General Etiquette > Family and Children

"who's watching the kids?"

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I often ask this as casual conversation amd don't mind being asked, though I've never been asked in an accusatory manner. My kid also gets left with a variety of people.


--- Quote from: TomatoBunny on April 26, 2013, 08:00:26 PM ---
--- Quote from: Minmom3 on April 26, 2013, 10:23:58 AM ---Not a Nosy Parker question, but more of a 'You're An Idiot" question was wondering if the Reds were twins.  There has ALWAYS been a size difference between them, and even though #2 was petite for her age, and #3 was bigger for her age, #2 was always a lot bigger than her little sister, because, for reals people, 31 months apart!    :o

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Unfortunately, I'm not really surprised, but you're not alone! My brother is 2.5 years younger than me and while we were growing up, my mom often got the 'twins?' comments because our hair, eyes and skin shade were all the same. Even though I managed to be taller than him (we evened out/he passed me in height while I was in high school, if I recall correctly), that apparently wasn't enough to signify that I was older than him.

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I once insulted DH's cousin's son by accident. It was my first time meeting them and I was told the ages of 3 of the 4 kids, being told that the girl was 10 I assumed the oldest boy who was SIGNIFICANTLY shorter was 8 or 9 (the middle boy was 7 or so). Nope, they were twins. Poor boy apparently heard it a lot.


--- Quote from: lisztchick on April 29, 2013, 11:34:44 AM ---Is there ever a circumstance where it is actually part of one's job to ask "who is watching your child?"

I have a question (and please tell me and forgive me if this is an inappropriate place to ask it!) About six weeks after the birth of my daughter, I was in hospitalized for some fairly serious post-partum complications. I was in the ICU for about a week....sans my new baby. (I don't need to say how awful THAT was!) Without fail, every time a new nurse came on her shift, the first or second question she would ask was, "Who is watching your baby?" They always asked in a very nice, professional way....I mean, I don't believe anyone seriously thought that she'd just been abandoned somewhere. But not one person failed to ask that question, and I was wondering if it was perhaps something they were required to ask? Would anyone here know?

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Could they have been assessing your mental state? I've had several  family members in the ICU at different points. I've overheard the nurses asking about family including kids. After hearing similar questions being asked of different family members in a few months time, I asked sis and she confirmed the staff were looking at the answers to see if there was a difference in their mental state. Example Mom had sundowners during the morning and early afternoon her answers made complete sense. After about three the answers became paranoid we were trying to kill her - one particular nurse had killed sis and me and was trying to kill Mom.

I think that's it. I think they were trying to ascertain that I was comfortable and trusted whoever was caring for my newborn (my mother and my husband) so that I wouldn't have that stress on top of the trauma I was already undergoing. I also found out later from one of the nurses (and I'd forgotten this) that they were also trying to make sure that whoever was caring for my baby knew not to bring her into the ICU to visit me - she said people sometimes attempted this. This was not an idle concern: once I began to recover, I asked my husband to bring her to see me. Thankfully, he called our daughter's pediatrician to clear it with her first. The answer to the question of whether or not it's okay to bring a premature infant to the ICU for a visit? An emphatic, "Are you kidding??" So, obviously my mental state was not of the clearest during that time!  ;)


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