Author Topic: House Guest eHell  (Read 13062 times)

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mumma to KMC

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House Guest eHell
« on: April 25, 2013, 03:17:56 PM »
My in laws recently spent a few days with us. I would actually use the word "invade" to describe their visit. Here are just a few things that happened during their visit:

1. They brought their four dogs with them. No they did not ask. Three of these dogs were small, the other, a German Shepherd. There was no way I'd let the little dogs in the house and certainly not the GS. We have small kids and a pet free house, not to mention there was no asking if the dogs could be here. Dogs were left outside for the duration of their time here*, but I was pretty upset that they didn't ask. (We have a dog of our own, she is a farm dog, not to be let in the house, she has her own domain outside.)

2. My MIL (as mentioned on the cheapskate thread) doesn't like to throw anything away. She doesn't seem to think to eat leftovers prior to leaving for a trip, so she always brings them with her. Except these leftovers aren't really fit for human consumption, as they are pretty old, not to mention, they travel 1000 miles in a car without a cooler. (We live in a Southern state, it is warm here.) The best thing she brought this time was shrimp. Yep, not refrigerated. She wanted to cook it for dinner and feed it to my family. No.

3. I ran the meal plan by them each day, especially for dinner, and asked if they were okay with what I planned. I got the response "Yes, we eat anything." I guess they don't actually eat anything,  because each dinner I made was "supplemented" by something they brought and they ate more of that than what I made. The night I did from-scratch pizza, my sil (who came with them) ended up eating yogurt, because pizza upsets her stomach. She smiled and nodded enthusiastically when I suggested homemade pizza for dinner. Thanks, kid.

4. My sil caught/had a cold, but managed to hide it pretty well. She then shared her dinner (leftovers from an outing they did when they were here, so not old) with my kids.


So, after this visit, I wondered, what was the worst or most memorable house guest experience you've ever had?

I'm not sure if this topic has been covered here recently (I did a search but didn't see anything specific to the idea I had for a topic.) Mods can feel free to delete/move if this is not in the right spot.

SiotehCat

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Re: House Guest eHell
« Reply #1 on: April 25, 2013, 03:37:37 PM »
http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=125745.0

This counts as my worst houseguest. Shortened version: He came to stay with us completely broke and came into our bedroom.

Last weekend we had 5 guys stay with us for the weekend and they didn't give me any of the headache that the other guy did.


Ginger G

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Re: House Guest eHell
« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2013, 04:15:48 PM »
My sister-in-law used to come up and stay with me for a few days each year as a get-away from the spouse and kids.  What started out the first few years as fairly pleasant became increasingly intolerable the last couple of visits and she is thus no longer invited to my house.

The highlights:

Even though I had filled the house with plenty of good snacks (chips & dip, crackers & cheese, cookies, ice cream, yogurt, fruit, etc), she went into my freezer after I went to bed (also after an excellent large dinner) and heated up an expensive box of frozen calamari I had bought for myself.  She then proceeded to only eat about 1/4 of it and left the rest just laying out for me to throw away the next morning.  She also got into a bag of chocolate chips that I was saving to make cookies with, melted them in the microwave and somehow managed to smear chocolate everywhere.  She never cleaned up after herself, at all.  Every morning when I got up, the house would be a wreck.  I couldn't go to work with it like that, so I would be late to work trying to put it back in order.  Then I would get home to another big mess.

The last time she stayed, she drank to excess every day.  She got into my hidden alcohol stash and drank pretty much everything in site.  I would come home from work at 5 pm and she would already be intoxicated.  This last time, my BF was living with me, and she kept leaning over and whispering in my ear right in front of him, which totally offended him - understandably.  He and I went onto the porch and tried to play darts.  She came out, grabbed the darts and threw them, missing the board by a mile and almost falling down in the process.  Luckily no one was hurt.




Coralreef

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Re: House Guest eHell
« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2013, 04:20:22 PM »
Ex-MIL came over to help me while I had pneumonia and the doctor wanted me to go to the hospital for IV antibiotics.  I convinced him to let me go home because DS was 1.5YO, DD was 3.5YO. She would wake me up to change diapers, start the laundry, cook the meals, answer the phone... well, overall cater to her and take care of the house and kiddos. 

I had to call my sister to the rescue. She stormed in, whipped everyone and everything into shape under 3 hours and managed to make Ex-MIL feel ashamed without saying a single word. 

On another visit, she would complain that I was drinking too much and in public: 0.5% alcohol cooler on my back porch.  I discovered that white wine in a coffee cup works wonders to lessen the effects of PITA situations.
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Another sister just would not understand that we were a smoke-free house.  I had to show her the door.  Several times.  She finally got it, good thing I was more stubborn than her.
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Ex-SIL, her DH and three kids came to stay.  They didn't tell us the kids had headlice.  AAARRRGGGHHH.  Luckily, we escaped that fate.  I threw the pillows in the garbage and scalded every piece of bedding they used. 
---------------
Ex-FIL had the idea that my sitting down to eat, read or watch TV was not to be tolerated.  He kept asking me for stuff he could have done himself or just frigging waited for!  EX was doing the same, like father like son. 

[/right

Amara

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Re: House Guest eHell
« Reply #4 on: April 25, 2013, 04:23:10 PM »
Ooh, this is gonna be a great thread. I'm looking forward to all the stories.  >:D Though SiotehCat's guest story is wonderful, I still think the Thanksgiving Blowout of 2006 gets the gold ( http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=124274.0 ).

Mine story takes place about three years ago when I first thought of renting the guest room out on an occasional basis to bring in some extra money. My first (and nearly last) "guest" was a woman about my age who was coming to town from Washington, DC to attend a week-long orientation meeting for a graduate program she had been accepted into. It's a prestigious private university that specializes in low-residency programs. The students have to attend this orientation, which takes place at a local hotel. I suspect most stay there for the convenience. The guest-from-Ehell (GFEH) was cost conscious, and having seen my ad contacted me. We emailed back and forth for a while and then talked on the phone. All seemed okay but some tiny part of me was a bit uncomfortable.

I should have known.

The first overt hint that there might be real problems occurred when I got a phone call at work from her, saying her cell phone wasn't working but that someone on the train--she had spent three days crossing the country because she said she couldn't afford air fare--lent her their phone. She wanted me to leave work and pick her up at the train station. Uhhhhhh... It's true that I had a lot of overtime, but I do not work as a chauffeur. I told her no. (If I had realized that this was the introduction of what I could expect I would have cut off all contact and let her deal with her own housing issues. That would have been the smart thing to do. I wasn't smart.)

I did tell her I'd call some cab companies here as the train station isn't that far from the campus, and I did. Prices seemed reasonable. But she wasn't going to spend the money. She got someone from the train to agree to drive her to the campus. I walked out to the entrance and found her with her bags, showed her back to my office where I let her put her bags down. It was lunchtime so I had another half day of work. She wanted a shower. There is a gym with showers on campus and I (still being nice--and relatively spineless) called the guy whose jurisdiction it was. He graciously agreed to let her use one, though it was against the rules. I took her down and talked to the front desk and they agreed, because I asked nicely, to let her use two clean towels. About two hours later she returns annoyed as all get out because she forgot soap.

Finally, the day ends. I drive her to my place but she wants to stop at the store. I sigh, but it's only a bit out of the way. I wait. She buys. We go home. I show her the room, she showers, settles in and has a couple of glasses of wine. So things are better, right?

Uh huh.

She wants me to drive her to a bank so she can get cash from the ATM. Turns out for some reason her card doesn't work so once home she calls her adult daughter and  .... dear god, I am subjected to the one-sided nasty sounds of a toxic relationship for a good half hour. I don't know the outcome. I don't want to know.

She's suspicious of my taking the money so she wants a receipt. Okay, a bit weird but I print one up and sign it. Then she asks me to drive her back and forth every day to the hotel where the orientation is. The hotel is on the beach, not far from the campus but out of my way to work. I agree for $5 per ride in the morning since I need to be at work at 7:00 am. But picking her up at 9:00 pm? No way. By that time of night I am in my nightshirt and long since settled in.

I'll skip over a lot of stuff but let me briefly highlight a couple of goodies: She asks people at the orientation for rides back to my place at the end of the night. Everyone is undoubtedly tired and I am not near the hotel but for two days she gets this. The third day she is unable to secure any free rides so she takes a taxi, which infuriates her so much that when she stomps up the kitchen stairs she flings the screen door open so hard it slams into the railing taking a bit of paint off it. I open my mouth than close it. I've only a few more days to go so I decide to bide my time.

However (and you knew there had to be one, right?), she now has another grip, no doubt fueled by the multiple glasses of cheap wine she seems to really like. This one: I snore. So sue me, yes, I snore. She asks demands a white noise machine. I don't have one. She asks demands I keep my bedroom door closed. No can do; the cats need access to the litter box. She takes a towel of mine and stuffs it under her door after she dramatically and theatrically closes it.

I have told her I do not allow anyone to have food or even water in the bedrooms because I once had a small invasion of ants. No problems have arisen, but why tempt them? What do I find in her room when I went in just to check on it on the second or third day? A half-eaten ripe banana. I was furious and confronted her (spinelessly) about it. She claimed she had not eaten it. I guess the banana ate part of itself then, huh?

The lies, the anger, the ongoing stress and hassle finally got to me. So on what I think was the third or fourth night (of six or maybe seven) I was sufficiently angry that I stayed up very late reading. I was thinking more than reading, but I also thought the later I stayed up the less snoring she would have to endure. What I was debating was how to get rid of her early without risking damage to my home. I had no idea if all that anger--and there was more there than I have seen in a very long time--would be directed at me, my cats, or my home. I was determined to protect all three so I thought and thought and thought. Eventually, I came up with the plan to call in sick to work the next day in order to stay home. I would get up, shower, get dressed and eat breakfast as normal, then take her in the car to the orientation. Then I would come back pack up all her stuff and take it back to the hotel and leave it with the front desk staff after telling them where she was. And that's what I did. In the ultimate act of spinelessness, I sat down that morning after dropping her off--she had no idea as I was sweet as usual on the drive--and first wrote up a financial checklist that detailed the money she had given me, what she had used for her housing and what I owed her. I got the cash and the paper, put it all into an envelope and sealed it. I then went into her room and the bathroom and the refrigerator and packed all her stuff. Neatly. I then took it all down to the hotel, dragged it into the lobby, told the nice staff where she was and that she had been staying with me but that I could not take it any more. Then the tears came out. I didn't cry in front of them but I had tears rolling down my cheeks as I gently told them that I was sorry but to watch out for her. Then I left and went home.

I was shaking with fear and anger and rage at myself for not only getting myself into this mess but for meekly accepting the carp she kept piling on me. I cleaned and cleaned the bathroom; there was a horrible perfume smell that I couldn't get rid of for about three weeks with serious cleaning. (It turned out to be baby powder, but not the J&J brand. Different brand and different odor but same rotten stinky filth.)

She never came back, never attempted to contact me again. And though I lost some money I needed it was worth it to be rid of her. I didn't stop worrying, however, until her train pulled out of the station. (I knew the one she was on.)

And the whole irony of the situation for me was this: She was in the PhD program to become a psychologist!
 

mumma to KMC

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Re: House Guest eHell
« Reply #5 on: April 25, 2013, 04:32:50 PM »
  Ex-MIL came over to help me while I had pneumonia and the doctor wanted me to go to the hospital for IV antibiotics.  I convinced him to let me go home because DS was 1.5YO, DD was 3.5YO. She would wake me up to change diapers, start the laundry, cook the meals, answer the phone... well, overall cater to her and take care of the house and kiddos. 

I had to call my sister to the rescue. She stormed in, whipped everyone and everything into shape under 3 hours and managed to make Ex-MIL feel ashamed without saying a single word.


On another visit, she would complain that I was drinking too much and in public: 0.5% alcohol cooler on my back porch.  I discovered that white wine in a coffee cup works wonders to lessen the effects of PITA situations.
--------------
Another sister just would not understand that we were a smoke-free house.  I had to show her the door.  Several times.  She finally got it, good thing I was more stubborn than her.
--------------
Ex-SIL, her DH and three kids came to stay.  They didn't tell us the kids had headlice.  AAARRRGGGHHH.  Luckily, we escaped that fate.  I threw the pillows in the garbage and scalded every piece of bedding they used.
---------------
Ex-FIL had the idea that my sitting down to eat, read or watch TV was not to be tolerated.  He kept asking me for stuff he could have done himself or just frigging waited for!  EX was doing the same, like father like son. 


I think I bolded two up there :) The first MIL not really helping. With my most recent in law visit, my youngest was two weeks old. Now my inlaws didn't come to "help" but you'd think that they'd wash a dish here and there or at least clear their dishes from the table. Nope, nothing. When they left, they didn't even make an attempt to clean up the room they slept in.

Related to lice, my FIL did decide to vacuum out his car before they left. The car the dogs stayed in their whole trip, minus running around our yard for a few hours a day. Fleas. Nothing makes mama bear anger come out more that seeing a few fleas crawling on the skin of your young children. I'm still finding a few here and there around the house. I was angry and near tears while trying to deflea things. :(

reflection5

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Re: House Guest eHell
« Reply #6 on: April 25, 2013, 04:42:35 PM »
Amara - wow.  :o  A good Movie of the Week.  :D

Question - you said she took a shower at the gym (at your job) upon arrival.  Then when you took her to your house (the same day) she took another shower.  Right?  ??? Strange.

Quote
She was in the PhD program to become a psychologist!
  Funny!!!! :D
« Last Edit: April 25, 2013, 04:44:19 PM by reflection5 »

Amara

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Re: House Guest eHell
« Reply #7 on: April 25, 2013, 04:47:39 PM »
A movie I would pass on, I think.  ;)

She did take two showers, but they were hours apart if I remember correctly. Around 2:00 in the afternoon and then again around 9:00 at night before she went to bed.

Shalamar

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Re: House Guest eHell
« Reply #8 on: April 25, 2013, 04:49:01 PM »
Wow, and I thought my MIL was bad after I'd had my first baby.  She came to stay for a while to "help out".  When she arrived, it was a few days after I'd left the hospital, but I was still in a lot of pain, plus I was exhausted.  She plopped herself down in a chair and looked at me expectantly.  I said "Um ... would you like something to drink?"   Without budging, she said "I'll take a Sprite."  (Note the lack of "please" or "thank you".)  And, like an idiot, I hauled myself off the chair and got it for her.  To this day, I'm sorry that I didn't say "Sprite is in the fridge, and while you're up, I'd love a glass of water."

Oh, and the following day, she asked me how my night was.  I started to say "Not great - Daughter kept me awake most of the night", but she interrupted me to say reassuringly "Don't worry; I didn't hear a thing, and I slept fine."    Um ... yay?

reflection5

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Re: House Guest eHell
« Reply #9 on: April 25, 2013, 04:50:25 PM »
Amara, aahh, okay.  Two showers wouldn't be unusual spaced that far apart, esp if it was warm weather.  I thought it was just a couple hours apart.

I can't just comment on various parts of your story, so I'm just shaking my head.

PS:  Your post was long, but you're a good story teller; I was riveted! :)
« Last Edit: April 25, 2013, 05:00:06 PM by reflection5 »

Luci

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Re: House Guest eHell
« Reply #10 on: April 25, 2013, 04:59:09 PM »
I discovered that white wine in a coffee cup works wonders to lessen the effects of PITA situations.


My inlaws are not really bad, but when they come, they just take over. I've long learned just to be prepared as best I can and let the event just take on a life of it's own.

We have found that red wine in a coffee cup is more inconspicuous. The bathroom, behind the lower towels, is a good stashing place. Just saying.........

weeblewobble

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Re: House Guest eHell
« Reply #11 on: April 25, 2013, 05:23:39 PM »
Ex-MIL came over to help me while I had pneumonia and the doctor wanted me to go to the hospital for IV antibiotics.  I convinced him to let me go home because DS was 1.5YO, DD was 3.5YO. She would wake me up to change diapers, start the laundry, cook the meals, answer the phone... well, overall cater to her and take care of the house and kiddos. 

I had to call my sister to the rescue. She stormed in, whipped everyone and everything into shape under 3 hours and managed to make Ex-MIL feel ashamed without saying a single word. 

On another visit, she would complain that I was drinking too much and in public: 0.5% alcohol cooler on my back porch.  I discovered that white wine in a coffee cup works wonders to lessen the effects of PITA situations.
--------------
Another sister just would not understand that we were a smoke-free house.  I had to show her the door.  Several times.  She finally got it, good thing I was more stubborn than her.
--------------
Ex-SIL, her DH and three kids came to stay.  They didn't tell us the kids had headlice.  AAARRRGGGHHH.  Luckily, we escaped that fate.  I threw the pillows in the garbage and scalded every piece of bedding they used. 
---------------
Ex-FIL had the idea that my sitting down to eat, read or watch TV was not to be tolerated.  He kept asking me for stuff he could have done himself or just frigging waited for!  EX was doing the same, like father like son.

First of all, I love your sister and would like to borrow her sometime.

As for the head lice, that is not only and "I will not allow you to stay in my home" but an "I will not talk to you any more" offense.

mumma to KMC

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Re: House Guest eHell
« Reply #12 on: April 25, 2013, 05:24:28 PM »
I discovered that white wine in a coffee cup works wonders to lessen the effects of PITA situations.


My inlaws are not really bad, but when they come, they just take over. I've long learned just to be prepared as best I can and let the event just take on a life of it's own.

We have found that red wine in a coffee cup is more inconspicuous. The bathroom, behind the lower towels, is a good stashing place. Just saying.........

I found out on a trip "home" that drinking made in law visits much nicer. I'm not a big drinker, I need a crowd over to help me drink wine, but really, a drink to start out a family reunion is wonderful!

I can also hide it in my bathroom cabinet when they come to visit, because they bring all their own bathroom stuff anyway, not just soap and shampoo, but towels and bathmats as well. (By the way, is this normal? When I've traveled and stayed with family or friends, towels are provided. As a matter of fact when my inlaws come, I set them out nicely in the "guest" room. They don't get touched.


mumma to KMC

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Re: House Guest eHell
« Reply #13 on: April 25, 2013, 05:27:27 PM »
I just had this one screaming back in my memory: FIL walked through my living room post shower with his teeshirt on and a towel wrapped around his lower half. I can't unsee it now!

That isn't the first time though, at our old house, he went to the bathroom in just his undies. I don't know about you, but when I'm at someone's house or we have guests, I in full dress mode (modest jammies or fully dressed day clothes)  before I leave my bedroom.

Black Delphinium

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Re: House Guest eHell
« Reply #14 on: April 25, 2013, 05:38:07 PM »
I can also hide it in my bathroom cabinet when they come to visit, because they bring all their own bathroom stuff anyway, not just soap and shampoo, but towels and bathmats as well. (By the way, is this normal? When I've traveled and stayed with family or friends, towels are provided. As a matter of fact when my inlaws come, I set them out nicely in the "guest" room. They don't get touched.
It depends, I have my favorite towels that I prefer to travel with, if I can, but I'm picky.
When angels go bad, they go worse than anyone. Remember, Lucifer was an angel. ~The Marquis De Carabas