Putting the 'I hate you' remark aside, why don't you call them?
Well, I did use to call them a lot more frequently - even though I'm really not a phone person, and I hate small talk in general; I'm independent, a bit of a loner, and I'm okay with going weeks without talking to someone, so I was
basically just calling them to keep them happy, it truly doesn't add anything much to my life - until they started in with the kvetching this time around. That just made me want to call them less, especially when taken in conjunction with all the other times they've done this in the past. And I've told them this. I've told them that the more they keep doing this, the more they're pushing me away. But it's like they suffer from selective amnesia or something.
Sometimes I've managed to bean dip or hang up the phone when they've started in, but it's just getting exhausting to deal with at all.
Once, after my parents realized that they couldn't badger me into calling them as often as they wanted, they insisted that I install a free texting app on my phone. I said, sure, but warned them that I wasn't going to necessarily respond to all of the inane just-to-say-hi messages. They said fine. But the problem is that when I did respond to a few of their just-to-say-hi messages, they began feeling entitled and got mad at me if I didn't respond to all of them. It culminated when my dad texted me to ask what I was doing one week. I said that I was at the airport (I was going to visit a friend for the weekend), and then I turned off my phone since, you know, airplane! Later, I saw that there were a bunch of additional texts from my dad: "Where?? WHY ARE YOU AT THE AIRPORT?? WHY AREN'T YOU RESPONDING TO ME??
" etc. When I called him back, as soon as he picked up, he immediately started screaming at me without giving me a chance to explain why I hadn't responded to his other texts. Okay, I understand being a bit surprised, but how about you give me a chance to explain instead of jumping down my throat and assuming that if I haven't responded to your text after mentioning the airport, it must
be because I was killed in an airplane crash?
(After that, I uninstalled the texting app and refused to put it back in, even though my parents complained.
So. Yes. Definitely silly. And exhausting.)
Because you were trained at an early age to respond to them and keep them happy? You are not responsible for their happiness. They are adults.
Yes, pretty much. "Filial piety" and all that. I'm starting to think that filial piety ain't all that it's cracked up to be.