.  I have a family member with some items that I've explicitly been told were being saved up for my wedding.  The problem is, the farther along I go, the less likely the occurrence of that particular event appears.  And in any case if it does occur it's quite liable to be later in my life.  Would it be rude to ask for the items to be given on another occasion?

--- End quote ---

Could you be a little more explicit?

delabela:
Well, depending on the item, I think it would probably be ok to say something like you know that the item is intended for your wedding, but you would dearly love to put it to good use and see it cherished (I guess I'm thinking of some sort of family heirloom like a quilt). 

NyaChan:
Depends on the family member/relationship and the items in question. Can you be more specific?

weeblewobble:
I think it depends on what those items are.  I will say that my sister effectively "lost" my great-grandmother's wedding band by waiting until her wedding to receive it.  She inherited the ring in great-grandma's will.  My grandmother told Sis that she would hold onto the ring in her safety deposit box until Sis was ready to marry.  (Sis was only 17 at the time.) 

Five years later, Sis gets engaged and goes to grandma and asks for the ring, only for grandma to have no recollection of keeping the ring.  She insists that she gave it to our mom for safe-keeping.  Our mom simply wouldn't do this because she wouldn't want to risk losing the ring.  If it had been offered to her, she would have asked grandma to keep it.  This was during a period where grandma was getting more forgetful about things and getting really defensive when questioned about it.  So insisting that she had the ring did no good and came very close to starting an all out feud.  Sis dropped the subject.  We still haven't found the ring.

My point?  Maybe it's better to ask for the items now, instead of leaving them to the whims of fate.

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