Author Topic: Gift question about BBQ/shower  (Read 3075 times)

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WillyNilly

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Re: Gift question about BBQ/shower
« Reply #15 on: April 24, 2013, 12:55:14 AM »
The very word "shower" in relation to a party means "shower the GOH with gifts. If the GOH doesn't want gifts calling the party a "shower" is just patently wrong. And hosting your own shower is totally tacky and uncouth.

If your sister wants to host a BBQ/craft party she can host a BBQ/craft party with no mention of the baby at all. Just "hey friends and family now that the weather has warmed up please join us for a BBQ and craft party Saturday June 21!"

Eeep!

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Re: Gift question about BBQ/shower
« Reply #16 on: April 24, 2013, 12:30:08 PM »
The very word "shower" in relation to a party means "shower the GOH with gifts. If the GOH doesn't want gifts calling the party a "shower" is just patently wrong. And hosting your own shower is totally tacky and uncouth.

If your sister wants to host a BBQ/craft party she can host a BBQ/craft party with no mention of the baby at all. Just "hey friends and family now that the weather has warmed up please join us for a BBQ and craft party Saturday June 21!"

But I think this would still be weird if you go there and the crafts were baby-themed.  I'm picturing where you decorate onesies or something that typically is then given to the baby. So you are inviting people over to make crafts for YOU.
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mandycorn

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Re: Gift question about BBQ/shower
« Reply #17 on: April 24, 2013, 12:34:37 PM »
Yeah, I think if she's hosting, she can't do anything that results in gifts for herself. No crafts for the baby, no calling it a shower, no asking people to bring books or frozen casseroles, or any of the other suggestions that come up at showers.

She can throw a lovely (theme-less) bbq though. She doesn't even need a reason, she can just invite people over to enjoy her hospitality. If some of those people choose to bring gifts (with absolutely no prompting on her part), then she can receive them graciously, open them quietly, and thank the giver within a few days after the party.
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Hmmmmm

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Re: Gift question about BBQ/shower
« Reply #18 on: April 24, 2013, 12:56:10 PM »
What is this non-shower BBQ being called? What are you inviting people to attend? Is this a "Come celebrate that George and Martha are having a baby! BBQ at 5," or "Martha's having a baby and we're having a party!"?

She is calling it a shower. It's like, hey, it's a shower, come eat BBQ and hang out.

I'll be the dissenting opinion. I don't think gifts at a shower are required to be opened at the shower. I've been to a few co-ed wedding showers where the gifts weren't opened and we were all thankfull.

So I have no issue with your sister not opening gifts at the shower.

However, I do have issue with her hosting her own shower. To me since she is calling it a shower, she is expecting gifts. Just because she isn't registered doesn't mean that I wouldn't feel like I needed to bring a gift if I was invited to a shower.

If your sister is really wanting gifts but is trying to skirt the issue of "self hosting a shower" by not opening gifts then she hasn't suceeded.

If your sister really just wants to have "Yeah, we're having a baby. Come celebrate with us while we still can BBQ" then she shouldn't call it a shower. An invitation that says "Come celebrate with us as we await our new addition to our family" would imply to me the couple wants to have some fun but a gift isn't required. And if someone does arrive with a gift, it should be taken, giver thanked and then put discreetly away with a comment of "Oh, thank you so much, but I'll open it later. What can I get you to drink."