General Etiquette > Life...in general

Wedding begging invitation Update #29

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Redneck Gravy:
This may need to be moved to another topic...

I come from a large family - brothers & sisters, steps & halves, lots of remarriages.  I get invited to everything (weddings, baby showers, graduations & birthdays, etc) so I see lots of invitations of all kinds.  Also I worked for a printing company for over 20 years that printed tons of invites, I've seen everything acceptable and what we on eHell would consider unacceptable.

Yesterday I received a wedding invitation from a niece wording as follows:

Miss Jane Doe and
Mr John Smith
invite you attend their wedding
on x day, at x place, etc. 

Instead of traditional wedding gifts
Jane and John request monetary gifts or gift cards

A pre-addressed envelope was included.  There was no rsvp card so I assumed it was for me to mail my donation back.

Oh my, is this going to be the new and acceptable trend?

Thipu1:
Good grief, no!  This isn't acceptable at all.

To my mind, the lack of a response card and the presence of an envelope to return your 'gift' was a solicitation for money.  It sounds very much like an 'invitation' to attend a banquet for politician X who is running for Y position.  Evil Thipu would put a small note in the envelope sending our regrets. 

Hmmmmm:

--- Quote from: Thipu1 on April 23, 2013, 10:48:07 AM ---Good grief, no!  This isn't acceptable at all.

To my mind, the lack of a response card and the presence of an envelope to return your 'gift' was a solicitation for money.  It sounds very much like an 'invitation' to attend a banquet for politician X who is running for Y position.  Evil Thipu would put a small note in the envelope sending our regrets.

--- End quote ---

While I agree the inclusion of an envelope definately implied a solicitation of money, please remember that an RSVP card is not required for any wedding invitation and is not an indication on the couples desire to have you attend or not.

Twik:
No, but a self-addressed envelope with no enclosure at all looks pretty much like the anticipated receptacle for monetary largesse.

stitchygreyanonymouse:
Would it be terribly passive agressive to "assume" that the HC included the self-addressed envelope as a compromise between one etiquette-maven insisting that they must absolutely include a response card and SAE, and another insisting that they absolutely must show that they understand that their guests know how to properly RSVP using their own stationary? So, by trying to accommodate both, the HC made an even larger gaffe?

You could send your RSVP in the SAE, written on your own paper, with that assumption. And ignore the blatant gimme pig request. Maybe they’ll get enough backlash from others willing to point out their rudeness.

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