Author Topic: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.  (Read 4856 times)

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Gumbysqueak

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This occurred last night. Wonderful dinner party and great food. The hostess hired a chef. The chef also provided the dinning service. The hostess has been a friend of my DH for 30 years and a nice successful intelligent women. At the end of the service I was talking to a gentleman and suddenly noticed everyone pulling out their wallets. The hostess asked for everyone to tip the chef. Thankfully, everyone had cash.

This is bizarre. I have never been to a dinner party, catered or not, and asked to provide a tip. Is this a new trend?


violetminnow

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Re: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.
« Reply #1 on: April 20, 2013, 06:09:54 PM »
Wow. That's pretty bad. I can't imagine anyone thinking that was normal.

On the upside I'm betting that's the best tip the chef ever got, an entire dinner party each giving their own tip rather than just the person who hired him. He must've made off like a bandit.

Thipu1

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Re: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.
« Reply #2 on: April 20, 2013, 06:15:22 PM »
I've never heard of anything like that. 

Guests may  be asked to applaud and toast the chef. Guests should not be pumped to provide part of the chef's remuneration.  That is something that should be done by the host. 

CakeBeret

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Re: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.
« Reply #3 on: April 20, 2013, 07:04:51 PM »
Horribly rude. I would be upset with the hostess, especially since I don't carry cash and would have been embarrassed to not have any cash to contribute.
"From a procrastination standpoint, today has been wildly successful."

gramma dishes

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Re: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.
« Reply #4 on: April 20, 2013, 07:13:07 PM »
As a 'guest' that would have made me very uncomfortable.  When you are invited to a hosted dinner party you don't expect to be handed a bill as though your were a restaurant patron. 

Like Cake Beret, I rarely carry cash to parties anyway.  So I'd have been totally embarrassed as well as being more than just a little chagrined at being asked to pay something toward my own dinner in the first place.

Sharnita

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Re: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.
« Reply #5 on: April 20, 2013, 07:28:33 PM »
The thing is, when I go out I tip the waiter, not the chef. 

NyaChan

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Re: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.
« Reply #6 on: April 20, 2013, 07:31:30 PM »
I believe the chef in this case was performing the service function as well as cooking.  But I consider him to be in essence a caterer or catering staff - the host should have handled the tip, guests should never have to pull out their wallets at a hosted event.  If she couldn't afford to or did not want to tip him, she shouldn't have hired him and instead have hosted a party she could afford.

gramma dishes

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Re: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.
« Reply #7 on: April 20, 2013, 07:34:05 PM »
...   The chef also provided the dinning service.  ...

I don't know if Gumbysqueak meant he also served the food or if she meant he supplied the table linens, plates, glassware, etc., but it may be that he not only cooked the food, but acted as waiter as well.

Either way when I'm invited to a hosted dinner party, I don't expect to tip anyone:-\

Gumbysqueak

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Re: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.
« Reply #8 on: April 20, 2013, 08:10:32 PM »
OP here. The hostess is nice and well off. (Side Note: the Chef is a she.) I didn't have any cash on me, but my husband cares cash. If I had went alone I would have to ask someone for a loan. When I go out I take a clutch with ID and credit card and a compact. On the upside most people gave 5 or 20 dollars each to the Chef.

Edited since a is no the same as I.
« Last Edit: April 20, 2013, 10:43:03 PM by Gumbysqueak »

gramma dishes

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Re: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.
« Reply #9 on: April 20, 2013, 08:41:01 PM »
...   On the upside most people gave 5 or 20 dollars each to the Chef.

I'm confused.  Why is that an "upside"?  (Well, for the chef it is, obviously, but I mean for anyone else.)

Did this hostess announce in her invitations "Our dinner will be prepared and served by highly acclaimed Chef Cheryl so please come prepared to tip her generously!"?

Sharnita

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Re: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.
« Reply #10 on: April 20, 2013, 08:51:08 PM »
How did people decide how much to tip? I mean, I know by looking at my bill and figuring out the percentage but I assume you don't know what the chef was charging per person.

Amara

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Re: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.
« Reply #11 on: April 20, 2013, 09:16:21 PM »
I think that's beyond rude. And rather than being annoyed I'd be angry. Very angry. I'd add to the tips because I would be so startled, but I'd also never accept another invitation to any of her events again whether at her home or elsewhere.

peaches

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Re: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.
« Reply #12 on: April 20, 2013, 09:28:33 PM »
Bizzare.

I wouldn't be borrowing money to participate in this. I'd just say "Yes, that was a lovely meal! But I didn't come prepared to tip."

If I had the money, I would tip. But I'd be startled (and fuming).

Luci

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Re: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.
« Reply #13 on: April 20, 2013, 09:30:03 PM »
Frankly, I would not have paid whether I had the cash or not.

When we are hit for a charitable donation after a hosted dinner, we don't contribute, so I wouldn't do it here. Some might not see that as relevant, but it is to us. Please don't hijack the thread with that small point.

I agree, the Chef probably made out  like a bandit.

At one wedding reception we went to, the bartender put out a tip jar. As we were paying the bar bill, we told her to put it away. We tipped her well at the end, which was our responsibility. I think pop and beer were free, the guests paid for mixed drinks. We tipped for the whole bill.

GSNW

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Re: Hostess hired a chef and then asked the guests to tip the chef.
« Reply #14 on: April 20, 2013, 09:32:05 PM »
That would really put me off.  If the hostess decides that a hired chef is necessary for her party, she should be prepared to pay costs associated with said chef, including a gratuity.  What if a guest had no cash?  Very awkward and uncool all around.