Author Topic: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.  (Read 5115 times)

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Danika

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Re: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.
« Reply #30 on: April 21, 2013, 08:19:32 PM »
Threadjack story...

DH and I had a Big White Wedding at a very swanky mansion. We'd booked it and in the contract, it said we'd pay for beverages (sodapop as well as alcohol) plus a 20% tip. It was mandatory - no option. Sounded good as we didn't want them asking for tips from our guests.

We were talking to friends of friends several months before our wedding and we told them where we were getting married. They told us that they had attended a wedding there and there had been a gigantic tip jar on the bar! I was soooooo glad that they warned us that apparently other patrons paid the mandatory 20% tip AND the service staff had still had the audacity to put an additional tip jar up on the bar!

I immediately called the mansion and had them put in writing that I did not want any additional tip jars placed anywhere. I asked the wedding party to keep an eye out for tip jars as well, in case the mansion didn't do as instructed.

I tried to look, but we had other priorities during the wedding, of course, so I am not certain they did not put out another tip jar. However, none of us remember seeing one.

They did ignore a few other things in the contract though. We specified that no wine over $10/glass would be served to guests. After we paid the final bill, we saw that they had served some $25 glasses of wine. Things like that.

LifeOnPluto

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Re: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.
« Reply #31 on: April 21, 2013, 11:26:35 PM »
Definitely crass of the hostess.

In this situation, would it have been rude for guests to ask the hostess the cost per guest, so they knew how much to tip? Because a $20 tip would equate to a meal anywhere between $100 to $200.

doodlemor

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Re: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.
« Reply #32 on: April 22, 2013, 12:28:38 AM »
Here's a weird possibility.  Maybe the hostess didn't actually *hire* the chef.  Perhaps they had some sort of a **deal** worked out that the woman would work for the tips.  This might be something someone would do if they were trying to start up a catering business. 

Whatever went on, this is so incredibly rude.  My gabber is flasted, my gob is smacked.  I would have had little or no money to contribute, as I seldom carry cash to such occasions.

magicdomino

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Re: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.
« Reply #33 on: April 22, 2013, 11:09:37 AM »

I also HATE any service where you pay for a ticket and no mention is made anywhere of tips.  Not on the website, not when you buy a ticket, nowhere.  But at the end they brazenly ask for tips.  And I am not talking about dinners, I expect to tip servers when I go out to dinner.  I'm talking about other events where there are employees, presumably making more than $2.17 per hour, but at the end of the "event", someone gets on a mic and says please tip our wonderful employees if you enjoyed this event and they have someone holding a hat on the way out, so everyone can see if you do or you don't.  I hate that. Just tell me the REAL cost of the event UPFRONT.  I will pay it or not go, but don't spring it on me like that.  I also don't carry cash, ever.


I carry cash, but the exact amount varies, and is normally on the low side.  Also, I just don't expect to tip everyone and their second cousin on the left.  Like Doodlemor, just tell me the whole price up front and I'll work from there.

cheyne

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Re: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.
« Reply #34 on: April 22, 2013, 11:30:52 AM »
I always carry cash in several denominations but my flabber is still gasted with what the "hostess" pulled!  I can't even imagine being asked to tip a chef in someone else's home.  Another case of having a party they can't afford? 

Bottlecaps

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Re: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.
« Reply #35 on: April 22, 2013, 01:00:24 PM »
Crass.  Very.

POD. She wanted to hire a chef and invite her friends over, as guests, for the dinner party. The catering and the costs thereof were her responsibility, not yours.

I could even understand it more if she hadn't requested it, but if you all, as guests, had decided that the chef was so fantastic that you wanted to show some monetary appreciation for such a good meal aside from what your friend was already paying her. But the hostess actually asking you all to take care of the tip? So very crass.
"Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don't fit into boxes." -Tori Amos


gramma dishes

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Re: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.
« Reply #36 on: April 22, 2013, 01:20:00 PM »
The sad thing is that perhaps the chef had been hoping (read that 'counting on') the guests all thinking that she was such a fantastic chef that they would hire her in the future for their own dinner parties or otherwise get some sort of advertising value from this dinner party.

Instead, even though the chef did a magnificent job of preparing and serving a delicious meal, the guests in attendance all had to leave with a bad taste in their mouths.  :-\