When I was in my teens and lived with my parents, my mother would expect me to fetch a lot of drinks for her. When I was getting ready for school in the morning, she would lie in bed calling my name until I brought her a tea tray (though God help me if I
needed help with anything - she would scream at me). At other times, I would be expected to instantly drop whatever I was doing and run to get her a drink as she sat on the couch or lay in bed. We had a lot of fights about this, and it culminated in me moving out as soon as I graduated high school, which is probably the only reason we have a positive relationship
now, although even after I moved out she would try to get me to run around after her whenever I visited, fetching her drinks and feeding the cats, which I'd usually refuse to do.
Adding to my resentment, I haven't noticed my two younger siblings being treated this way, so I feel singled out
My parents have recently returned from a long trip abroad. I'm so happy to have them around again! However, this old battle is rearing its ugly head.
My boyfriend and I visited my parents for dinner on Sunday. I asked her if she wanted help with the dinner, and she asked me to feed the cats. I did that without complaint, and there's really no problem here, since I offered in the first place.
Later, she offered everyone a hot drink, and after me, my boyfriend, and my dad accepted, she asked me to make it, because "I knew what everyone likes". This annoyed me, but I did it.
Then, when she was serving dinner, she asked me if I wanted a glass of coke. I accepted, and she replied that it was in the fridge and I should get her one as well. This annoyed me even more, but I still did it.
So I have a couple of questions. Firstly, is this actually a big deal? Is my history with the issue just making it seem more important than it is? Should I just try to chill out and let it run off my back, and fetch and carry when I visit my parents, and enjoy the otherwise fairly good relationship
we have now?
Secondly, if it is worth doing something about, what should I do? Refuse all offers of refreshment when I visit? Use my words when it happens and tell her that it upsets me? "Turnabout is fair play", start pointedly doing the same for her when she visits?
Please help me approach this like a mature adult and not a sulky teen