Author Topic: Weird to wear engagement ring and wedding band if you aren't engaged or married?  (Read 2215 times)

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Bijou

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I've been married for 40 years and don't wear a wedding or engagement ring.  I have one but don't wear it. I outgrew it, then it outgrew me and then I outgrew it again.  I don't think it could take another expanding or shrinking.  It's just a very thin gold band. 
I've never knitted anything I could recognize when it was finished.  Actually, I've never finished anything, much to my family's relief.

Rohanna

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Well yes, not having a band doesn't mean you aren't married- but in general *having* one tends to be something only married people do. If someone assuming the wrong thing isn't a problem for the OP (like say, someone she might potentially be interested in romantically), then there's no "law" that says she can't. There's not a "law" in my country that prevents a non-Christian like me wearing a cross as jewellery, but I choose not to as I don't want people to assume I belong to that religion and have to explain things uncomfortably when I turn down invites to church functions. If someone else wants to wear their Grandma's cross and doesn't mind explaining that to people, power to 'em! :)
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JenJay

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As long as you don't mind people assuming you are married I would wear them however I wanted.  Having a ring doesn't make you married any more than not having one makes you not married. Also, having a ring on the left hand ring finger doesn't mean you are married in quite a few countries: they wear the wedding ring on the right hand. http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/09/the-origin-of-wedding-rings-and-why-theyre-worn-on-the-4th-finger-of-the-left-hand/ and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ring_finger

I agree. My (single) mom recently bought herself a beautiful diamond ring that's technically a wedding set. She loved it, she wanted it, she could afford it, so she bought it!  :D

sparksals

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I don't think it is anyone's business to judge what rings you wear on what finger for whatever reason.   If it doesn't bother you to wear on  the left hand, then wear it on the left hand.  Don't worry what others think!


Mel the Redcap

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Mum gave me the engagement and wedding ring set she wore when she married her first husband (my bio dad) on my 21st birthday, and I've worn them pretty much non-stop since. I put them on my right ring finger and kept wearing them after getting engaged and married myself, so I have a diamond-and-white-gold set on my right hand and a ruby-with-white-and-yellow-gold set on my left; as a side note, the Good Ethnic Boy is left-handed and comes from a culture that often wears the wedding set on the right hand, so his ring is on his right.

If you like 'em, wear 'em and enjoy 'em, I say. ;)
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TurtleDove

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I have a wedding set that I made into a nice solitaire pendant and the smaller diamonds I had formed into my first initial. I wear them along with a white gold circle with my daughter's name and birthdate on it and as a cluster it looks really quite cool and unique! If you are uncomfortable at all with the symbolism of the rings I suggest working with a jeweler to have all the stones reset into something you love.

Twik

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I don't think it is anyone's business to judge what rings you wear on what finger for whatever reason.   If it doesn't bother you to wear on  the left hand, then wear it on the left hand.  Don't worry what others think!

I don't think it's a matter of "judging". But if the OP wears a wedding ring and band on the finger traditionally used for wedding rings, many people will presume, at first, that she is married.

If this doesn't bother her, no harm - but if she gets tired of answering questions about her (non-existent) spouse, or finds it hard to get dates with eligible bachelors, she can't complain, because she has given symbolic communication that she is, indeed, married.

This is not a judgment, it is a matter of social communication.
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TurtleDove

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This is not a judgment, it is a matter of social communication.
This is a really good way of describing this, and I think it works in a lot of contexts.  How we dress and groom and comport ouselves can be a part of social communication.  It isn't right to "judge" other people, but it is also naive to believe that our physical appearance, including jewelry, has no bearing on what is perceived about us.