I have been in those trenches. My ex MIL was such a boundary trampler that bulldozers bowed to her. Let me tell you how married life will be if this woman is not reined in. You and LordL will make a decision about your life, she will decide that is not how it should be, so she starts whispering in his ear that he should really think about it, that isn't a good decision, mom has never steered him wrong and BAM she has him dancing like a marionette. You two argue, he comes back around to the original decision, she starts all over, but with a little more force..he pushes back because he does love you, so she backs off. But only to regroup and decide her next step. She won't stop, she will just change tactics, be it PA behavior, tears and threats, fake illnesses, and outright lies about you. She has been that voice in his head for so long and she will.not.give.that.up. It isn't you, it is her losing power over her son. But this will cause constant issues for you two and he will feel pulled in both directions instead of standing up to her, because that is just how it is done. We all do it mommy's way or we all suffer, but while she is happy LordL is miserable because he loves you both but can't figure out who he should be siding with, and you are miserable because instead of being a family unto yourselves, you have an interloper running things. I cannot stand my ex MIL, and now that her precious boy, who I finally gave back to her because I couldn't be the other woman in that threesome any more , has passed away and our DD is almost 18, I no longer will deal with her at all. Please look into couples counseling, but phrase it to him as "We need a way to work together as a team in our life" instead of "We need to deprogram you from whatever hold that woman has on you". It is wonderful when the man you want to spend the rest of your life with loves his family, but when you play second fiddle to them and let them have a say in your marriage, it is an unbearable life.
