Author Topic: Texting Rudeness?  (Read 5996 times)

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reflection5

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Re: Texting Rudeness?
« Reply #15 on: April 24, 2013, 01:35:49 PM »
Quote
Live-chat texting seems like two people leaving notes for each other when they are in the same room and could just talk.

This.

There are times when it’s ok to text and other times when a conversation is necessary.  Texting should be a supplement, not a substitution for a real conversation.  If someone never wants to have an actual conversation they are most likely lazy, socially inept, or they are (for some reason) avoiding real live communication.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Texting Rudeness?
« Reply #16 on: April 24, 2013, 01:49:38 PM »
I'm with Art in that I don't think generations have anything to do with it. The friend that got me texting as much as I do? My friend that's 22 years older than I.  I mean I texted a bit before that, but the amount of texting that goes on between myself and bff has really necessitated the need for a phone with a QWERTY keyboard and an unlimited texting plan.

And there are a lot of times it's just more convenient than calling.  Recently I've been texting her about decisions for our camping trip and the two nights she'll be staying here.  "You bringing your own pillows? We do still have some for you here." or "Hey your cot arrived, want me to put it together to be sure all the parts are there?" That certainly doesn't warrant a call. 

But sometimes if one of us misreads the tone of a text, or she has something to tell me that either would take too long to text or is best told over the phone, then we call.  She says she hates talking on the phone, and I am not too crazy about it either, generally but let me tell you, we've made good use of the free mobile to mobile minutes we get for being with the same cellular company.  There've been times we've chatted in excess of an hour.
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Judah

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Re: Texting Rudeness?
« Reply #17 on: April 24, 2013, 01:52:58 PM »
Quote
Live-chat texting seems like two people leaving notes for each other when they are in the same room and could just talk.

This.

There are times when it’s ok to text and other times when a conversation is necessary.  Texting should be a supplement, not a substitution for a real conversation.  If someone never wants to have an actual conversation they are most likely lazy, socially inept, or they are (for some reason) avoiding real live communication.

That's more than a little offensive. People have different communication styles and preferences and none of them are wrong. I don't talk on the phone. I don't like it at all. I'm not "lazy, socially inept, or they are (for some reason) avoiding real live communication", I just don't like talking on the phone.  Texting works for me.
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reflection5

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Re: Texting Rudeness?
« Reply #18 on: April 24, 2013, 01:59:22 PM »
Quote
Live-chat texting seems like two people leaving notes for each other when they are in the same room and could just talk.

This.

There are times when it’s ok to text and other times when a conversation is necessary.  Texting should be a supplement, not a substitution for a real conversation.  If someone never wants to have an actual conversation they are most likely lazy, socially inept, or they are (for some reason) avoiding real live communication.

That's more than a little offensive. People have different communication styles and preferences and none of them are wrong. I don't talk on the phone. I don't like it at all. I'm not "lazy, socially inept, or they are (for some reason) avoiding real live communication", I just don't like talking on the phone.  Texting works for me.

Who said anything about the phone?  Where in my post did I say anything about talking on the phone?  Is soneome tryingi to force you to talk on the phone?

Frankly, I don't see why you are offended.  If you NEVER want to talk to human beings in person or on the phone, and think that's okay, then don't.  However, you say texting works for you and if that's what you wish to do the rest of your life, well, good luck finding and keeping people in your life who will go along with it.
« Last Edit: April 24, 2013, 02:06:42 PM by reflection5 »

Judah

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Re: Texting Rudeness?
« Reply #19 on: April 24, 2013, 02:04:34 PM »
Who said anything about the phone?  Where in my post did I say anything about talking on the phone?

Frankly, I don't see why you are offended.  If you NEVER want to talk to human beings in person or on the phone, and think that's okay, then that's your right.  However, you say texting works for you and if that's what you wish to do the rest of your life, well, good luck finding and keeping people in your life who will go along with it.

A conversation can easily be had via text, which is what this thread is about. 
Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
Subtle hints don't work.
Strong hints don't work.
Really obvious hints don't work.
Just say it!

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reflection5

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Re: Texting Rudeness?
« Reply #20 on: April 24, 2013, 02:17:49 PM »
Who said anything about the phone?  Where in my post did I say anything about talking on the phone?

Frankly, I don't see why you are offended.  If you NEVER want to talk to human beings in person or on the phone, and think that's okay, then that's your right.  However, you say texting works for you and if that's what you wish to do the rest of your life, well, good luck finding and keeping people in your life who will go along with it.

A conversation can easily be had via text, which is what this thread is about.

Which doesn't answer my questions, but that's fine.  Your post was about how you hate talking on the phone.

Just sayin' - I don't know of anyone who can get thru life without, at some point, opening their mouth and talking (in person or on the phone).  If you can, then so be it.
« Last Edit: April 24, 2013, 02:19:50 PM by reflection5 »

cass2591

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Re: Texting Rudeness?
« Reply #21 on: April 24, 2013, 02:46:24 PM »
Reflections, it would serve you greatly if you changed the nature of your posts. Perhaps reading them objectively before you hit send, because you sure are coming off rather harshly.



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lurkerwisp

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Re: Texting Rudeness?
« Reply #22 on: April 24, 2013, 05:29:53 PM »
Who said anything about the phone?  Where in my post did I say anything about talking on the phone?

Frankly, I don't see why you are offended.  If you NEVER want to talk to human beings in person or on the phone, and think that's okay, then that's your right.  However, you say texting works for you and if that's what you wish to do the rest of your life, well, good luck finding and keeping people in your life who will go along with it.

A conversation can easily be had via text, which is what this thread is about.

Personally, I dislike texting on my phone because it's awkward and I don't have a text messaging plan which makes it expensive.  I do, however, pretty much communicate with most of my friends exclusively through text - just not phone based text messaging.  We're spread pretty far over the country now and none of us could afford to be that talkative over long distance phone call rates, but even when we were in shouting distance of each other's dorms we still used IM instead of the phone to get multiple people in one conversation at a time without having to seriously interrupt schoolwork to do so.

That said, one of my inlaws will only communicate via text messages on his phone, even when we're meeting in person.  He's deaf, and texting is how he can talk to me even though I don't know sign language.  He owns a tech company and we've a lot of interests in common that I would never be able to know about if I stuck to verbal communication as some kind of gold standard.  It's awesome that we are still able to communicate, and I am ever thankful for the technology that allows it.  :)

It sounds like OP is looking at text messaging as more of an instant messaging type thing.  When I IM a friend, I know they're online, can see that they're available, and on some chat clients can even see when my messages have been marked as read.  So in that case it's to be expected that people will answer back quickly because you can see that they're there.  IM conversations tend to start and stop and jump back erratically, but then internet connections can be fickle, and a person can't sit at a computer all the time, so that's just the nature of the beast.

Texting, on a phone, is more like email.  You can't see if the other person is available, or even has their phone on.  The message gets to them when it gets to them, so you've got to just be patient waiting on a response.  It's possible that OP's buddy isn't really entirely considering it like an IM, but more like a speedy email, while still using the IM type conventions of BRB to say that he's AFK for a while.  His lingo isn't so much matching his usage, but like PP's have said, it's just an incompatibility of texting styles going on, not something really rude.

reflection5

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Re: Texting Rudeness?
« Reply #23 on: April 24, 2013, 10:14:48 PM »
Quote
He's deaf, and texting is how he can talk to me even though I don't know sign language.  He owns a tech company and we've a lot of interests in common that I would never be able to know about if I stuck to verbal communication as some kind of gold standard.  It's awesome that we are still able to communicate, and I am ever thankful for the technology that allows it.

lurkerwisp - Yes, I forgot to mention that texting (and also email) are great for people with hearing impairments or speech impediments.

However, I’m glad I have cassette recordings of my nieces and nephews talking and singing songs when they were toddlers.  I’m happy that some friends and relatives still call once in a while and we still see each other in person and talk.  I also have good memories of phone chats with my mother and older brother.  If they were still around, I wouldn’t dream of telling them “I HATE TO TALK ON THE PHONE  >:(  SEND ME A TEXT MESSAGE.” and hanging up.
« Last Edit: April 25, 2013, 11:58:22 AM by reflection5 »

lurkerwisp

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Re: Texting Rudeness?
« Reply #24 on: April 25, 2013, 10:45:26 AM »
If they were still around, I wouldn’t dream of telling them “I HATE TO TALK IN THE PHONE  >:(  SEND ME A TEXT MESSAGE.” and hanging up.

I don't think anyone upthread said anything about hanging up on someone who calls?

NyaChan

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Re: Texting Rudeness?
« Reply #25 on: April 25, 2013, 12:43:53 PM »
If they were still around, I wouldn’t dream of telling them “I HATE TO TALK IN THE PHONE  >:(  SEND ME A TEXT MESSAGE.” and hanging up.

I don't think anyone upthread said anything about hanging up on someone who calls?

If I am initiating the conversation and would prefer to text on that occasion, I just text.  If they choose to call me back rather than texting me back, I talk.  What you described is a rude response and an extreme one at that - I don't believe anyone in this thread is advocating for that.

Moray

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Re: Texting Rudeness?
« Reply #26 on: April 25, 2013, 12:46:40 PM »
If they were still around, I wouldn’t dream of telling them “I HATE TO TALK IN THE PHONE  >:(  SEND ME A TEXT MESSAGE.” and hanging up.

I don't think anyone upthread said anything about hanging up on someone who calls?

Yeah. Where are you getting that?

Personally, I like to do both, but I primarily text, because it allows me to stay in contact with say, my sister, or the guy I'm dating, in a more casual, less response-driven manner throughout the day. If we need an immediate response, we might call, but generally, nothing's so urgent that it can't wait for an hour or two. We still talk in person and have our heart-to-hearts, but generally, we're texting folk. Sometimes, my sister or I will even say to each other "I'm kind of busy right now; text me!" and I fail to see how that makes us somehow lazy or not invested in our relationships.

We might exchange a couple of texts just because we saw a cool sculpture on the way in, or want to say "thinking of you" without having a 5-10 minute conversation. Sometimes we might just text "Squirrell!" for no reason. Because we like texting. We like that we can communicate a quick note, or have a conversation (real time, or not!) with someone without having to coordinate schedules or take a long break from whatever else we may be doing. If anything, texting keeps us more connected.
Utah

reflection5

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Re: Texting Rudeness?
« Reply #27 on: April 25, 2013, 12:55:17 PM »
The point is 1) texting is a great tool for people who are hearing or sheech impaired in some way, and 2) (for me) there have been and still are occasions when hearing the voice (in person or on the phone) of someone I care about (and them hearing mine) is important.  That’s all I was trying to convey, but I do understand that not everyone feels that way.
« Last Edit: April 25, 2013, 12:59:40 PM by reflection5 »

Moray

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Re: Texting Rudeness?
« Reply #28 on: April 25, 2013, 01:01:47 PM »
The point is 1) texting is a great tool for people who are impaired in some way 2) (for me) there have been and still are occasions when hearing the voice (in person or on the phone) of someone I care about (and them hearing mine) is important.  That’s all I was trying to convey, but I do understand that not everyone feels that way.

So it's not a good tool for people who aren't impaired? Huh?

I'm very confused as to what you meant by " I wouldn’t dream of telling them “I HATE TO TALK ON THE PHONE  >:(  SEND ME A TEXT MESSAGE.” and hanging up."

It's like you're implying that people who prefer texting would be that rude ('cause we're lazy or something), and that's mighty offensive.

Texting and calling are both great means of communication. I'm not getting the prejudice one way or the other.
Utah

reflection5

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Re: Texting Rudeness?
« Reply #29 on: April 25, 2013, 01:12:50 PM »
??? Moray -
If you will go to my (unedited) post #15 you will see that I said:

Quote
There are times when it’s ok to text and other times when a conversation is necessary.  Texting should be a supplement, not a substitution for a real conversation.

I also see nothing wrong with agreeing (with another member) that texting is a great tool for people with hearing and speech limitations.

I've gotten into enough trouble in this thread, and I really don't want to irritate the mod or other members, so even if some people want to continue to try to argue and take offense at (whatever), I have no more to say here.

Peace, out.   :)