Author Topic: To share or not ... that is the question  (Read 34616 times)

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Cuddlepie

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Re: To share or not ... that is the question
« Reply #180 on: May 11, 2013, 08:08:45 PM »
Up till now, Lodger has not told me whether or not she has a new place to live in.  Last night I asked her if she knew when she would be moving out and she tersely replied that she has not found anywhere yet.  I suspect that she has not even tried to find somewhere as she hasn't been anywhere except to uni.  >:(

Amara

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Re: To share or not ... that is the question
« Reply #181 on: May 11, 2013, 08:45:47 PM »
She might be hoping you'll change your mind. I wouldn't ask her any more about her plans. I assume you set not just a date but also a time for the move-out deadline?

Morticia

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Re: To share or not ... that is the question
« Reply #182 on: May 11, 2013, 08:46:43 PM »
I wouldn't ask, either. Whether or not she has a new place is irrelevant. She has her move out date. If she ends up homeless, that is on her.
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gramma dishes

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Re: To share or not ... that is the question
« Reply #183 on: May 11, 2013, 09:21:00 PM »
...    Last night I asked her if she knew when she would be moving out ...

Umm ... she knows when she is moving out, right?  Didn't you tell her two weeks? 

artk2002

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Re: To share or not ... that is the question
« Reply #184 on: May 11, 2013, 09:41:57 PM »
Don't ask, tell!!
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

snowdragon

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Re: To share or not ... that is the question
« Reply #185 on: May 11, 2013, 10:28:32 PM »
you gave her, her move out day. If she is not out by that date - be prepared to legally evict her.

TootsNYC

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Re: To share or not ... that is the question
« Reply #186 on: May 12, 2013, 12:06:59 AM »
Up till now, Lodger has not told me whether or not she has a new place to live in.  Last night I asked her if she knew when she would be moving out and she tersely replied that she has not found anywhere yet.  I suspect that she has not even tried to find somewhere as she hasn't been anywhere except to uni.  >:(

But you KNOW when she is moving out. Two weeks from when you gave her notice.

The more you ask her ANYTHING about it, and if you keep using words like that, you are giving her openings to exploit.

AngelicGamer

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Re: To share or not ... that is the question
« Reply #187 on: May 12, 2013, 12:19:02 AM »
I'm really hoping the when is a typo.  OP, please come back and tell us it's a typo.  If only so I don't have to keep on clinging so tightly to that hope.  ;D




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Cuddlepie

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Re: To share or not ... that is the question
« Reply #188 on: May 12, 2013, 01:20:35 AM »
Up till now, Lodger has not told me whether or not she has a new place to live in.  Last night I asked her if she knew when she would be moving out and she tersely replied that she has not found anywhere yet.  I suspect that she has not even tried to find somewhere as she hasn't been anywhere except to uni.  >:(

"When she would be moving out" was a brief post of my question to Lodger.  My question to her was worded  which day, Saturday or Sunday and what time, as I want to be at home when she goes.  Sorry to confuse you  :-[.

Edited to add:  I am going to get 'official advice' from a government dept so I know what I can legally do, if Lodger refuses to move out next week-end.  She is 'sick' today and I doubt whether she is looking for new lodgings, even after my prompting last night.
« Last Edit: May 12, 2013, 01:26:19 AM by Cuddlepie »

Redsoil

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Re: To share or not ... that is the question
« Reply #189 on: May 12, 2013, 04:48:16 AM »
"Lodger, don't forget you'll need to have your items organised to move out on *date*.  I'll need the keys back before you go, and if you have an address you'd like to leave with me, I can forward on any mail."  Then stop - do not budge on this point.  She IS moving out, you're simply taking care of minor details that this involves.  She can go live with her parents, or a freind or even the YHA if needed.
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SoCalVal

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Re: To share or not ... that is the question
« Reply #190 on: May 12, 2013, 12:21:56 PM »
I, too, am not sure why you are asking if she has yet found a place or asking her when she'll be moving out.  She has an end date; I'd be prepared to be home all day both days of the weekend if not sure.  Actually, if you have given her until Sunday, then she would have until Sunday (if you gave her until Saturday, then you need to maintain she only has through Saturday to be out...then change the locks).  As the lodger, I'd wonder why it was any of your business if I found a place yet and would resent you for asking given the circumstances (e.g. -- why would you care as you are making me leave).



Cuddlepie

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Re: To share or not ... that is the question
« Reply #191 on: May 12, 2013, 05:46:38 PM »
It certainly is my business to know when Lodger is moving out and since she hasn't mentioned anything to me, I am within my rights to follow this up with her.  Lodger doesn't have her own transport and she told me she would ask her aunt and uncle which day they would be free and what time and then let me know.  She has not done this, therefore I am being proactive just in case she thinks I will let matters slide and she can stay longer.

If Lodger told me it was none of my business and I could stay home all weekend waiting for her to leave, me accommodating her and her relatives schedule would stop and Lodger would be given a day and time.  I presume that in the eyes of the law reasonableness works both ways!

NyaChan

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Re: To share or not ... that is the question
« Reply #192 on: May 12, 2013, 05:51:23 PM »
My landlady wanted to know when I was moving out.  I don't think that is unreasonable, especially so when the lodger is moving out of OP's house.  She needs to know what day there will be people coming in and out carrying furniture and/or boxes so that she can plan around it. 

citadelle

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Re: To share or not ... that is the question
« Reply #193 on: May 12, 2013, 06:01:31 PM »
I think the point of it is not to become enmeshed in the details of her moving out. Who, how, timing, etc.. really do not matter to you. What matters is that she is gone on the date you've given.

Cuddlepie

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Re: To share or not ... that is the question
« Reply #194 on: May 12, 2013, 06:09:13 PM »
I think the point of it is not to become enmeshed in the details of her moving out. Who, how, timing, etc.. really do not matter to you. What matters is that she is gone on the date you've given.

The details do matter to me.  I need to be home.  Firstly, to ensure that nothing of mine is accidently taken by Lodger and secondly, we need to sign off on paperwork detailing any damages that may or may not be caused by Lodger and her relatives.