To share or not ... that is the question

[DottyG]

We had a somewhat similiar situation with my family.  We had someone that was renting a condo from us.  This was someone we like and trust.  Long story short, though, she was supposed to have the condo on the market to sell.  She wasn't doing that.  So we had to go ahead and put it on the market ourselves.  Not long ago, it did sell.  And the lady had to move out.

I asked my parents just this past weekend where she went.  They said that they think she went to live near her son.  But that it's really not their concern.  There was a deadline, she moved out, and where she went at that point was up to her.

This is someone we like.  So it's not just a situation that occurs with a person like the OP and her boarder where there are problems.  Once a resident in your home, condo, whatever leaves, where they go isn't the other person's business.

[veronaz]

Once a resident in your home, condo, whatever leaves, where they go isn't the other person's business.

I agree.  Whether the person has found a place, whether they are looking, where they are going to be staying - none of that is the business of the landlord (especially in these circumstances).  It's not like there are friends.

[LeveeWoman]

I wouldn't want a hostile person to have one last crack at my home and my possessions without my being present.

Me either, so I would make sure I was there.  It seems fair to ascertain exactly when that will be, but any info beyond that, like where she's going, if she's found a place yet, etc. is unnecessary.

I've not read where Cuddlepie has asked where she's moving.

I didn't say she did.

No. 203:

Me either, so I would make sure I was there.  It seems fair to ascertain exactly when that will be, but any info beyond that, like where she's going, if she's found a place yet, etc. is unnecessary.

[gramma dishes]

...  As far as any mail that might come in the interim (before the change takes effect), maybe the two of you can come to an agreement about placing her mail in a concealed place on the porch or someplace.   ...

I personally would not want to leave it on my porch or anywhere else near my home.  That would seem (to me) to make me accountable for its safety.  I think I'd just print the words:  "No longer at this address." on the envelope and let the post office deal with it.

[veronaz]

...  As far as any mail that might come in the interim (before the change takes effect), maybe the two of you can come to an agreement about placing her mail in a concealed place on the porch or someplace.   ...

I personally would not want to leave it on my porch or anywhere else near my home.  That would seem (to me) to make me accountable for its safety.  I think I'd just print the words:  "No longer at this address." on the envelope and let the post office deal with it.

Yes, that might be best.  When she actually moves out I might remind her to file a change of address with the post office if she hadn't done so.

[gramma dishes]

...  I think I'd just print the words:  "No longer at this address." on the envelope and let the post office deal with it.

Advance warning:  momentary threadjack

Can one of you English majors tell me how to handle that double sentence I wrote above.  I seem to remember that you don't include any finalizing mark (period, question mark, exclamation point) until the end of the sentence, but sometimes the enclosed sentence being quoted may have a different quotation mark than the sentence in its entirety.  I know I screwed that up in that sentence (even though in that case there weren't conflicting end points), but don't know how it really should have been written.

Can someone please jog my memory on this?

[Miss Unleaded]

It feels as though in the eyes of a lot of Ehellions the OP can't do anything right at this point.  Also this conversation is dangerously close to entering legal territory. 

I'm really not seeing where the OP did wrong in trying to ascertain when her tenant was moving out.

[NyaChan]

It feels as though in the eyes of a lot of Ehellions the OP can't do anything right at this point.  Also this conversation is dangerously close to entering legal territory. 

I'm really not seeing where the OP did wrong in trying to ascertain when her tenant was moving out.

Agreed. 

[veronaz]

When I told Lodger that she had 2 weeks to move out, she was surprised and not happy at all.  I guess she didn't think I would actually do so.

OP, I see in Post #174 you said you told lodger she has two weeks to move out.  Does this mean you didn't give her written notice?

[Shoo]

I wouldn't want a hostile person to have one last crack at my home and my possessions without my being present.

Me either, so I would make sure I was there.  It seems fair to ascertain exactly when that will be, but any info beyond that, like where she's going, if she's found a place yet, etc. is unnecessary.

I've not read where Cuddlepie has asked where she's moving.

I didn't say she did.

No. 203:

Me either, so I would make sure I was there.  It seems fair to ascertain exactly when that will be, but any info beyond that, like where she's going, if she's found a place yet, etc. is unnecessary.

I don't understand why you are nit picking this.  I was only mentioning the kind of info she shouldn't ask for when the tenant moves out.  I didn't say she DID ask for it.  Jeesh.

[LeveeWoman]

I wouldn't want a hostile person to have one last crack at my home and my possessions without my being present.

Me either, so I would make sure I was there.  It seems fair to ascertain exactly when that will be, but any info beyond that, like where she's going, if she's found a place yet, etc. is unnecessary.

I've not read where Cuddlepie has asked where she's moving.

I didn't say she did.

No. 203:

Me either, so I would make sure I was there.  It seems fair to ascertain exactly when that will be, but any info beyond that, like where she's going, if she's found a place yet, etc. is unnecessary.

I don't understand why you are nit picking this.  I was only mentioning the kind of info she shouldn't ask for when the tenant moves out.  I didn't say she DID ask for it.  Jeesh.

I wasn't aware that using your own words was picking nits.

[Moray]

I wouldn't want a hostile person to have one last crack at my home and my possessions without my being present.

Me either, so I would make sure I was there.  It seems fair to ascertain exactly when that will be, but any info beyond that, like where she's going, if she's found a place yet, etc. is unnecessary.

I've not read where Cuddlepie has asked where she's moving.

I didn't say she did.

No. 203:

Me either, so I would make sure I was there.  It seems fair to ascertain exactly when that will be, but any info beyond that, like where she's going, if she's found a place yet, etc. is unnecessary.

I don't understand why you are nit picking this.  I was only mentioning the kind of info she shouldn't ask for when the tenant moves out.  I didn't say she DID ask for it.  Jeesh.

I wasn't aware that using your own words was picking nits.

LeveeWoman, Shoo has already clarified that she was using that as a potential example of an inappropriate question, not indicting the OP for asking that question. Maybe it's time to let it go.

[FauxFoodist]

Presumably she can start moving her stuff out whenever she wants.  The only part you need to be there for is to do a final walk through and to sign the paperwork.  Since you didn't take a deposit, you will likely need to sue her if you need to collect additional money, since she doesn't sound like she will be forthcoming with it.

"If Lodger told me it was none of my business and I could stay home all weekend waiting for her to leave, me accommodating her and her relatives schedule would stop and Lodger would be given a day and time.  I presume that in the eyes of the law reasonableness works both ways" 

I don't think you are being reasonable at all.  You gave her notice to move out.  A landlord doesn't get to tell you when you need to move unless that was in the initial contract, just when you need to be out by.  If you want to be there, that's understandable, but you're going to need to work around her schedule.

Just as making her wait for the decision was teaching her a lesson, this is doing the same.  As long as she's out by her last day, how she accomplishes this is really up to her.  From a practical standpoint, what can you do if she doesn't tell you when she's planning on moving out, make her stay, not let her move out even though the deadline has past?

Pod, to a point.  Lodger has to move during reasonable hours but, in my experience, "reasonable hours" are not defined by Cuddlepie but by rental laws or agreements.  When DH was moving out of his apartment, he had paid rent on it up to a certain date.  The property manager wanted him out by an earlier date, but I (vehemently) pointed out to DH that he had his apartment until the date that he paid and did not have to be out any sooner.  The only thing the property manager could dictate was the reasonable hours during which DH could move.  This isn't an "I'm doing you a favor so you do me a favor situation"; it's a business transaction.

[dawbs]

Pod, to a point.  Lodger has to move during reasonable hours but, in my experience, "reasonable hours" are not defined by Cuddlepie but by rental laws or agreements.  When DH was moving out of his apartment, he had paid rent on it up to a certain date.  The property manager wanted him out by an earlier date, but I (vehemently) pointed out to DH that he had his apartment until the date that he paid and did not have to be out any sooner.  The only thing the property manager could dictate was the reasonable hours during which DH could move.  This isn't an "I'm doing you a favor so you do me a favor situation"; it's a business transaction.

^this is where I land too.

Which is why when I helped property manage/landlord, I didn't care when people moved out, but I would end the discussion with something like "Ok, we will plan on doing the final walkthrough of the property on May 31st.  Does 3:00 work for you?"

Use the assumptive close.

[NyaChan]

But did that property manager live in the same house as you?  There is a difference between moving out of an apartment owned by someone else and moving out of someone's home.   The disturbance to the apartment owner is nil, while the home owner who lives in the same space being moved out of is going to have some disruption.