Author Topic: Neighbourly weirdness? (ie, not being the "weird" neighbour)  (Read 8599 times)

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snowdragon

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Re: Neighbourly weirdness? (ie, not being the "weird" neighbour)
« Reply #45 on: April 11, 2013, 08:25:24 PM »
I would not be pleased to have you pop over and knock on my door and would refuse your "request" ( I have a no trespass sign on the front lawn) .  My next door neighbor however would love to see you and would talk your ear off and a third - well you're a braver soul than I if you brave the geese in his fenced yard.

My point is everyone is going to feel differently, and as long as you take no for an answer, respect no trespassing signs and fences and don't interfere with animals - you should be ok

Why would this make you not pleased? I don't understand, and I'm just curious. Would it be the principle of asking for the branch, or that you want to keep the branches? I think I'm confused because I understood it to be a genuine request on knitterly's part, but the way you have put request in inverted commas implies that it's not. But you can't read tone over the Internet so I wanted to check!

I got the impression that snowdragon's point about being "not pleased" was related more to the act of knocking on the door at a house with a "No trespassing" sign than to the request itself. She has clearly indicated that she doesn't want people coming on her property by posting a "No trespassing" sign. Therefore, it makes sense that she would be annoyed if someone ignored the sign to knock on her door anyway, especially if their request/reason for knocking was purely for their benefit rather than hers. I.e., there's nothing inherently wrong with making the request, but it's wrong to ignore a home-owner's signals that uninvited door-knockers are not welcome.

   This.  If someone ignores the no trespass sign - anything they ask will get a "No". I do not grant favors for people who have proven by their action ( Ignoring the no trespassing  sign) that they have no regard for anything but what they want. 

Jaelle

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Re: Neighbourly weirdness? (ie, not being the "weird" neighbour)
« Reply #46 on: April 11, 2013, 09:18:45 PM »
Add me to the list of people who don't think it's weird in the slightest. :) In fact, I think it's really cool.

And I'd love to see some of your work.
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Ida

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Re: Neighbourly weirdness? (ie, not being the "weird" neighbour)
« Reply #47 on: April 11, 2013, 10:57:59 PM »
Not even remotely weird, good heavens.

Here, we'd use the neighborhood googlegroup for such a request first. If you anticipate something really yummy in the debris, maybe post a letter to the homeowner/s?

Once word gets out, you might find that people will keep an eye out for what you'd want.
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Gyburc

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Re: Neighbourly weirdness? (ie, not being the "weird" neighbour)
« Reply #48 on: April 12, 2013, 06:21:30 AM »
I don't see this as 'weird' - I see it as quirky and interesting.

Then again, we do have an arrangement with one of our neighbours who often buys our duck and goose eggs. He also goes out sea-fishing, and whenever he has a surplus catch he knocks on our door.  And last summer, we had a nice lady come round and ask if she could have some leaves off our raspberry canes to make tea for her pregnant guinea-pig.  ;D
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Thipu1

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Re: Neighbourly weirdness? (ie, not being the "weird" neighbour)
« Reply #49 on: April 12, 2013, 10:39:54 AM »
Add me to the list of people who don't think it's weird in the slightest. :) In fact, I think it's really cool.

And I'd love to see some of your work.

I'd love to see your work too. Are pictures posted anywhere?

'Weird' neighbors of your sort are the people who make a neighborhood a neighborhood. 

Knitterly

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Re: Neighbourly weirdness? (ie, not being the "weird" neighbour)
« Reply #50 on: April 12, 2013, 10:45:56 AM »
Add me to the list of people who don't think it's weird in the slightest. :) In fact, I think it's really cool.

And I'd love to see some of your work.

I'd love to see your work too. Are pictures posted anywhere?

'Weird' neighbors of your sort are the people who make a neighborhood a neighborhood.

I posted one in the Craftiness folder.  So far, that's the only one I have.

I'll post more as I do more.  Right now, I'm just working on spinning tools.  But I might try my hand at something more artistic as my skill improves.

jaxsue

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Re: Neighbourly weirdness? (ie, not being the "weird" neighbour)
« Reply #51 on: April 12, 2013, 11:09:51 AM »
Add me to the list of people who don't think it's weird. I live in a neighborhood like this now, and I am so much happier than when I was living in a huge apt building where the social isolation was horrible (for me, a social person).

Calistoga

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Re: Neighbourly weirdness? (ie, not being the "weird" neighbour)
« Reply #52 on: April 12, 2013, 11:44:32 AM »
Well. If I had someone come in to my yard...my dog would go nutsy coocoo on them and they'd run away I'm sure. BUT if they made it all the way to the door... I'd be weirded out. I'm rarely home by myself, and because of some bad experiences at a former apartment, having someone come over while I'm alone really bothers me. I wouldn't feel too comfortable giving you run of my yard to get sticks. However, if you saw me outside and asked if you could have my bundled sticks, I'd be more than happy to give them to you and even bring them over if I saw one I thought you'd like. I guess I just don't want anyone in my yard at all...it feels invasive.

hobish

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Re: Neighbourly weirdness? (ie, not being the "weird" neighbour)
« Reply #53 on: April 12, 2013, 01:17:18 PM »
It is not mean spirited to suggest that if someone has a Don't Do This sign on their property it would be a little odd for them to do it on other people's. I mean, the sign says "If you don't have a LEGITIMATE reason to be here, please go away." Who is to say knocking on doors asking for debris is legitimate business? The homeowner, obviously; but it isn't mean spirited to suggest other home owners may feel the way Knitterly does. She wants people to go away ... maybe they do, too.

I want sales people to not ring my doorbell when my baby is sleeping because it interrutps her naps and frequently means she won't go back down.

I hope I can make a few things really clear:
1) If I don't have my "don't ring the bell" sign up, the bell is fair game (to all but solicitors - especially that same lawn care company who keeps harassing the entire neighbourhood).
2) You can't read the sign from the door.
3) If someone had a sign on their lawn or door or anything, I would not bother them.  Period.  I would respect their privacy.
4) I am not the neighbourhood grouch.  I am also not the only person in the neighbourhood who is flat out annoyed by the sheer quantity of scammy salespeople we get flocking through here.

I really don't see my request to please not ring my bell because the baby is sleeping as conveying that I never want to meet my neighbours.  It's not a "do not disturb" sign.  It's an "I don't want to buy your junk" and a "please for the love of deity don't wake up my sleeping kid" sign.  I would not find it at all strange if a neighbour with a sign stating that they didn't want to be disturbed because their baby is sleeping came up and knocked on my door during a non-nap hour.  I wouldn't find it strange at all.  But then, I might, myself, be a little strange.  The jury's still out on that.   ;)

I think I am being misunderstood here – I really wouldn’t have a problem with it, and I don’t think most of my neighbors would, either. It would just be a head scratcher coming from someone who has a sign on their door that plainly says go away. I wouldn’t expect No Dogs lady to bring her dog wandering into my yard, I wouldn’t expect someone who hung a No Parking sign at their own house to park in front of mine, and I wouldn’t expect the lady with the go away sign to randomly knock on my door looking for neighborliness. None of them would bother me … I’d just be a little “Huh?” about it. There’s nothing mean spirited about it, it just is.
And yes, I understand Your Child Is Sleeping. C’mon now. I also know that "LEGITIMATE" is subjective and "go away" does not convey a whole lot of neighborly love. And that's fine. It's just a little incongruous.

« Last Edit: April 12, 2013, 01:19:28 PM by hobish »
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Knitterly

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Re: Neighbourly weirdness? (ie, not being the "weird" neighbour)
« Reply #54 on: April 12, 2013, 03:20:33 PM »
It is not mean spirited to suggest that if someone has a Don't Do This sign on their property it would be a little odd for them to do it on other people's. I mean, the sign says "If you don't have a LEGITIMATE reason to be here, please go away." Who is to say knocking on doors asking for debris is legitimate business? The homeowner, obviously; but it isn't mean spirited to suggest other home owners may feel the way Knitterly does. She wants people to go away ... maybe they do, too.

I want sales people to not ring my doorbell when my baby is sleeping because it interrutps her naps and frequently means she won't go back down.

I hope I can make a few things really clear:
1) If I don't have my "don't ring the bell" sign up, the bell is fair game (to all but solicitors - especially that same lawn care company who keeps harassing the entire neighbourhood).
2) You can't read the sign from the door.
3) If someone had a sign on their lawn or door or anything, I would not bother them.  Period.  I would respect their privacy.
4) I am not the neighbourhood grouch.  I am also not the only person in the neighbourhood who is flat out annoyed by the sheer quantity of scammy salespeople we get flocking through here.

I really don't see my request to please not ring my bell because the baby is sleeping as conveying that I never want to meet my neighbours.  It's not a "do not disturb" sign.  It's an "I don't want to buy your junk" and a "please for the love of deity don't wake up my sleeping kid" sign.  I would not find it at all strange if a neighbour with a sign stating that they didn't want to be disturbed because their baby is sleeping came up and knocked on my door during a non-nap hour.  I wouldn't find it strange at all.  But then, I might, myself, be a little strange.  The jury's still out on that.   ;)

I think I am being misunderstood here – I really wouldn’t have a problem with it, and I don’t think most of my neighbors would, either. It would just be a head scratcher coming from someone who has a sign on their door that plainly says go away. I wouldn’t expect No Dogs lady to bring her dog wandering into my yard, I wouldn’t expect someone who hung a No Parking sign at their own house to park in front of mine, and I wouldn’t expect the lady with the go away sign to randomly knock on my door looking for neighborliness. None of them would bother me … I’d just be a little “Huh?” about it. There’s nothing mean spirited about it, it just is.
And yes, I understand Your Child Is Sleeping. C’mon now. I also know that "LEGITIMATE" is subjective and "go away" does not convey a whole lot of neighborly love. And that's fine. It's just a little incongruous.

I think the issue that I (and a few other posters) have with what you're saying is that you seem to be implying that I'm the lady with the "go away" sign, and therefore also have no desire to be neighbourly.  That may not actually be what you are saying, but I have gotten that impression from the way your posts have been phrased.  I just feel like "Baby is sleeping, please go away" isn't the same as "go away".   I'm not sure how I can convey to you that the sign isn't up all the time and that I would also respect any "do not disturb" type signs on anyone else's property.  I just don't think it would be at all out of line for someone with a "baby sleeping" sign to approach neighbours during non-baby-sleeping times. 

I DO agree that it would be awfully hypocritical of someone to have such a sign on their door and then to ignore such signs on other people's doors. 

In any case, LK and I just got home from a nice leisurely stroll around the neighbourhood.  We had a fairly good sized ice storm last night and there were many big downed branches strewn about.  I managed to get a really great bundle of beautiful branches and twigs from the sidewalk and the middle of the road.

A few neighbours were out clearing their driveways.  One lady made a comment about the twigs and I told her what I was doing (collecting twigs for carving).  She told me to help myself to anything I wanted from her driveway and lawn.  She saw it as a service and not an imposition at all.  :)  It was pretty cool.  I was able to get what I wanted without stepping even a toe on anyone's property.  I collected a good bit from the middle of the road, which I personally see as being of benefit to everyone in the neighbourhood.
« Last Edit: April 12, 2013, 03:27:02 PM by Knitterly »

hobish

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Re: Neighbourly weirdness? (ie, not being the "weird" neighbour)
« Reply #55 on: April 12, 2013, 06:00:20 PM »
Meh, yeah, i think we're totally miscommunicating; but  :D I am glad you got your stuff. That is really cool. And honestly, i don't think you are wrong or weird or ... ok, maybe weird, but in a "Cool, i wanna be friends with the Go Away Lady"  ;) kind of way.

 :) Now ... we will expect pics.
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Bijou

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Re: Neighbourly weirdness? (ie, not being the "weird" neighbour)
« Reply #56 on: April 13, 2013, 02:32:30 AM »
I sometimes worry about being the "weird neighbour".  After all, I am perfectly aware that I have more than a few oddities about me.  Just last night, I pulled over the car on the side of the road to hop out and grab a twig off the sidewalk (in the pouring rain!!).  I'd spotted it and it was the perfect size and shape for whittling.  (Yet another hobby.)

I want to do something, but worry it may be flat out weird.

I live in a neighbourhood with LOTS of trees.  There are 3 halves of the neighbourhood.  My section is the newest.  Directly next to my section, starting about 10 houses down, is a *very* established section that was built between the 50s and the 70s.  Beside that is a quasi-newish section that was built between the late 80s and early 90s.  As the neighbourhood has been built up, every house was given a tree, starting in the 50s.  They are maples and oaks.  The 50s-70s houses now have these huge and beautiful oaks and maples in the front yards.  So every spring, many houses have bundles of branches for "yard waste pickup".

How weird would it be to collect some of these branches?  I don't want to mess up people's tied up bundles (city won't collect a bundle that isn't properly tied up). 
Would it be very strange to go around on a Saturday afternoon and knock people's doors with very large trees (with obvious falled branches) and ask to collect some from their yard (I'd explain why I'd want the wood).  Or do you think it would be better to find a park with lots of big trees and try stalk the park for fallen branches or keep an eye out for city workers cutting down stray branches.

The thing is, any old twig won't do.  It should be a nice wood that is good for carving and isn't too flexible when dry.  Maple and Oak are ideal for natural wood carving, as they cure easily in a home oven and look so lovely when finished.

I would appreciate thoughts and direction from other ehellions, crafters and non-crafters alike.

edited to let newcomers to the conversation know that I've decided to limit my interactions to those neighbours who are already outside doing yardwork on a sunny day, but would still appreciate input on the overall etiquette of approaching people in your neighbourhood.  :)
I would love it if someone asked me if they could have a branch of a tree from my yard!  My sister is a whittler, too.  She says she was born with sap in her veins. 
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mstigerlily

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Re: Neighbourly weirdness? (ie, not being the "weird" neighbour)
« Reply #57 on: April 13, 2013, 12:36:00 PM »
Please knock on my door- I won't mind. (but will probably ask what you're whittling!). I'd probably tell you to take whatever you want in the future, too. Heck, if you want to chop back the overgrowth on my (tall woody floral bushes) or tree suckers, go for it!

If you dig through my brush pile without asking, even if you don't make a mess, it would probably bug me. This is because we've had people make a problem with collections before. The worst were the people who dug through our dumpster bag, upending everything and forcing us to have to completely repack it before the garbage collectors got there. Believe me, reorganizing garbage in my office clothes and heels really puts me in good mood early in the morning  >:D.

Knitterly

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Re: Neighbourly weirdness? (ie, not being the "weird" neighbour)
« Reply #58 on: April 21, 2013, 12:40:30 AM »
Meh, yeah, i think we're totally miscommunicating; but  :D I am glad you got your stuff. That is really cool. And honestly, i don't think you are wrong or weird or ... ok, maybe weird, but in a "Cool, i wanna be friends with the Go Away Lady"  ;) kind of way.

 :) Now ... we will expect pics.

I posted this picture over in the "craftiness" folder (pictures thread), along with a bit more detail on what it is and how I got it to look like this, but here is my most recent finished product, before and after shot: 



This is one of my collected branches, picked up off the sidewalk after the heavy rain from last week.  :)